The concept is simple. It's a magician's hat that's actually "magic"…but with a dangerous obsession to putting on a show.
In its current state, it's far from being published on the main site, but I want a few eyes on the rought draft to help me make the execution interesting, if not chilling.
These are the questions I currently have:
- What grammar problems do I have to fix? Are the sentences too long? How can I adjust the style to make it more consistent with the main site?
- Are the parameters for the "show" reasonable? How should I refer to the magic show?
- Is the hat too powerful?
- Is its origins intriguing?
- Lastly, is it acceptable for such an object to have an unknown cause? It's most likely not true magic, but it comes off as such out of context.
- Is the addendum too cheesy? Is the final note too informal?
EDIT: Since the original date of posting, this has been converted into a general thread for my drafts. It was an easy fix.