After lurking for months, I had to try my hand, unfortunately for you poor bastards. Any criticism will be appreciated. It IS my first, after all.
Thanks for allowing me into your ranks!
After lurking for months, I had to try my hand, unfortunately for you poor bastards. Any criticism will be appreciated. It IS my first, after all.
Thanks for allowing me into your ranks!
It works for me. Nice, simple and interesting.
Neat concept, Upvote.
Once in this state, SCP-1850 will consume the pilot through [DATA EXPUNGED].
There is absolutely no reason to expunge this.
Also, the concept is pretty similar to SCP-127.
Holy shit, I forgot that gun. It even shoots teeth… Well, I guess I'll have to change that. Would redacted make more sense, or simply filling it in?
Filling it in would make much more sense. The Foundation isn't looking to make it's records PG-13, so the precise way in which the plane eats pilots would probably be described in as much detail as is necessary. You might want to read Zen And The Art of [DATA-EXPUNGED], it will clarify a lot about expungment, redaction, and blackboxes.
It appearance is typical of it's model
When on the ground, SCP-1850 is in it's "dormant" state
It's tail and wing are also seen to be mobile
due to the risk of damaging SCP-1850 beyond it's healing capabilities
the picture doesn't exactly look… biological.
at all.
The idea WAS to have in look identical to a regular plane, just like 127 as pointed out above. If you can find a picture of a Sopwith Triplane that looks biological, please let me know.
Okay, your idea is workable, but it isn't exactly stellar. The idea of a suposedly mechanical construct turning out to be alive is too overused to carry the article.
There's also a few glaring problems with your presentation, such as the expungement mentioned above. Expunging someone to death is almost always a bad idea,
so you should really fill it in. But for the most part, your main issue is going to be that, even when you fix these things, your idea is a tad lacklustre, and you haven't presented a compelling 'hook' or an interesting angle on the type of object you have here.
One facet of this that you've worked in, but which I'd recommend expanding on, is the form this things has taken. You've picked a very distinctive and very old type of vehicle for this thing to resemble. Expand on this. Why the hell would someone build this thing? If it wasn't built, how sidi it come to be? If you can answer that question and present the answer in a compelling way, you might just have my upvote.
Give this the DNA of a known avian predator - an eagle or some such. Or maybe a falcon. One of the semi-tameable species.
And make it senescent. It's very old (back when it was [REDACTED] from an ordinary bird into an airplane, this type of plane was common!), and it needs to eat regularly. Don't feed it humans, just dump a hundred pounds of raw chicken in the cockpit, and then stand back (be VERY careful to not let the door snap off your fingers). If we don't let it out to fly at least twice a week, it batters itself against its hangar and could possibly damage itself, so we let it out under close supervision. It doesn't go far, it tries to shoot at things but its "ammunition" isn't very good consistency, etc etc.
It's showing signs of arthritis, so its food is being spiked with glucosamine and other meds. We can examine its insides if we tranquilize it beforehand, but it's still twitchy, and can sometimes bite.
We're damn lucky the thing doesn't seem to have
sexually imprinted on humans.
EDIT: okay, can I do a rewrite on this, can I can I?
… I read all this as you patronizing the author, in a kind way…
… by the middle you were getting into the idea…
… by the end you were mostly talking to yourself, pondering details, then a kiddy 'can I can I?' XD
That's how I felt when I read it, too. However, I like his idea more than mine, so it's hard to call him on it. I try really hard not to see the negative side, so I decided to take it as a compliment that I inspired such…enthusiasm.
For the record, Voct has said that he can have it done by this time Friday. If it is not posted by then, I will allow staff to begin a deletion vote.
Art blog | Personal/political blog | I'm un-retired from the SCP community. Go check out Regicide, my Homestuck fanfic, too. | Death to America.
I honestly really like this, but does the plane get sick, or age, or anything that could happen with animals? There are so many ways that you could take this. I'm upvoting in good faith, though.
This is not badly written per se, but it is basically just a plane version of SCP-127, as mentioned above. Withholding an upvote or downvote for now.
Well since the SCP is biological, aka a living organism. My problems with it is that you're saying that what it has are "like" organic components but that they're actually not.
Also backing what the other people are saying about the potential that this could have for aging and being diseased, while we might not have a functional living plane we certainly could have one that used to be functional but its pilot was drugged and this caused the SCP to have an engine-arrest or something.
This last one might just be a personal thing since I don't know how widely it is frowned upon, but you sign the note with a blatant self insert.
I wanted to say, It was not a shameless self-insertion. It's just a safe-class object, so using an O5 seems overkill, and a more well known doctor's name is something I'm not comfortable using yet. Plus, a black boxed name seems like unnecessary censorship for a safe-class object, so I used my name. Does that seem justified? What would you have done?
Dr. Smith? Some other random name/personal info?