You can try digging through articles tagged with meta. Some close things are SCP-1504 (more so) and the more recent SCP-2950.
I'm a bit against the strong wording myself, but "filthy imperialist pig-dog measurements" refers to imperial measurements, in this case the "11ft" bit. Scientists, and thus the Foundation, use metric units. You've got other measurements in metric (4m x 4m x 4m), which is fine.
Readers shouldn't have to look harder for something like an actual article. If the article doesn't manage to get their attention on the first read through (admittedly, the slough of documents and the random floating REDACTED did throw me off too) then they're not obligated to read it again. I don't know how many people finish an article with the mentality "Hm, I didn't like it, clearly I missed something and I'm going to read it again to make sure".
That said, this might make a better tale than article. Just my perspective, though.