SCP Foundation

The SCP is here
I intend to add more information like the actual effects of the SCP.
The XXXX is just placeholders for an identification number

So… this is a fairly generic "powered-up monster" formula SCP. Typically they do very poorly on the site, since the audience sees tons of these get posted and they get repetitive and boring after awhile.

You have way too many powers attached to this thing, most of which aren't really related to each other or connected by any sort of narrative or thematic consistency:

• object is sentient
• capable of telepathically controlling anything it can see within a 500 m radius
• attempts to remove or conceal the eyes have failed
• can alter how humans feel about the item and will become attached to it.
• after being exposed to SCP-XXXX for more than 12 hours, subjects have an overwhelming urge to protect SCP-XXXX at all costs

There's also a lot of general errors, like lack of proper capitalization, and lots of unscientific material (titanium wouldn't be helpful here, and having this thing be put at the bottom of a facility could cause a lot of issues if it started messing with the pipes/plumbing and whatnot with its "telepathic control".

I suggest reading over this essay on common SCP pitfalls to get an idea of what elements to avoid putting in an SCP article.

Also, take a look at the articles tagged with "compulsion". Generally, an SCP object's effect forcing someone to do something tends to be a bit of a lame narrative, since things are more interesting if there's a struggle involved, and/or if the people instead do terrible things of their own volition rather than just because the author needs them to for the story to work. Consider reading through the further discussion on the narrative issues of compulsion and addiction effects.

Additionally, your containment procedures are kind of random and seem unnecessarily specific for reasons not apparently related to the object itself. I recommend reading this guide on containment to get a feel for how to write more logical, resource-conserving procedures. You really don't need the bullet-point list, and the bolding is unnecessary, as is the "24/7" mention (unless otherwise stated, it can be assumed that containment procedures are always in place).

Unfortunately, as it is, this is pretty fundamentally unworkable as an SCP article.

I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you make the idea more likely to do well on the site.

I'm making it a joke SCP.