I feel like I've been cheated out of a punchline. There's a decent setup for some kind of chilling revelation but in the end all we have is something that disappears objects and has a spooky number.
That aside:
- "large" is a silly description for a room. Either give it measurements or call it something like a "standard secure locker" or something similar.
- This is Safe, yet it somehow caused six-digit casualty numbers? There isn't even anything to suggest why so many people could die.
- "Left on a researcher's doorstep" is extremely cliche. "Left with instructions on how to contain it" makes it ten times worse. This absolutely murdered my suspension of disbelief.
Yeah, I felt that something big was missing but as said, it's a work in progress.
- Good point, that's something pretty obvious that I overlooked
- It has been reclassified to safe after new SCP's were implemented… I was trying to imply it might have been behind a couple of the massive earthquakes that happened in the past few years (the number on the bottom represented Earth's mass, therefore when nothing is on the SCP, Earth loses mass and shrinks slightly causing earthquakes) I guess I was a little vague on this though, so that needs a little work.
- I really wanted some explanation for why, given the above point, none of this had happened before, this was really the paragraph I was most unsure about so this just confirms my suspicions that it should be changed, I may have to add like a manufacturing date or some other way of explaining this.
You hinted at that way too vaguely for me to make that connection.
That said, you do realize what actually causes real earthquakes, right? It's really damn hard to handwave something that is fairly well-explained and well-understood by just about any geologist as having actually been caused by a SCP.
I'm sorry, but knowing more about this one just makes it even less likable to me.
Okay, I see what you're saying. I'm probably going to have to say or imply that the decrease in the size of the earth causes the continental plates to accelerate slightly, causing earthquakes. Or something along those lines, OR I can rework its mechanics a bit. Either way, you're right, there are quite a few flaws in my reasoning, so I'm going to rewrite a bit of this and hopefully fix these issues. Thanks.
