This is the first entry to our Old Man in the Sea canon. Wogglebug spruced up a bunch of the writing and contributed parts here and there, and Roget helped with wording and editing.
Date: 27 Jan 2013 06:26
Number of posts: 13
RSS: New posts
Okay, let me explain my downvote.
You haven't completely disinterested me in the canon. Should future entries interest me further, I'll reread this and reconsider my vote. But as is, the story effectively ends in a cliffhanger and I'm stuck with several questions and absolutely no answers. The story introduces much but effectively says nothing, at least at the moment.
Well, that's what it was meant to be: an intro.
Here's a bad simile: An introduction should be like that one tiny piece of pizza, giving you an idea of what's in store without using up too much of the main mass. This is just the crust of that tiny piece. I downvote for no pizza.
But, to drag this godawful metaphor even further, if the pizza ends up being super duper good, I'll forgive the first piece for being a little flawed, because it worked out in the end.
Fair enough, then. Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of it.
I agree on it not quite reaching the pizza….
…but I feel that this was a stuffed crust, entirely enjoyable in its own right, especially those first couple of bites at the beginning.
I love how you started this, and I feel that if there was anything I would consider a flaw, it's that you started the next part of the story and then cut off abruptly. If you had ended this installment with him having found the earth, this would have been entirely satisfactory. Instead you launch into events in the city and then did an awkward cliffhanger.
I'd agree with you if stuffed crust wasn't awful. That's right, I said it. Stuffed crust is gross.
This is pretty good though, but no vote from me right now. It's well written, but on its own it doesn't do too much for me. I'll revisit and reevaluate my vote once I see the rest.
Well, I'd actually added in the second half because somebody told me it wasn't satisfactory without it.
…any way to vote 1/2 up?
I loved the tone on the first half, and the curiosity it caused. Questions, not forced, but out of my own mind.
The seconf half, though, is the oposite. FORCES you to think questions to what's happening, but answers nothing. Feels empty by itself.
Right. So, there has been some consensus that this canon may be better if read backwards rather than forwards. The final tale is here if you'd like to do that. Rereading this tale after doing that is also nice, because it sheds a whole new light on it.
All in all, this canon's been growing on me like a tumor between 2000 and 8000 km long. With the pertinent questions answered (after reading the rest of the canon), I like this a lot.