Let me start with this: I stalked people’s sandboxes prior to the opening of the contest in excitement, and yours was one of them. I remember reading what was there of the draft (a paragraph or two into the description) and thinking “wow this is genuinely clever meta”. I’ve only so far thought that of Ihp’s Proposal and SCP-3309. Several times during the course of the posting period, I asked “where is that one entry and why isn’t it posted?” So I am real glad you posted this and was really happy when I identified this as that draft I had previewed.
My above comments on the Pataphysics Department do not completely apply to this article because, despite being self-centered, this one is also highly educational. You have put a lot of work into cataloging the actual history of this site and I for one really appreciate that. There may be no better place to grasp a quick synopsis of an insider’s take on the site, and for that (and because it really fits in well with the 4K contest theme) I want this to have an upvote and claim a healthy spot in Series V. The meta here even includes the pataphysics department itself, which aside from being very impressive, is done tactfully (Selected Iteration 3).
However, I teetered between an upvote and a novote throughout the read. I’m going to list these pivot points below. This is not something I usually do for published articles, but I'm doing it here because I want to see this article at its best.
The color choices in text clash with the beauty of the Pataphysics CSS imo. There have to be some more aesthetic choices there. If I had to make a recommendation, it'd be #BDB76B instead of orange. For that matter, I'm not sure another color (green) is necessary; Enkidu could simply use her own text color to highlight changes in the iterations for the reader.
A marked increase in campiness accompanies this shift.
I wasn't around for this in the site's history, so I may be missing something, but "campiness" is an incredibly poor word choice imo, especially considering the pejorative connotation. Something like "impropriety", "immodesty", or "inelegance" would do fine.
I'm glad to see that the Foundation is eventually attempting to censor the PAC site and remove it from the internet. I just disapprove of it taking them 13 years and the identification Escapist events to realize this is a good move. While I initially thought "the widespread shock of learning of the existence of the Foundation will be reduced due to familiarity" approach was really novel and enjoyable, it doesn't hold water given the concerns that result from allowing, and even popularizing, something that so closely resembles the inter workings of the Foundation, highly classified data included. They would be really doing nothing but encouraging the dreaded LV-Class Lifted Veil Scenario they wish to avoid.
Foundation agents in major search engines
IN the search engines? The grammar of this is horror-inspiring…that's enough for a new SCP premise right there. In seriousness though, this needs to be reworded a bit. "employed by" would be my suggestion.
Penknife.aic, an artificial intelligence construct calibrated to have no interest in fiction and no ability to suspend disbelief for the sake of consuming fiction,
This description may do better as a footnote.
47 Mobile Task Forces currently
While I appreciate the priority the Foundation is placing on this SCP, this is a gratuitous use of resources that stretches and tears my suspension of disbelief.
While the introduction of Escapist events adds another layer of delightful meta-play, it is a bit too convoluted and lengthy imo. Simplifying both the concept and its presentation would do the article good I believe.
The winner parallels [NARRATIVIC HAZARD REDACTED].
Very clever. (Are you going to change this now that the contest is decided?)
The moment in Iteration 3 where the PAC equivalent of this very article is referenced and in Iteration 4 when the PAC becomes the SCP Foundation, it becomes too convoluted and masturbatory imo. The dialogue leading up to the "naming" of the SCP Foundation is very unnatural and forced; probably inescapably so due to the convoluted nature of the layers.