You expunged the interesting part, have an overall weak idea, and then have tonal issues throughout.
SCP-1819-1 then starts to rant in some form of ancient language
Like this. If they can't identify the language, how can it be ancient?
Ooh boy!
SCP-1819 is to be kept in a 25x25 cm steel box, with no light, a small TV with a VCR.
Fragmented sentence. Reads as "This is to be kept in a box, with a thing, a thing with a thing."
checked every 1hr 10.
"one hour and ten minutes" ins't that hard to write, and it makes you look a lot less lazy. Also, what are we checking for?
SCP-1819 appears to be a typical VCR,
Typical for what? There's more than type, you know.
covered with a regular soft-cardboard cover reading
Redundant and "regular" is poor tone".
a regular educational VCR
Quit saying regular, damn it! Also, "educational video/short film" would be better.
around the last six (6) minutes
Be more specific please.
a South African man
From this VCR you were able to determine the exact location of his ethnic background, uh-huh. Use 'African' or something.
This is SCP-1819-2.
No, this is Patrick.
[LOG EXPUNGED DUE TO MEMETIC CAPABILITIES]
PPPPFTTTTT DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A MEMETIC IS, AND HOW TO REDACT PROPERLY?
Zen and the art of DATA REDACTED
Understanding Memetics
SCP-1819-1 then starts to rant in some form of ancient language, that dates far before that of the production date of the VCR.
Rant is poor tone, the last bit is awkward, and now that we know what Swahili, Latin, ancient whatever, etc. is this is either poor fact checking or just 'unknown language what is spooky'
During this rant, those viewing will start to suffer seizures, attempting to remove their eyes with anything nearby, before becoming very thin, and all hair falling out.
Reads as: "During this rant, those viewing will start to do things, attempting to do things, before doing things, and thing."
members of SCP-1819-3
What the fuck's an SCP-1819-3?
and drag the subject into a viewing of the video
Like my girlfriend dragged me into a viewing of Twilight? What does this even mean?
attack the subject like a pack, biting, tearing the subject to death.
Poor wording and tone.
After a period of exactly three (3) days, SCP-1819-3 has been given no new subjects,
Is this supposed to be a test or is there a missing "and" there?
all members will collapse, and die, their skulls caving in before very quickly fading.
What.
Dr. Addams requests to test the destructibility of SCP-1819.
‘Granted’- O5 Council.
You just fucking shoved that little last bit on, didn't you? *Facepalm*
Those are just some of the things wrong with this. However, I do like the concept. Imagining this guy chained to a chair and ranting in Ancient Blackboxian did make me a little chilled. But yeah, it does need work.
Let us inspect this.
25x25 cm
3D object, 3D container. Is it so hard to grasp?
25x25 cm steel box, with no light, a small TV with a VCR.
…wait. What?
The smallest TV in the world measures in at 100 inches, or about…254cm. And VCRs… I have one that's about a .75 foot long, 6 inches wide, and about 2 inches tall. I don't think you can fit all that into a 25 CM box unless you used SCP-184 on it.
SCP-1819 appears to be a typical VCR,
…then why does it need a VCR in the box? Isn't it already a VCR? VCRception!
I think you mean VHS or VHS tape, judging from what I'm reading.
South African man with no eyes
…how can they tell it's ethnicity? I mean, you would be able to tell if it was black, but how can they pinpoint that it's from that particular region of Africa? And if you mean the country of South Africa, that's even more implausible.
SCP-1819-1 then starts to rant in some form of ancient language, that dates far before that of the production date of the VCR.
Yeah, I heard about the VHS tape they found in King Tut's tomb, too. Point is, you don't need to say that it dates long before the production of the VHS; that much is obvious.
It appears that the effect can be passed through the noise of the ranting alone, rather than just viewing of the image, and vice versa
…
[LOG EXPUNGED DUE TO MEMETIC CAPABILITIES]
Contradiction.
SCP-1819 was found in 2005, in the ruins of a school that was burned down by ‘Raving Goblins’, and was intact, even though the fire had been said to start in the room. Dr. Addams requests to test the destructibility of SCP-1819.
…Raving Goblins. Never thought I would see that in an SCP.
This needs work, and a LOT of it.
