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For reference, info on the Third Antarctic Empire.
Tyhjä's rather quiet, and as such, often gets overlooked. Still, he's rather observant, seeing as he sneaks out sometimes to go watch giant predatory birds fly around and he's made it back in one piece every time.
The sketches are drawn by me; I gave myself about ten to thirty?forty? seconds for each of them. I imagine Tyhjä draws on the go, and as such his notebook is full of haphazard doodles and scribbled notes.
Oh man, I can empathize with this guy ;-;
Here, a +1.
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Nicely done, unassuming story. But what was with the spider thing?
I really hope that the birds are toothed because they still descended from dinosaurs, but then went down a different evolutionary path. :D
(and, this is great, +1)
How old is Tyhjä? I seem to recall 348 working mainly with children, with adults finding the soup "missing something."
I'm still deciding that, actually. I originally placed Tyhjä as either his late teens or early twenties.
Also, in regards to 348, not all adults find the soup "missing something". Some do, most don't think the soup is anything out of the ordinary, others just don't feel like finishing it, and a few, like the man in the last addendum, enjoy it a lot.
Now I can't decide between this tale or Turn a New Page as my favorite in the AE canon. The characterization here is very well done: The feelings of anxiety and apprehension felt by Tyhjä were conveyed effectively to me, and due to his mannered and fairly self-conscious behavior, as opposed to Trighit's eccentric ways or Sakarn's formality, I'd say he's probably the most relatable main character so far. Putting yourself in his shoes isn't a hard task at all.
Being the first tale in this canon to add SCPs cameos so openly, I believe this one also does a good job at finally giving us some insight on what somebody from the Third Antarctic Empire thinks not only about a few of the Foundation's possessions, but also on things that might as well not be anomalous at all. Trighit\Pokum's reaction to the effects of 1517 and the subsequent aftermath was rather underwhelming to me, but it's nice to see this be somewhat compensated now.
On the other hand, Alai's depiction here felt a little off to me, mostly because of how collected she seemed on the previous tale featuring her, as opposed to her considerably more laidback attitude here. Such behavior could easily be explained by the events that happen on said tale and the more private environment here, though, so I can't really complain about it. Also, minor nitpick:
“I don’t mind. I prefer quite places.” Tyhjä stated, glancing around.
Did you mean "quiet" here? Anyways, an entertaining read indeed. Enthusiastic +1.
I feel a bit like a jerk here, but the sketches don't seem like something a professional artist would do and it distracted me while reading.
They aren't bad sketches, far from it, but they strike me as from a talented amateur as opposed to someone who has been honing his skills since he was "barely grown".
I guess I should explain a little. The sketches aren't necessarily meant to look professional—I posted in an earlier comment that I drew each one in ten to forty seconds. If you've read Last Plane Out of the South, I included that Tyhjä fidgets a lot.
The drawings were meant to indicate the haphazard sort of thought pattern Tyhjä himself has, and the ones in this tale are examples of what he draws when he feels nervous or doesn't feel like he has anything else to do (which is pretty often, admittedly xD). I imagine his habit of sketching grew out of his habit of fidgeting.
My personal take on it is that Tyhjä uses his quick sketches as a way to remember little snippets of what he's seen, as well as an excuse to get out of talking to others. He doesn't spend much time on one particular subject because it means he'll be able to make a quick getaway if someone else invades his current quiet place.
…this ended up longer than I thought it would. :|
That is how I imagined it working for him. I am the same way when I sketch/brainstorm, using small snippets or a very quick assemblage of lines that I can later embelish on.
Also, I very much like Tyhjä as a character so far as well as his interaction with Alai.
That characterization comes across quite well in the story, art as defense/escape mechanism. It fits very well with the rest of the cast, as the whole exchange team seems to have one sort of borderline personality disorder or another.
It's just that Tyhja is supposed to have spent years on end training as an artist, seemingly to the exclusion of all else, even his napkin doodles would have a certain level of polish and technical proficiency. I have unfortunately frequent dealings with people trying to communicate their imagination to me in quick and dirty sketches, and there are elements that every trained artist uses without even realizing they are doing it. Even a ten second sketch of a T-rex on the back of a menu gets depth, shading, a logical shadow, etc.
Ah, I see. Would you mind linking me to a few examples of what you'd be looking for, then?
I was trying to go for a distracted sort of feel for the sketches (because unless Tyhjä knows for sure he's alone, whether that security is provided by a locked room or giant predatory toothy birds keeping others away, he's apt to be looking over his shoulder or listening for anyone approaching when he draws) but if attempting to do so detracts from the believability of the images, then I'd love to have some examples to look over so I can update the images accordingly.
That being said, someone did mention to me that Antarctic standards may just be different. :P
I guess I should at least try and be constructive, huh?
Unfortunately, I can't draw worth a bent nickle (not counting technical drafting).
I'll see if I have any of those client examples I mentioned laying around when I get to the shop. They would at least give a better idea of what I mean, although I don't think any of them would be directly useable in this story.
I'll have to think on that different standards thing. Some art cultures IRL didn't use perspective, shading, what-not. Ancient Egypt jumps to mind. Who's to say that isn't the case in the Empire? hmmmm…
Haha, nah, you could've just given me a picture you found off of Google that has the qualities you were looking for (you mentioned depth, shading, and shadow). If all else fails I can try touching up the current images and uploading better quality versions; I did rush a little to get the piece up for the contest before midterms smacked me in the face.
As such, I really do appreciate your taking the time to leave detailed comments. :3
derp, there I go overlooking the easy way again.
But, y'know what? I take it all back anyway. Because the more I think about the different syles angle, the more it appeals to me. Antartica has a rigid, structured culture rooted in a genetically defined caste system. It only makes sense that the other aspects of their culture, such as art, would be similarly rigid and structured. Instead of focusing on realism (or deliberate rejection thereof) like our art tends to, their artists would be centered on making sure that it met all the technical rules of the approved and traditional style, whatever those might be. Making the picture look like what it is a picture of would be a secondary consideration, if that.
Don't need to thank me, I get almost as much entertainment out of commentary and trying to think up new wrinkles as I do out of reading in the first place.
I'm just butting in here, but I'm imagining that a good example would be quick and simple things that nonetheless communicate fundamental structure and motion, like
http://i.imgur.com/h0ERBfk.jpg
or
http://i.imgur.com/Ae0OxCF.jpg
or even something more haphazard like
http://i.imgur.com/dBg5KhL.jpg
There's a confidence in the lines, the geometry and imagery of that. The drawings seen in here seem… well, not to be insulting, but childlike. Like someone who's not really familiar with drawing. Someone who's an artist, even an alien one, would be able to throw off basic curves and ovals and line up parallels as a second nature, where in the sketches in the piece they're wobbly and off.
There's plenty of examples out there of explorers sketches and journals from the age of exploration which are probably good along these lines.
If it bothers enough people, I can try posting better versions when I have the time (perhaps better picture quality too; these sketches were pretty rushed since I was trying to get the piece up in time for the contest).
As such, thanks a lot for the examples, they help a lot. When I did the sketches, I really didn't have much to reference.
