My first attempt for this SCP. I'm thinking of adding experiments soon, but I'd like to test this first before adding buttons to a pile of horse shit.
4m x 4m x 5m glass container
Why is there a specific measurement at all for the containment cell? Nothing in the Description block suggests that this is necessary.
can be transported at any time, given proper 05 approval
Would you call up the CEO of your company every time you needed to move a file from one side of the office to the other?
quasi-Victorian era monocle
This sounds silly. I'm pretty sure we can date fashion styles much more accurately than "quasi-Victorian".
I've read to the end of your Description and I can't tell what this item does yet. That means that it isn't much of a Description, is it?
…and now that I've read to the end of the interview, which doesn't flow well at all, I still have no clue what this monocle does. If you're trying to be subtle, it's not working very well because I don't get what you're trying to imply.
Ah, I was afraid of being too direct or amibiguous. Sorry for being the latter. I'll get that sorted out shortly, and my next post should have the edited page.
The idea is that the monocle to inflict an obsessive amount of attention towards any object viewed through said eyeglass where curiosity exists (or given instruction). The following inductive data always concludes in a statistically probability of resulting information in some degree of 13%. All other previous knowledge is exiled during usage, forcing work to be done solely with information given.
I obviously failed at that, so I'll have at it again.
The following inductive data always concludes in a statistically probability of resulting information in some degree of 13%. All other previous knowledge is exiled during usage, forcing work to be done solely with information given.
What? Drop the Star Trek technobabble for a moment and try to explain this concept of yours in plain English, because this is way too confusing.
SCP-XXXX is to be contained in any glass container of any adequate size […]
I think you missed the point. Is there any reason it has to be a glass container? Is there any reason for the tint of such specific opacity? There has to be a specific rhyme and reason to your containment procedures that has to both be a) as simple as possible and b) be a direct result of the object's anomalous properties.
If you're trying to say that direct line of sight to the object has to be obscured, then do so. If there's no reason to store the item in anything other than a "standard secure storage locker", then don't.
This is to prevent any risk of “accidental” infatuation.
This line is non-clinical and horribly out of tone. You shouldn't have to explain why containment procedures are necessarily outside of the Description block.
Security Personnel are to be rotated three times daily, exchanging one person per shift.
This is unnecessary minutae.
Said Personnel are to be subjected to routine psychological evaluation one day prior to every bi-weekly period of monitoring in order to monitor the degradation of reasoning skills.
I'm fairly sure that psychological evaluations don't involve intelligence and reasoning testing, so this needs to be rephrased.
SCP-XXXX may be removed for research given approval of one (1) Level Three clearance researcher or higher. After use, subject and researcher are to be given routine psych-evaluations due to mind altering tendencies of the object.
Experimentation protocol does not list who may qualify as a subject for testing now states that subjects exposed to SCP-XXXX are to be D-class after Agent ██████'s insanity.
This Procedures block is entirely too wordy, and the language is inconsistent with any other Procedures used on the site. From what I understand of what you were trying to get at, I would have used something along the lines of:
"SCP-XXXX is stored in a secure locker at Site 19. Experimentation may only be performed with prior approval from at least one (1) Level 3 Senior Researcher and may only be performed on Class D personnel. All other personnel must wear filtered goggles designed to occlude at least 10% of all light.
"After handling SCP-XXXX, all personnel must undergo mandatory psychological evaluation, and personnel exhibiting signs of degraded reasoning skills must be quarantined and/or removed from duty, as appropriate."
Note that I say nothing about the guards; they shouldn't have to see the thing in the first place. Foundation sites aren't abortions like those in Warehouse 13; we keep our items individually contained in separate areas, not out in the open where looking at something the wrong way could kill you.
SCP-XXXX is nineteenth century monocle adorned with an alloy of unknown metals whose physical properties resemble iron.
"composed of an iron alloy with traces of an unknown metallic substance"
Along the side of the frame, a small inscription of [DATA REDACTED]’s company logo and the epigraph: “To the Judge” can be found.
"engraved with the words "To The Judge" as well as an unknown logo, presumed to be that of its manufacturer"
The eye-glass attracts any nearby sentient being to utilize it, increasing in temptation for every 26 hour period.
Things that make you want to use them are, quite bluntly, extremely boring and forced.
When a user views any object or surrounding with SCP-XXXX has any interest or previous duty dictating the investigation of what is viewed, s/he becomes enthralled with the usage, unable to willingly terminate the use. However, physical intervention seems to interrupt the terms of usage.
"When viewing any object of interest through SCP-XXXX (whether through directed examination or natural curiosity), subjects become increasingly obsessed with examining the object to the point of requiring physical intervention to break observation."
In addition to becoming enthralled, the user's cognitive ability to deduce becomes severely debilitated, leaving only an inductive path. If the user can produce a result, it will be presented in a probability to a varying degree of 13%. If data introduced during usage cannot allow the user to arrive at a conclusion, s/he will simply gaze mindlessly towards the object/surrounding until the eye-glass's side effects reside. At exactly two (2) hours and ten (10) minutes of viewing, should a conclusion not be made beforehand, the user is released from the thralldom and slowly regains deductive reasoning skills. Varying intensities of amnesia exist during and after usage. Multiple uses and prolonged exposure has induced a declining capacity to reason, regardless of the method.
There is so much technobabble here that I literally cannot figure out what you're trying to say.
SCP-XXXX experimentation conclude that SCP-XXXX has no magnifying properties.
I'm fairly sure that monocles were intended for correction rather than magnification, but this feels out of place either way.
The object was brought to attention during an SCP investigation in local crimes ███████,██, wherein victims of heinous crimes were found with no defensive markings.
"heinous" is non-clinical and the entire following origin story feels like it could be summed up in a single sentence.
Actually, after re-reading the description multiple times, all I can figure is that this is a monocle that a) forces you to use it when you see it, and b) makes you obsessed with whatever you see through it to the point where you can't pay attention to anything else. This is a textbook example of an over-the-top item and is completely and utterly boring.