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Okay, for this I wanted to do something experimental. Here's the link: http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/green
First tab, let me know what you think, I'll accept any criticisms and/or advice.
[DATA CORRUPTED]
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» Writing Help / Help: Drafts Critique
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Summary:
Another SCP draft I made
I for one am sick and tired of the "boring/pointless/incoherent opening + real document in collapsible" formula, and even more sick and tired of "ooooh we dun know what it is ooooooh".
Then later, there is no actual article, just some filthy imperialist pig-dog measurements and SCREAMING FOR EMPHASIS.
Yeah I couldn't resist doing this, but really, it has been done before? Since when?
I'm still new here so what is this filthy imperialist pig-dog measurements you're talking about?
No actual article? I'm pretty sure its there, maybe you didn't look hard enough.
You can try digging through articles tagged with meta. Some close things are SCP-1504 (more so) and the more recent SCP-2950.
I'm a bit against the strong wording myself, but "filthy imperialist pig-dog measurements" refers to imperial measurements, in this case the "11ft" bit. Scientists, and thus the Foundation, use metric units. You've got other measurements in metric (4m x 4m x 4m), which is fine.
Readers shouldn't have to look harder for something like an actual article. If the article doesn't manage to get their attention on the first read through (admittedly, the slough of documents and the random floating REDACTED did throw me off too) then they're not obligated to read it again. I don't know how many people finish an article with the mentality "Hm, I didn't like it, clearly I missed something and I'm going to read it again to make sure".
That said, this might make a better tale than article. Just my perspective, though.
Experimentation is good. But most experiments fail - pretty much by definition.
Is there a definite difference between a skip that has the property of being undefinable…and a clerical error leading to the impression that there was once something uncategorised in a certain room…with attendant bureaucratic SNAFUs, buck-passing, and scapegoating?
Is this a shadow in the dark, or a comedy about penpushers trying to give each other the impression they're in control? it looks like the latter to me.
Is there a difference between the opening part of "…" and this:
Item #: [DATA CORRUPTED]
** Object Class:** [DATA CORRUPTED]
Special Containment Procedures: [DATA CORRUPTED] mindfuck [DATA CORRUPTED]
Description: [DATA CORRUPTED] paedophille [DATA CORRUPTED] idontknowwhat [DATA CORRUPTED] @yahwz.com
…?
/forum/t-834004/data-corrupted#post-
page revision: 3, last edited: 22 Sep 2018 03:57
