The Rooster - SCP Foundation

The Rooster

Forum » Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » The Rooster

Started by:

Dr Vaughn
Date: 23 Apr 2018 00:23
Number of posts: 5

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Summary:

An animate rooster statue that misses its owner.

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The Rooster

Dr Vaughn 23 Apr 2018 00:23

Got a simple one this time, although the idea is still pretty barebones. It's a statue of a rooster; every morning, it animates and starts crowing - then it'll crane its neck around as if it's looking for something (i.e. its owner), and then starts to get distressed when it can't find him, and eventually goes back to its inanimate form.

I dunno, maybe its owner was a farmer that wanted some company, so he made the statue. Not sure how I would explain its anomalousness, though. Thoughts?

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Dr Vaughn, 23 Apr 2018 00:23

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Re: The Rooster

OnjEntertainment 23 Apr 2018 05:26

There are few problems with this SCP.

Firstly, how does the Foundation know how it is looking for its owner?
Secondly, it is not very interesting, people usually overcome this problem with a narrative of some sort that says more on the nature and behaviour of the statue, or tells a small story about it, etc. Without the narrative, its going to end up fairly boring.
Finally, why does it want the owner? Why does the it get distressed? If the owner made the statue for some company, then why did he leave?

Not sure how I would explain its anomalousness, though. Thoughts?

Do you mean how it somehow comes to life? Explain more effectively.
Those are just my thoughts.

Last edited on 23 Apr 2018 05:29 by OnjEntertainment Show more

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OnjEntertainment, 23 Apr 2018 05:26

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Re: The Rooster

Dr Vaughn 23 Apr 2018 05:55

Hi, thanks for the feedback.

Firstly, how does the Foundation know how it is looking for its owner?

Well, they don’t. That’s just what I had in mind - it’d be up to the reader to make that inference.

Without the narrative, its going to end up fairly boring.

I’m aware - although I’ve seen SCPs do well with just an implied narrative, where they hint at a backstory without showering the reader in addendums and the like. I’d greatly appreciate any suggestions for a backstory.

Why does it want the owner?

They had to have been together for some time, and if that’s all the company the owner had, maybe they bonded.

Why did he leave?

Died, possibly. I’m picturing the owner as an old lonely farmer or something of that nature, so it wouldn’t be too out of place for him to pass away eventually. Maybe that’s a cop-out, I dunno.

Do you mean how it somehow comes to life?

Kind of. I imagine this guy built the statue for himself to have some company, so that leaves the question of how it came to be anomalous in the first place.

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Dr Vaughn, 23 Apr 2018 05:55

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Re: The Rooster

OnjEntertainment 23 Apr 2018 06:35

Ok, so you said:

Well, they don’t. That’s just what I had in mind - it’d be up to the reader to make that inference.

I personally think you need some reference to the creator, because most of the stuff you posted is related to the creator.

And you also needed help with some stuff, like:

I’d greatly appreciate any suggestions for a backstory.

and

I imagine this guy built the statue for himself to have some company, so that leaves the question of how it came to be anomalous in the first place.

Ok, I have an idea. How about the old creator voluntarily stole an SCP item (Maybe he is part of The Chaos Insurgency) and then combined the stolen SCP with a rooster statue, which then brought it to life. Then the foundation searched for the stolen SCP then killed the creator, but the creator hid the statue while it was inanimate. The statue was confused about what happened to its creator.

Last edited on 23 Apr 2018 06:58 by OnjEntertainment Show more

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OnjEntertainment, 23 Apr 2018 06:35

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Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 23 Apr 2018 06:39

How about the old creator voluntarily stole an SCP item (Maybe he is part of The Chaos Insurgency) and then combined the stolen SCP with a rooster statue, which then brought it to life. Then the foundation searched for the stolen SCP then killed the creator

This seems to be the opposite of the tone the author is going for. Why does the CI need to be involved at all?

This would make a good tale and can work in an SCP.

I disagree. It feels unnecessarily contrived and kind of convoluted in approach, and stuff that might work for tales doesn't necessarily always translate well to SCP articles.

OnjEntertainment, given that staff have needed to address problematic feedback from you before, please refrain from posting any further critique until you've written something successful yourself. Staff is starting to get complaints about this behavior.