This is brilliant, why is it in negatives?
Also, what's the skip here?
This is brilliant, why is it in negatives?
Also, what's the skip here?
Ooh, makes me think of Hannibal Lecter.
"As your mother tells you, and my mother certainly told me, it is important, she always used to say, always to try new things."
hrm.
…neutral voting this. lol nevermind it's an upvote. I'm a huge fan of the presentation of the woman and her ritualized consumption of emotions and not a huge fan of the vignettes that intersperse the main story. The first vignette starts out okay, I read the second one thinking "this is silly" and am pleasantly surprised that the woman (who is the best part of this story) agrees with me, but the third and fourth ones come off as rather contrived. I don't particularly like it when characters slide into violent insanity for extraordinarily unrealistic reasons. This reads like a slightly modified caricature of the "yandere" trope.
…ah, fuck it, i'm upvoting, the body of the tale is too good not to, especially considering the source material. The innovation off the original article is pretty impressive.
I agree with Chubert here, the vignettes are the weakest part, but not bad by any means. Very interesting take on the original article; some hint of inclusion about biomatter influencing the visions would be good in there. Maybe get permission to add it?
I could have done with stronger writing in the vignettes, as others have mentioned, but then I figured that from a logical standpoint, not everyone is going to have an interesting story to relate, and that the real focus of the tale is elsewhere.
I do think that this is a very imaginative and clever take on the original SCP article, and I like how the person in the tale isn't so much sinister as just plain weird. Upvoted, as I think this is a very strong example of what the contest is about.
There's not enough here to grab me. I do like it as a character sketch — sorta. Specifically, I liked all the parts that weren't in quote boxes. But the majority of the piece are the vignettes.
I know it's logical that they're not necessarily interesting, but that just means that more is needed to make the story work IMO. No vote.
I like the story, but the SCiP it's based on is gone, along with my context! No vote.