- Clothing would be a lot more varied than just different degrees of not wearing things. I know you're going to remove the classroom log in favor of excerpts from recovered materials, but the bit about the professor being attired normally minus pants is not terribly believable. People would still wear clothes, they'd just be easier to either get off or move so as to make sexual activity possible. Fashion would likely change to reflect this: chaps, codpieces, kilts all becoming more popular for men for example. Or loincloths. Or parasols + very little clothing. Full on nudity would also be more common in temperate climates, given that it's already permissible (though controversial) in some major cities. Use your imagination, but remember that people wear clothes to protect themselves from the elements as much as modesty. It might be amusing to hear what sorts of pervy adjustments have been made to winter wear, for example.
- Also with regards to the going-to-be-removed classroom bit, but still possibly relevant: students sitting two to a desk is a little silly as well. Sexual activity should be commonplace but people still need to FUNCTION. An orgy at a traffic jam? Alright, I buy it since people aren't doing anything but waiting. An orgy at school during class? They're theoretically there to learn (though I note that you picked a Community College, so fair play). The whole premise of this is that society continued on in a surprisingly parallel development. Maybe instead of a "smoke break" it's a "fuck break", and maybe the boss's secretary gives him a cup of tea and a blowjob while he works, but make sure that people understand that work still gets done.
- The bit about "hermaphroditic features" either should be dropped or explained a bit more. I gather it's because the "gods" are tinkering with the human genome, but that was a rather large leap on my part. You might incorporate it into the explanation you're thinking of adding for why their medicines won't work over here.
- With regards to The Choir and the guy talking about his disappeared wife, if he thinks he has to explain what "marriage" is to the agent then he's not going to assume they understand what "divorce" is either. Also, how can you divorce someone if marriage doesn't exist? Might be better to explain that another way.
- Also as a bit of a perv in RL, there are some logistical considerations that would be in place throughout this world if sex was this common. For one thing, picture anywhere you might normally find hand sanitizer, then add a dispenser for wetwipes, paper towels, and lotion. Also the hand sanitizer wouldn't just be for hands. Second, fabric towels of varying sizes would be carried by most people and sold goddamn EVERYWHERE, because just when you think you're clean you aren't (especially if lube is involved), not to mention you can use a towel as a makeshift bedspread, blanket, floor padding… you get the idea.
- While avoiding the temptation to let the article spiral into a showcase of fetishes, you should probably mention that they exist and are practiced (unless they AREN'T, which would be notable in itself). It doesn't need to be detailed, but something as simple as mentioning that "fetishwear is uncommon but acceptable for daily attire in many parts of the world" would do the job.
- While MTF Lambda-5 ("White Rabbits") are a fine fit here, MTF Lambda-12 ("kinkshamers") would also be viable for secondary inclusion, especially with the implication of the final interview log. If nothing else mentioning that they are to be involved in containment should one of the "gods" try to breech containment would make a lot of sense.
- EDIT: If you do make mention of fetishwear (or "paraphilic clothing" if you want to get all sciency), you may also want to mention whether or not there is any greater (or lesser) occurrence of fetishistic sexual activity and/or fetishistic interests among the population. I could see arguments being made for any of those being the case, though I'd present it with some exceedingly dry language, possibly some that mentions the phrase "standard deviation" if you feel like being a punny bastard.
- EDIT: With regards to the professor wearing everything but pants, there is a phenomenon at Burning Man (an event you might research for examples of more "free form" clothing choices) called "Shirtcocking" which is not regarded fondly. For a bit of a real-world parallel you could mention that while many otherwise outlandish and erotic fashion choices are generally accepted, "shirtcocking" is frowned upon.