http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/kuzonfilms
Hello. This is my first…anything for the Wiki, so I am of course looking for feedback. More specifically, I'm looking for critique on 2 major issues.
Dialogue: I want to make the awkwardness and hurt believable, and I'm not sure if I'm doing that. I am also concerned about the interplay between the multiple personalities in the OC's head. There's also the issue of balancing the personalities' talk with the talk between 5198 and 507.
Revealing the backstory: Obviously, this tale is built to reveal more information about what happened between the 2 SCPs overtime. I won't say what the story is. If you are having difficulty piecing together what happened, then I need to work on that. On the other hand, if you feel that it's too obvious or the revealing can be done better, I'd love to know that too.
Obviously, there is no such thing as an SCP-5198. I put the idea up to the brainstorming forum, and it was recommended I turn it into a tale. So…here it is.
Thank you very much for your time, and I hope that you enjoy the tale.