Kittens! I have two, three dozens here, $2 each, for every four you buy you get one for free. They're very cute, love to play, and can be fed almost anything. It is important to have a pet. True, you can buy pets everywhere, but none of them will love you as much as my kittens here.
Next, I have a statue of a snake. You're afraid of death, aren't you? Everyone is, some just won't admit it. Ever thought of becoming immortal? This neat thing here have you covered. Complete and utter immortality. Guaranteed to survive stabbing, poisoning, drowning, what have you. And you don't even have to worry about activating it or forgetting it at home, everything's already covered. $200 for this beauty. That price doesn't do it justice, I know, but I'm in a hurry, so use your chance. Add another 15 bucks and I'll throw a warranty into the deal. How long's the warranty for? Lifetime, of course.
And last but not least, I present you this marvelous device. Finest craftsmanship, a thing beyond the sharpest edge of science. Half of the research put in the construction of this apparatus have been deemed illegal in four centuries and eleven countries. The other half was never conducted in the first place. It doesn't actually work, as far as I can tell. But you can use it as a decoration for your living room that all your geeky friends would appreciate. Or you can always troll temporal physicists with it. Your call. Buy this marvel of technology right now for only $39.9999997422, and it will have had arrived to the location of your choosing three to five years ago.
