SCP Foundation

20x10x20m (WidthxHeightxLenght) 

Add space between the numbers and also, remove those things in parenthesis because it's not even necessary and besides the spelling of Length is not even correct.

Tungsten (Approx. 10cm thick), 

Just tell them "Approximately 10 cm Tungsten" or along those lines. Get rid of the parentheses.

2 Airlock doors

Capitalization error. Airlock is supposed to be "airlock".

is to wear an SCBA Hazmat-Suit

The tone for this is a bit stiff. Probably: " Is to be issued with an SCBA Hazmat suit."

That's better.

SCP-XXXX & Variants

What?

SCP-XXXX is a designation not its name. And also, "variants" not Variants. Also, for the tone, you should have just wrote, "instances".

bacteroidetes

Should have written this on italics. And also, make it simpler. Not all readers here actually knew what this was.

(See headers)

What?

Please, for brevity, add this information to the Addendum.

SCP-XXXX & Variants […] effects & methods

I suggest using "and" instead of an ampersand "&".

Variations:

While it is possible and allowed to use different types of format, using Headers for this one isn't advisable.

SCP-XXXX-B […] -3

Just make an Addendum for all of this. I was having a hard time reading this, to be honest but nonetheless, I'm gonna read it.

SCP-XXXX-B is the fungi that 

Replace with "a". You're supposed to introduce an object first to the reader first with an "a" before you refer it with a "the".

specifically a Glomeromycota type

The word, Glomeromycota, is the only thing that should be in Italics.

SCP-XXXX-1/SCP-XXXX-2

What?

Put them in one Addendum as I have stated earlier.

foremost the most

I'm not a native speaker of the language and correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this also redundancy?

the least deadly. - SCP-

Get rid of the period and replace it with a comma "," . And also, what's with the dash after the period?

Symptoms:

Symptom #1:

Put this into an Addendum.

victims'

Victim's, or for tone, Subject's.

approx. 15m of first being infected

What?

"Approximately". Do NOT shorten words if you don't have any reason to do so. And I don't think I understand what you mean by "15m of first being infected"

dark-skinned individuals will usually take 25-30m at max, but times may vary for each skin color. (listed below)

As I have stated before, I am not a native speaker of English but I understand this paragraph as something like "It will take 25-30 meters at maximum for an individual to be infected." I don't think it make sense.

I would probably understand if it was written like, "It usually take 25-30 minutes for a dark skinned individual to be infected…etc etc" or something along those lines.

Pale/Very light - 10-15m from when first infected.

White/Fair - 15-20m from when first infected.

Medium white to light brown - 20-25m from when first infected.

Olive/Moderate brown - 25-30m from when first infected.

Brown/Dark Brown - 30-40m from when first infected.

I think you're trying to say here that distance from the skip affects the way how it infects an individual. You should probably rewrite this into something understandable.

usually takes place after 10-15m after the decolorization of the victims' skin 

So after 10-15 meters, the decolorization happens? Or if the individual was 10-15 meters near?

((or V.Dark to Black individuals it will usually take place after reaching HEX#56463A (RGB - 86, 70, 58))

What are these things?

I don't see the point of placing color hex codes into this article. And also, it doesn't make any sense. I've seen this in the following block of text.

(see SCP-XXXX-B)

Addendum.

on all parts of the body,usually congregating around the groin/armpits of the victim, 

place a space between "body,usually" and also, may I advice not using a slash "/" but instead use either "and" or "or".

HEX#2D1B1C to HEX#3A0003

No offense. The only thing that reads these were computers. How would I know if the color you're trying to describe were black? Or green? or red?

it is at this time that the victim will start to internally bleed in the individual's infected body parts,

I will state again that I am not a native speaker of the language and I may be missing something, but based from what I understand is that " a victim was inside an individual and starts to bleed inside of him."

It is now common that the victim will lose consciousness,

"it" because it goes after a comma, not a period. And also I may suggest adding, "from time to time" at the end of the sentence. Like:

It is now common that the individual will lose consciousness from time to time.

usually from the extreme amounts of body trauma/intense pain.

I think using, "Due to the" or "Because of the" might be useful.

SCP-XXXX-1 can mean many things

Like what?

the patient should now be fully unconscious, 

Get rid of the Italics and the Bold.

pay attention to the grid below 

"refer" and also, the "table" below this sentence is not a grid.

The table.

I don't understand what the table is trying to say except that it only displays various symptoms and such.

SCP-XXXX-2

Addendum.

SCP-XXXX-2 is the second variety

You mean second "type"?

SCP-XXXX variations

"Instances".

 it will most likely always kill the victim, 

Get rid of the bold. And also, just tell them that it's lethal.

if you think perhaps the victim is infected with SCP-XXXX-2 but the victim does not die, it would imply that the victim is actually infected with SCP-XXXX-3 (see SCP-XXXX-3 for info)

Umm what? I don't think I'd be able to contribute an advice to something I don't fully understand. So the whole thing affects an individual's thinking?

approx. 10m

So it will take approximately 10 meters to grow? And don't shorten words.

SCP-XXXX Variants

Instances.

it will take just 60m

So it needs to be 60 meters to grow 2.5 mg of the skip?

approx.15x7x10 (WidthxHeightxLength),

I've already stated this issue earlier. I don't think I need to state what needs to be done about this.

For full analyzations

Analyzation, I believe.

autherization teams

Why would it require the apporval of "autherization teams"? I don't think an authorization team would be even required for this. I would suggest using instead, "authorized personnel" instead of a team. Also, the spelling.

 SCP-XXXX-1 - came out alive.

This will be the final time that I will be pointing out this mistake for brevity. Please remove the hyphen.

Test #3

The Class-D is a classification to the expendable personnel of the Foundation. Refer the Class-D Personnel by their numbers.

