So uh… I'll be completely honest with you, the writing is pretty jumbled. The containment procedures are written a little casually, and overdramatic vague stuff like "Personnel who disobey will be punished." just makes it difficult to take the read seriously. Please remember to put line spaces between paragraphs, so you don't just have a giant block of text that will overwhelm and distract a reader. The reading experience should be as smooth as possible, and having one big chunk of words can make the author look sloppy.
There are also a bunch of unusual phrases that don't quite read like regular English phrasing. Parts like "They are only rough manufactures" use words in ways that aren't typical ("manufactures" is typically used as a verb, not a noun) and other sections like "The only thing they do is creating objects with random material." has somewhat-odd sentence structure which ends up sounding more casual than clinical.
Also, I notice that you have an ideas thread here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-5766471/a-new-idea-adapted-from-my-last-one-still-need-suggestions
It looks like there weren't any experienced authors who told you that you were ready to start drafting, so it seems like you rushed into the draft here. Maybe try brainstorming your idea in the chat? http://www.scp-wiki.net/chat-guide What you have right now is pretty unnecessarily overcomplicated, and honestly a little overpowered as well, what with the "guy who makes anomalies, many of them dangerous enough that the Foundation had to destroy them" bit.
It looks like there weren't any experienced authors who told you that you were ready to start drafting, so it seems like you rushed into the draft here. Maybe try brainstorming your idea in the chat?
Yeah, there were few people replied…So I did not know what to do and sent my draft to see if it was ok. I am still correcting the draft. I feel there are some problems. I make the SCP too complex but I have no idea about how to simplify it. The creations of the three individuals are not always harmful. Sometimes they can be very useless. Such as a small metal box which can only contain apple seeds. It was sent to Dr. King as his birthday gift.
I feel there are some problems. I make the SCP too complex but I have no idea about how to simplify it.
This is something to discuss in the conceptualization stage.
Such as a small metal box which can only contain apple seeds. It was sent to Dr. King as his birthday gift.
Ehh… I don't recommend this. Silly staff avatar shenanigans went out of style years ago, and there's no guarantee that the average site reader will know who Dr. King is, or why the apple seeds joke is a thing at all.
I feel as though you should focus more on making a singular SCP page for each of the 3 individuals you mentioned. They do not need to be combined into one article unless they are directly connected to one another. This page is sufficient for a rough draft, but it still needs work. Your writing is choppy, so first, try to make the information flow together before you do anything else. In addition, please strive to make your writing more formal. In the containment procedures, you do not need to declare that those who disobey will be punished, for that is fundamental knowledge that readers already know. The diction you used tended to be vague, and you made multiple mistakes in grammar. To help correct this, try running the paragraphs through https://www.grammarly.com/.
- Your spicy haired boii, Disiman.
I decide to eliminate SCP-xxxx-2 and makes this SCP a general term of two individuals cause I feel that three individuals are too complicated to describe and SCP-xxxx-2 is actually unnecessary. I intend to show some other special aspects of this SCP in some events in the appendix.
And the language is also a challenge to me, that is true. English is my second language. I think I will correct for many times because of grammar.
I am glad that you cleared up the problems with English. If you require assistance with English and grammar, just message me and I can help. After all, English IS my second best subject and I am going to a school in which I take college-level English classes while only a high school Sophomore.
- Your spicy haired boii, Disiman.
That is sweet. I am studying in uni now. Others say that my English do not really have much grammar problems but the sentences I write sometimes will be wired.
Btw, I have not stopped reading the files of other SCPs recently and I find that someone has already used similar idea as mine. I mean the idea about an SCP which has ability of creativity. This makes me loss interest in writing my current SCP…
I still have three other ideas about new SCPs. One of them is humanoid and two of them are not humanoid but they have human intelligence. And these ideas do not seem to have been used by others yet. I am wondering if I should start a new one.
