SCP-XXXX appears to be a solid white carving of a human heart purchased from ████████ Curiosity shop in ██████, Baltimore by off-duty SCP field agent ████ █████████ who was embedded in the local police force.
-What the object looks like can probably be confirmed by using D-Class to look at the item, or by looking at photographs if the effect is only through direct observation. You may want to omit "appears to be" and replace it with "is".
SCP-XXXX was discovered by foundation assets 14 hours later when the agent began raving about classified foundation information over police radio, particularly about SCP-███ and SCP-████, both of which she had helped contain.
-Try to avoid using pronouns like she when using a clinical tone. Try using "subject" instead.
-Quick edit for tone and flow:
SCP-XXXX was discovered by foundation assets 14 hours later when ████ █████████ began raving about classified information over police radio, particularly about SCP-███ and SCP-████, both of which the subject had assisted in containing.
Communications were intercepted just 6 minutes after they began. Investigations into individuals who had potentially heard the broadcast resulted in █ terminations.
-Why termination and not amnestics? Is information divulged by individuals under the effect of SCP-XXXX not able to be forgotten?
-Consider ommitting "just" from the first sentence. It seems to flow better without it.
Line-of-sight exposure to SCP-XXXX results in the manifestation of 'pumping' noises, appearing to originate from within SCP-XXXX, consistent with those made by a human heart beating at ██ BPM.
-Do you have to directly observe the item, or do photos and/or depictions of it carry the same effect?
-Why is the BPM redacted? It just seems odd to me.
Though the noise cannot be measured electronically and is thought to be a memetically generated effect, it's sound cannot penetrate material that would inhibit natural sound, and can only be heard by the viewer.
-This is confusing to me. So do persons under the effect percieve the sound as being dampened? If they can't hear the sound, does the effect disappear? This could give the reason as to why noise cancelling equipment is needed.
-Edit for clarity: This effect cannot be measured and is thought to be an auditory hallucination experienced by persons under SCP-XXXX's effect. When sound-cancelling materials are utilized, effected individuals will perceive the noise as being silenced or dampened.
X-ray analysis shows the object is partially hollow, further testing reveals the inside of SCP-XXXX resembles the internals of a human heart with striking precision thought impossible for a non-anomalous object of this age.
-The wording here is really confusing. Edit for clarity:
X-ray analysis revealed the object to be partially hollow. Further testing indicated anatomical precision generally considered impossible for an object of its time period.
Paranoia and general unrest have been observed to grow in any test subject in the same space as the beating heart, with several reports of empathic feelings of judgement, guilt, and dread among personal with the highest ranked time with SCP-XXXX.
-There's a few issues with tone here and the wording is confusing. Example edit:
Paranoia and general unrest has been observed to manifest in any test subject in the proximity of SCP-XXXX. Personnel who spend large amounts of time in the vicinity of SCP-XXXX report heightened feelings of guilt and dread.
After a minimum threshold of ██ hours in this state, all class D personal have been observed to confess any and all crimes they have committed, according to their own moral compass as consistent with their psychological evaluations, beg for their release.
-Again, the wording here is confusing. In what state? I would also omit "beg for their release" since it doesn't really fit here.
-After the minumum threshold of ██ hours under SCP-XXXX's effect, subjects will begin to confess to any real or perceived crimes they have committed.
