Here you go. Under "SMOKING KILLS". Please be honest in your feedback! I am always open to criticism, considering this is my first try at an SCP draft of any kind.
Maybe remove the addendum and add the range into the description. Also black box the RA's name and 2009. I also think the huge two minute mark should have a bit more than just "Kill and [REDACTED]". How about mutilate them in an attempt to remove their lungs and clean them or something?
with the code to the locker being available to any personnel with a Level 2-clearance or higher as directed by Research Assistant Green.
Why is a Research Assistant directing anything like this?
Do you also have a Security Officer Red helping Researcher Brown with research tasks?
standard commercial paper.
There's better ways to classify paper - look at Wikipedia
continuing to bombard Subject One with expletives.
This is not clinical tone
Most severe and final “evolution” of exposure;
This isn't either.
Subject Two will begin to use the environment itself in an attempt to kill and [REDACTED] Subject One.
I have no idea what that means. Will he pick up a chair and bludgeon them to death?
Also, Subject One and Subject Two is kinda dumb. SCP-XYZ-1 and SCP-XYZ-2 would work better.
The addendum is pretty much pure lolfoundation, of the kind that even I dislike.
Overall, the item is …not really interesting. There's a hint of something with both people acting out a script, but then, we have Scripted Nightclub which I think does it better.