I have finished the vorarephiliac draft. It's not perfect, but if you think that it can be improved tell me how. Thanks.
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I was not expecting good things. I got better things than I was expecting but I still didn't get good things.
"Its art style has been described as surprisingly good and detailed" - tone check on the word good, it doesn't feel right
"SCP-1650 is the history of a virgin man in his twenties wanting to explore the ways of sex" - tone check on this whole fucking sentence, goddamn
Wait a minute is this turning into a plot summary? That doesn't seem very SCPish.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to do any more individual sentence critiques. I was just reading a bunch of people who said "The SCP Foundation is full of prurient sexual fantasies passed off as legitimate SCP objects". I thought that was bullshit, that I'd never seen any SCPs like that. Well, thanks a lot for proving me wrong. Yippee.
No seriously write something good please? I bet you could. I see some potential in here. It's just drowned in fetish.
See your point, because some people really have that… ugh, fantasies. They disgust me to no end, but I can see how can it be a bad idea for a SCP.
BTW, thanks for believing in my potential. I see that writing good SCPs is hard (and English is not even my first language, I'm from Spain), so it means a lot to me.
Your English is quite good, actually. I don't think this concept can be salvaged, but you have potential as a writer. Try again. :)
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