My thanks, again, to CryogenChaos. He offered me a more suitable idea to a scip I was working on in the forum, and all progress (and subsequent error) from there is mine.
I'd like to add a paragraph to the body about its effect on other liquids, in case this comes up. I've already posted this thread, though, so I'll try to change as little of the rest of the draft as possible (so all critique stays relevant).
I just added some stuff to the description, and re-proofread.