Test #4

You referred the Class-D Personnel as simply Class-D. I tackled this problem above. Secondly, your usage of MTF. So in my own understanding, there were "two Mobile Task Forces" killed. That's a lot of casualties. I am not even sure if you're referring individual MTF operatives in this Test Log.

In addition:

D-4681 was misdiagnosed with SCP-XXXX-1 & being fine - as a matter of fact, was not okay.

I do not really understand this. I don't think I'd be able to contribute into something I don't understand to be honest and please remove the bold.

PLAYING LOG

Hello, this is Dr. ████ here with Agent ████ & D-3556, we are just opening the doors at the moment, they are quite finnicky to get working but nothing major.

The whole thing was kinda off. It breaks off with the clinical tone of the Foundation. And "finnicky"?

Ok, he's in there, now we just wait and see what happens.

Okay, like I said, the tone.

Audible moving of papers and writing, then a pause.

Rephrase.

Right, so I can see that… pause he seems to be growing the fungi -

In my own understanding, he was literally growing the fungi. Honestly and I mean no offense, I kinda imagine him providing heat to the fungi with his butt in order for it to grow like how Chickens incubate eggs with their bodies. Look, I mean no offense.

Sorry, I mean SCP-XXXX-B, D-3556 seems to be bleeding > from the mouth, hang on,
flicking of papers.
Okay, this should mean that, yes, he is actually infected with SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-B is turning red so, that should mean.

As I said before, the tone. The researchers here kinda ripped their professionalism away by stating their mistakes in the official transcripts of the logs.

He should be exterminated - pause - whilst in the containment - I'll call MTF.

Shouldn't they just call the Containment Specialist or guards or something similar? MTF is an elite task force. Surely, it wouldn't make sense to call the Marine Corps to arrest a thief. The MTF isn't really tied into one place (because they were Mobile) unless there's a reason for that.

And also, the misusage of MTF. So he's calling the entire Mobile Task Forces?

long pause before radio beeps

Now they're communicating through Morse Code?

Yes, I need an MTF Guard please.

Why is he replying in words if the guy is talking to him through Morse Code? Forgive me, I have trouble understanding.

And also, again, misusage of MTF. Mobile Task Forces were specialized in many roles. What is an MTF Guard? I do not recall the Foundation having an MTF guard. Maybe a security guard?

I'll explain it this way. Mobile Task Forces are the Foundation's soldiers. They were formed with the purpose of accomplishing a certain task, like say, exploration (where Zeta-9 was specialized for) or Nu-7 (Battalion-strength. Used for conflicts against GOIs) or Psi-7 (Used for structure based anomalies).

That being said, everyone can do the role of guarding anomalies. So, an "MTF Guard" isn't necessary for this. Unless there's a good reason, but in this article, there is none.

This is Dr. ████████ here with D-4681, he is currently in containment, and is - I think having symptoms of SCP-XXXX-1.

Put a comma in "is" and "think" and please remove the hyphen.

Flicking of pages

The decolorization of the skin, yes

In the way I understand it, the guy doesn't know how to do his job. He requires a manual guide to identify the symptoms of the D-Class personnel.

5m of pause

So, 5 meters of pause.

I think it would be useful, as I have stated earlier, if you could have just said, "5 minutes…"

The fungi is bleeding from the stem, I'm pretty sure that means he should be let go.

I don't understand what this really means. I suggest editing this.

Mumbling

No offense, the audio log is capable of picking up simple noises like the flipping of pages and such but the D-Class, I know he's infected but the radio only caught the sound of him mumbling? What's the point of having the Doctor understand him in the first place?

Audible walking off

in the background alright how was - noise of spore explosion - JESUS CHRIST!

This reminds me of the Flood in Halo.

WE NEED MTF NOW, QUICK, THERE'S A CONTAINMENT BREACH!

Again, why the use of MTF?

"WE NEED SECURITY NOW, QUICK, THERE'S A CONTAINMENT BREACH!" That's better in my opinion.

WHY IS THIS [DATA EXPUNGED] THING STILL ON!

END OF LOG

Because he forgot to turn it off. And also, no need to expunge curses.

All testing done with SCP-XXXX must have at-least 2 Doctors & 2 MTF,

"done" is to be replaced with "conducted" and remove the hyphen in "at-least" and the wrong usage of MTF. So two Mobile Task Forces were required for the testing of the skip?

Addendum #2

"New instance of SCP-XXXX-3…" is better.

Story-wise, I don't get anything out of it aside from it being a fungi SCP which was already made numerous times. A good example was SCP-008 (a Zombie virus) and SCP-020 (a fungi that grows out of walls).

This skip should contain a story that will stand out from the rest of fungi SCPs or virus SCPs, which clearly it doesn't have.

As I read this further, the skip only reminds of the Flood in the Halo Series (Parasitic Fungi, nest-like instances, exploding spores). I don't really see anything different about it. The Marines in the Halo series could kill those things easily when given with proper equipment. An MTF is an elite force issued with highly sophisticated weapons and gadgetry (because that's the FOUNDATION) and yet, based on the logs, two Mobile Task Forces were torn like papers.

Fungi SCPs interests me if it has gross things or weird random stuff thrown in it. I believe you can think of this on your own.

And also, the skip reminds me of an itchy skin disease like ringworm or Athlete's foot.

Try to socialize with the community and read more SCPs before attempting to write one so that you would be able to learn and have a grasp of the mainsite's clinical tone. Since the skip's theme is pretty much common, there's no salvageable idea in here.

Grammars, proper usage of terms and the use of Addendum is very important to an article. Also, the actions of the characters involved should also be logical within that story which also the draft article lacks.

I advice reading skips and tales and learn from the site vets. Site-19 chat was a good place to get advice and help from.