Like it says, looking for lots of help with this one guys. This was a pretty challenging concept to write for me so I hope there isn't too much "science fail" in here, though I suspect there will be. Is this a "science overdose" with what I am doing here? Any help is appreciated greatly.
I like this!
Solid tone and writing style.
Unfortunately, I can't help you with the science :/
Please go back to the Rules Thread for this forum and read the part where it says:
- If you are new or not an established contributor yet, please defer to more experienced authors. We value everyone's opinion, but advice from established authors and senior staff is much more valuable to someone asking for feedback for the first time.
You're a bit new to be judging tone and writing style, which in this case is simply wrong.
If you insist.
Overall, I don't think it's very interesting. It's just fire wot makes you really dead. As a great and wise man once said:
Why does it have to be an icosahedron? I'm sure it could have a more interesting appearance.
I wanted to be kind of abstract I guess and avoid something that was biological or mechanical. Do you have any other appearance in mind?
I can see where you're coming from. You could make it a stone dragon head, maybe, but that's just a suggestion. Just don't leave it as an icosahedron, that's boring.
If you're describing the white flame then say flame. "Fire" refers to the oxidation of materials through combustion. Just being specific.
This is… I don't even know where to begin. It's a polyhedron that emits magical fire that destroys anything but gold. Gold, which is extremely ductile and horribly difficult to make solid structures out of. Like chains holding heavy objects. You also have horrible use and obvious misunderstanding of terms like plasma, and the rest of the science is just as awkward. None of this is even remotely interesting or plausible.