Hey guys, I'm working on a new SCP and I'd love to get your opinion on it. Is it creepy/interesting enough? Would you downvote/upvote, and why? Thanks!
Sorry, but I'd downvote. Between the non-clinical tone, the use of the imperial system of measurement, and the non-containment procedures, it's just a ball that changes the weather for no raisin, and wants help.
Perhaps make it something other than a ball of light, and elude as to why it needs help a bit more?
edit: also, the addendum would have been noticed on the spot.
Well the format can be fixed. I hear what you're saying about the ball of light though. What sort of thing would be creepy to be seen floating over open water?
Does it have to be above water? I don't really see a reason as to why it must… But if your keen on it, what about those huge metal buoys? I'd think that'd be a interesting thing for souls to be trapped in. Plus, if it has a bell, so you could keep the morse code thing.
Keep this in mind though, this isn't the only thing you'd need to change. So far, the only thing it does is make the weather kind of creepy, and (I'm guessing) swallow your soul. I'd recommend having the SOS bit be a lure for fishermen or something, and then… something. I dunno, maybe they get inexplicably raped, but it needs to catch readers attention. Having a doctor come up to it, and leave because she was creeped out isn't interesting.
Yeah, I really like the bouy idea. Can't believe I didn't think of that.
The concept for the SCP was kind of like Angler Fish + Bermuda Triangle. The Bermuda and Great Lakes Triangles are these places where ships and planes get swallowed up, but how often has that happened in the past 30 years? I wanted to suggest that new technologies and procedures would make it harder for whatever is in the Triangle to get its victims, and so it's trying a new tactic: using SOS signals to lure in people.
You're right though. It needs something shocking. I'll give it some thought. Thanks!
If I count the metacarpal, my thumb is longer than this article.
That's grounds for auto-downvote without even reading it in my book.
Interesting. My eyes tend to glaze over if I see huge block paragraphs in SCP articles. Where do you think I can flesh things out more?
You don't necessarily need huge walls of text. I believe Djoric was referring to Scantron's Rule of Thumb, which has proven itself worthy of being followed time and again.
Let's look at this bit by bit, shall we?
Special Containment Procedures: As of 09/08/12, SCP-XXXX appears self-contained in the █████ █████ region of North America.
So, as of either yesterday or a month ago, depending on whether or not this is a British numbering system, it's self contained. How convenient.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an unknown, potentially sapient entity.
…I don't even need to read the rest of the article to downvote this. And I'm not sure what sapient means what you think it means.
It manifests as a ball of flashing yellow light hovering one meter above the water's surface. The flashing begins shortly after sundown and continues until approximately one hour before sunrise.
…so, wait. Is the ball of light there during the middle of the day? And above the water's surface where? Lake Erie? My bathtub? Latitude 47° 9′ S, Longitude 126° 43′ W in the South Pacific? Where?
Non-visual electronic means of detecting SCP-xxxx have proven fruitless.
There goes my hope of electronically recording it's scent!
If approached within 500 meters, SCP-xxxx begins to exhibit intense weather anomalies including heavy fog, rogue waves as high as 31 feet tall,
Firstly, how can we see it if we can't even approach it within half a kilometer? I mean, granted, it could probably be seen from the air, but it must be pretty bright for that to happen. Also. DO NOT USE IMPERIAL MEASUREMENT.
Addendum: SCP-xxxx's flashing pattern has been identified by Dr. Saluia, head of SCP-xxxx research, as the international Morse code distress signal for "S.O.S."
As Fantem pointed out, why didn't they notice that right off?!
…The addenda are the best part of this article. But that's not saying much. Between the unclinical tone and just general blandness… this is pretty bad.
Alright, made some updates and hopefully fleshed some things out. It's kind of three ideas combined into one so that might be too much. Is there one I should focus on and discard the rest?
Frist thing the description should say, is what the item is, not where or how it was found. You should put that in sometime after you're done. Also, SCP-xxxx-1, 2, and 3 should be mentioned in the description as well. You should also not reference an actual event that happened IRL. And there are tone issues all over the place. Otherwise, I think you're on the right track.
"There's something…on the wing!"
I like this SCP idea, but I couldn't resist a Twilight Zone reference. However, there are a few issues, namely the wrecked plane. I'm sorry, but you can't just use a real plane crash for an SCP. It does make an interesting idea, but, saying an SCP crashed that plane would be like suggesting the Titanic sank because of 682: it just isn't proper. Make up a lost plane, Black Box the hell out of it, just don't use a real one. It would be somewhat disrespectful to the people that died on that plane if we used it in a story to amuse people.