SCP Foundation

Note: I correct the given mistake only once. If you do not use the metric system, I will only make a single comment about it, even if it appears again in the rest of the article. If the draft has many language problems, I will only correct the most glaring ones.

SCP-XXXX is to be contained inside a 10m x 10m x 10m tank.

Measurements shouldn't be included unless they are essential to containment. E.g., it's okay to say 'standard' and you don't need to include the measurements at all, as that can actually cause more trouble and questions more often than not.

This tank is to have reinforced ballistic glass to ensure no external threat can damage the entity contained.

Avoid using fluff text like "To ensure safety" to justify containment. In-universe, it's assumed that all instructions are there for a good reason. If you're building an IKEA bookshelf, you don't need to know that the screws are in place to hold the shelves together. You just need to know where the screws go.

The tank is to be filled with cerebrospinal fluid to a minimum of three (3) quarters full.

While the number (#) notation saw a lot of use in the past, it's not something that really needs to be used unless there's a strong need for the number to be read accurately (drug dosages, for instance.) Otherwise it's just taking up space.

Agent:███████ designated as Class-E:88251-G3 is to be kept in another facility until the need to transport SCP-XXXX arises.

Avoid naming specific personnel. If you name someone specifically but they are unavailable in-universe, personnel won't know who to address instead. This is especially true if you then proceed to blackbar it anyway, because we won't know who to talk to.

SCP-XXXX is to be monitored via three (3) security cameras stationed around the containment tank, as well as biofeedback devices placed on the surface of the tank to measure SCP-XXXX’s “brain” activity. Levels above 30Hz should be reported to the Site Director immediately as it is often considered that these are indicators of possible premonitions of a containment breach, whether at the current facility or at another site.

Saying that something should be monitored at all times means that you have some poor bastard keep their eyes on an object 24 hours a day, maybe in shifts with other people if they're lucky. Think about how many man-hours that would take. If the Foundation does its job properly, it shouldn't be able to break out of the containment chamber, and the constant monitoring wouldn't be necessary.

You're saying that you plan to have more backstory and context to it. I hope they're interesting, because so far, this is a generic monster.

Spooky monsters were a common trope back in series 1, but the site has evolved significantly since then. If you want to continue, I suggest you pick one anomalous aspect to focus on and discard the others. Focus on characterising the entity and building a narrative around it through backstory, interactions with Foundation staff, etc. You may want to try a different concept though, as writing a humanoid monster is difficult for even veteran writers due to the need for a novel twist and execution.

Humanoids are actually among the most difficult types of articles to write successfully; if you're really set on writing one, then first take a look at the humanoid writing guide if you haven't yet.

I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you make the idea more interesting and give you some advice on structuring the eventual article for smoothness of reading and narrative.