Thanks for all the feedback in the forum! Looking forward to my first attempt at mainlisting an SCP.
Date: 05 Nov 2013 20:07
Number of posts: 67
RSS: New posts
I really don't like bringing my SCPs when it comes to similarities, but this does somewhat resembles SCP-1915, mostly when it comes to a man who changes reality around him but doesn't notice it and isn't aware he is contained. The event logs I also found a bit similar.
I have to admit to a certain curiosity as to who counted him jumping over sixty thousand times. Whoever that poor bastard was, he probably deserves some form of bonus.
Anyway, no vote for me. I really like the idea, but I feel the execution is still lacking. I still kind of want the horror of the guy to be played up more, but that might be personal preference.
I imagined they got the jumping event on camera, or just his total height and then divided.
I thought about the horror angle for a long time. There is even an attempted interview log on my sandbox. I felt he was coming across too… regular, however, and if I had gone full random, it would have been too silly. ("How many fingers am I holding up?" "OCTAGONS ARE STERILE. I LIKE MOTHS.")
If this fails, I may try again with more focus on seeing the horror of things from his side.
I'll give you an upvote on the basis that The Matrix glitching makes me smirk. I do think you need to iron out a few wrinkles. The containment procedures don't actually seem necessary for the containment of this scip for example.
I originally had it such that there were no containment procedures beyond "bring him back to his cell." They just let him glitch around doing whatever, and kept bringing him back to his cell. He's not too dangerous, after all. Then I realized that this is the sCp, and they would keep trying to contain him until they found SOMETHING that finally works. Most of the time.
Additionally, as this is my first, I appreciate any and all specific details or "wrinkles" you care to point out.
Is this supposed to be interpreted as a glitch in reality, or am I just missing something? Well, regardless I still like it. +1.
I approve of the noncompatabilityness.
That's a new word starting now.
Also secret video footage of the scip in action oh mah god containment breaaaaach http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AemxS2Xtbo8
Thanks for that! Last night my wife and I were cracking up watching that video.
Reality is a computer program, and this guy is bugged. I like it.
There's still a few typos and its/it's confusion to look out for, though.
+1. Hehe, I steal your post format.
Its a nice idea, and I think the concept and the logs carry this enough to be an amusing (if pity-evoking) read.
I don't understand a few parts of the containment procedures—what's the point of suspending the enclosure? Why do we bother keeping the SCP under the delusion that it is still employed by Lockheed Martin? As for the content itself, the take on something that's glitched out of reality is just…eh, it's been done enough in mainstream media to not be especially original or interesting to me. And without the glitch (which is basically hammered into you with that last note), it's just a bunch of weird stuff happening to some dude.
So, for me this just barely crosses the threshold from neutral into dv territory.
There are a few issues.
SCP-1924 exhibits extreme cognitive dysfunction: it does not demonstrate understanding that it is contained, it does not notice anything unusual during spatial distortions, and it suffers from extreme anterograde amnesia, being unable to recall most events beyond a two-hour time frame.
Firstly, the colon I feel would functional better as a semi. Secondly, this is a lot of information packed into one sentence. I feel that it would be less convoluted when the mention of amnesia be in a second sentence.
Its body was suspended in the air, with its arms and legs flailing wildly in an erratic, elastic fashion.
This is a bit vague and I'm unsure what exactly is going on here. Clarity would help.
SCP-1924 then jumped straight up in the air .31 meters
I think this phrase needs some work.
Overall it's pretty neat. Nothing up my alley though, so I can't upvote with any real interest, but I'll admit it's neat.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
Thanks for the critique! I made several of the changes you suggested. I couldn't really think of a better way to phrase "straight up in the air," though, and I would appreciate suggestions. Perhaps adding the word "hovering?"
Anyways, I'm sorry this wasn't up your alley, but I'm glad you found it neat enough to help out.
"Phony" doesn't really seem clinical enough. Apart from that, I liked it, but didn't really /get/ it until I read your comments. But I didn't read that last addendum that thoroughly. I gave it a +1, because evn without really getting it it was a good article.
Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate the critique. In this case, though, I think I am going to keep the word "phony." I like the word and I think it fits what I am trying to get across. If you have a better synonym in mind, I'm all ears.