Point 1: Is this a GOC case file?
I'm a little confused. You title it as a case file, and due to the large exposition dump, I feel like this is probably supposed to be a case file. However, phrases like:
Whiskey's two main attributes are his brute strength
Make it sound more like a tale or a D&D character description. And you DID call it a tale in this post.
Point 2: The Writing
Your overuse of long, run on sentences makes this really hard to get through — I really had to read most things 2-4 times to actually get the story. Sentences like this:
Bravo is a lieutenant and second-in-command of Crimson-9, knowledgeable in military tactics, Bravo often plans the missions of Crimson-9 and advises Commander in most tactical incursions.
Should be split up into multiple sentences like so:
Bravo is a lieutenant and second-in-command of Crimson-9, knowledgeable in military tactics. He often plans the missions of Crimson-9 and advises Commander in most tactical incursions.
Basically, try to make this easier to get through — shorter and more varied sentences can help.
Point 3: The story:
So… not much actually leads to anything here. You introduce the characters, plotting out their strengths, the setting, and the situation. And that's it. None of it actually leads anywhere — the characters don't get to utilize their particular strengths, the situation is played upon, etc. It's really not a fully written draft.
Overall:
I have to say what you have here isn't particularly impressive. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure what you're going for at all.
Can you explain to me, briefly, what the story you wanted to tell was? I would advise trying to put forward an outline of the events that happen and the order they happen in before writing.
