Okay, so all of the chats helped me with this, but mostly Wanderer's Library. I realize this is really out there so… hope you enjoy it.
Date: 14 Feb 2013 06:33
Number of posts: 37
RSS: New posts
No vote and now I'm going to sleep. I prolly missed some stuff but I need to wake up tomorrow.
Interesting. I feel like there's one or two fairies puppeteering the whole operation. The Foundation didn't kill them, it just broke down the operation and made them retreat back to the fairy realm.
A couple questions: Why did the first D-class die? Why not just leave the building? Secondly, why aren't there way more host bodies (please give some name for these, it got confusing at points), given that even an ant is enough to trigger this?
I'll drop this here too. It just feels like there's too much going on. It feels like a whole lot fo stuff tacked on, and expanded, where if you had just focused more on the core concept, it woulda been fantastic. I would have liked this more if it was played straighter.
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I wish I could do this&that SCPS were you could view two different versions… it doesn't look like I'm gonna have to rewrite this. That was actually my intention before I felt I needed a stronger hook.
Then again, if you only read it to so far, technically it is a played straight Wild Hunt SCP. *shrugs*
similar in appearance to that of Spanish moss Tillandsia
This bothered me a bit. I think it would flow better if it were either "whose appearance is similar to that of Spanish moss etc." or "similar in appearance to Spanish moss etc."
Also, I was slightly confused as to what exactly "SCP-1826" referred to. The containment procedures seem to imply that it is the actual building, whereas the description itself uses it to designate either the phenomenon as a whole or the entity possessing those who enter the building during the month of March.
Edit: Upon rereading, this sentence also jumped up at me:
No anomalous properties were present in the gun, and is of modern manufacture with the serial number 196001430, which trace back to a resident of Belarus believed to have gone missing in the area in 2005.
"Is" has no grammatical subject (it's fairly obvious you're referring to the gun, but the construction is rather jarring), and "trace" should probably be "traces" since "the serial number" is singular.
Final edit, I swear: Can one really be armed with a gas mask? Wouldn't something like "equipped" be more appropriate?
As Heat said, I also was not clear on the specific thing that "SCP-1826" refers to. Other than that nitpick, I enjoyed it both as just a "Wild Hunt" SCP and as the real meaning once you read the extras.