This is purple as hell. Heavy overuse of modifiers ("feverish sprint", "heavy, sullen air", "air seems thick, heavy almost, and dark, very dark", "easily imagined but impossibly opaque") and just generally seems like a biography of a random researcher who's about to die, who has very generic and occasionally peculiar regrets (never saw Grand Canyon, never told that girl she's pretty, never…ate that donut?) The whole thing is just generally super dramatically recounting things that he thought before he dies in what is, for the Foundation, also a pretty generic way (famous SCP broke containment). In particular:
My life seems very short to me now, two brief decades, two chapters in a book whose author ran out of ink on page 20. An unfinished manuscript, now destined to remain so forever.
Every part where he's regretting things sounds like this, with "researchers" substituted in for "greasers". This should give you some idea of how the entire tale reads.
Now, the base concept itself? That I can work with; a member of the Foundation reflecting on his last few moments, focusing on the futility of worrying about one's future when one has no future, preferably with a completely (though not cliche) abrupt ending. This execution, however, isn't doing it for me.
