I'm a bad man…
Now, this one got a lot of laughs from me, primarily because of the wordplay in the title.
And the mental image of a fat, balding man barking like a small dog. And Doctor Gears standing by, laughing maniacally.
Props.
Document 3467-03: In accordance with SCP protocols associated with this item, the following record of Special Containment Procedures carried out by Dr.Gears is submitted.
This line, followed by a prank straight out of high school. Golden.
If "exposing somebody to a gargantuan reptile monster" is a prank straight out of high school, then God damn I can't wait to graduate.
Apparently you had a rather dull, disapointing high school experience. Back in my day, we had to walk 15 miles to get to school, and we had 15 pranks a day that would make this look like butterscotch. Hmmm. butterscotch…
that's nothing, when i was in high school, i was part of a prank involving: ducks, a Nintendo 64 controller, a playstation 1, a playstation 1 dualshock controller, final fantasy disc 2, the spawn of satin, 27 nuclear warheads, and a kazoo.
I thought at first it was talking about a giant chicken that ate people.
I could actually see this existing in-universe as part of the staffs blowing off steam.
When I first started reading, I figured there was going to be a notice at the end that said he had been neutralized by self-termination. That would have probably brought the scip over the line, though.