Thanks Zyn. The images have now been downsized - good call.
It's been a heck of a journey.
Yeah it started about three years ago when I was doing some ironing and I burnt myself. Pretty painful. And then I looked down at the iron and I saw this freaky alien face smiling up at me with its 27 eyes. I thought, if this little bastard isn't a scip I don't know what is.
The idea of the "brand loyalty" was a perfect fit, but I had no idea how to make the jump from alien iron to article. Then I read something about multi level marketing companies and "pyramid schemes" and how they're similar to cults (increasingly bizarre rituals, the shunning of loved ones, the idolisation of the heads etc) and it all came together. What better way of worshipping something than [REDACTED]?
The next two years were spent designing logos, trademarks and ultra-long backstories and interviews which ultimately got cut out (as you know initially there was an entire section about such wonders as male maternity hospitals and bizarre octopi/monkey/lamb creatures) - but even though they got cut, they were still massive fun to create. Maybe there'll be a follow up tale or sumfink…
ETA: The whole "male maternity hospital" thing is hinted at in the infomercial - "And, if you're an infertile human male: familial role repositioning!"