I've got a 2000 attempt written up in the last tab.
I may need to apologize in advance for the length. I may have poured a little too much into it. I already tried to go through it and comb out any glaring issues, but since this is actually my first swing at pitching an SCP, I don't have much confidence that I got it exactly right.
As you may have noticed, I was going with something of a "sci-fi conspiracy theory" angle. I hope I did it well enough.