Here is my new SCP entitled "computer" (Might change name later)
I'm looking for all the feedback I can possibly get, thanks.
Do not post works in progress to the forums. Use the sandbox. -TroyL
1) Use the sandbox.
2) This is absurd in the worst possible way. Go read a couple hundred articles and actually comprehend them. And master basic writing skills.
- Like Djoric said, sandbox, and read tons of articles.
- You can't get away with putting all of eleven sentences worth of work into this. This level of description would maybe be adequate for a potato. What you're looking at is at least six good-sized paragraphs, going into detail on exactly how (of how the Foundation cannot establish how) things work and proceed with this thing.
- Literally wish fulfillment. We have exactly as many things that let you do/get whatever you want as we can tolerate. SCP-294 is not something you want to emulate.
- You obviously don't into computers. Check out our Expert Witnesses page and talk to people there. My apologies to everyone this guy ends up talking to.They will be able to tell you exactly where you dun goofed better than I could.
- SCP reports are in third person, and there should be spaces between the lines titled Item #:, Object Class:, and Special Containment Procedures:.
- Your wording/tone is off. Reading more SCPs and examining how they do it will help with this.
Take a look at SCP-062 first. Think about what distinguishes your idea from it. What you've got is a basic magic item that's not very interesting to think about. There's probably room enough on the list for another ever-changing machine, but it needs a good hook to capture people's interest and set it apart from the existing one(s?).
Well, it is just a draft, and I was really looking for what you thought of the idea. Apparently its quite boring. Ehh. Not my worst actually. I have yet to right a successful one. The problem with me is anything that's at least anywhere near good is already taken. Well, I'll keep reading and writing.
Nothing is truly original, everything is just a creative twist on existing ideas.
That said, there's an entire forum dedicated to ideas and brainstorming, use that instead of this one if you want to discuss ideas rather than full drafts. (You did read the "Read Me First" rules threads, right?)
The basic idea of an ever-changing, evolving, computer, is quite an interesting concept, at least for me. If you give up on the idea I might try to do something with it. But right now, the draft needs a lot of work, mainly just to keep it interesting. It feels a bit rushed as-is, kind of like, "Oh hey, this is a neat idea, I better write it down." Only you went straight to a draft before coming up with a hook and etc. But I like the core idea about an evolving computer.