Look at the second tab, "Tales". All feedback is appreciated.
I have a few gripes. Before I talk about them though, I'm yet to contribute to the site, so you should take my advice with that in mind. If a veteran disagrees, trust their advice over mine.
I read until "the first time you see 110 Montauk" before I NOPE'd and stopped reading.
You have no idea how the Foundation works, do you? Do you think most agents would even be aware of 231's existence? Let alone what 110 Montauk actually entailed? Or that 231 is a whale? No. Because that shit is classified, and the whole point of classification is that to keep people who don't need to know it from knowing about it. Anyone who knows about 231 would not be a new recruit, and any vets around wouldn't go talking about it.
And those agents sure as hell won't see it actually carried out unless they're actually on the project.
Stuff has been changed. No more Montauk.
It still falls into the trap of "ooooooh we are the Foundation and horrible things happen to us ooooooh look we are so morally grey ooooooooh"
It works for the Ethics Committee Orientation, and it works for black white black white black white black white black white gray, but that was because of the actual writing, not the idea itself. You need more. A strong narrative voice for one.
Problem is, Agent Lombardi's already done it.