Locking this thread as another exists for the work in progress. Reviewers, please comment here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-7743854/please-critique-my-scp-scp-4297
As noted in the draft forum guidelines: authors, please do not create multiple threads for the same working draft. Using one thread helps keep spam down, and prevents flooding of the forums with repeat threads. Furthermore, it helps reviewers a lot if all corresponding feedback is kept in one place for efficiency of reference and discussion.
If you're having trouble getting further replies on a thread, you can go to the IRC chatroom and ask people there if they can reply to the forum thread, or message a staff member and ask them if they can direct chat attention to the thread.
Also, as a general note:
it keeps getting downvoted even after several revisions and followings guides.
Reviewers will be more inclined to believe that you've followed guides if you use the proper formatting for the bolded headings.
Furthermore, I suggest reading over this essay on common SCP pitfalls to get an idea of what elements to avoid putting in an SCP article, as well as the the humanoid writing guide if you haven't yet.
Also, for something like this, I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you develop the idea into more than the typical wolf-man thing that we see variations of deleted from the site almost every week. It's a very common idea, so attempting it will require a fair bit of time and effort. Best case scenario is to smooth out the core concept before starting the drafting process.
