SCP Foundation

Any critiques are welcome. If you have anything you want to say perosnally or want to contribute to the SCP add me on discord Kiko#1037

I moved your thread summary content to the first post and trimmed it above, OP, since it was taking up a lot of space on the forum listing. Try to keep thread descriptions under 7 lines so you don't visually crowd out other people's threads. ~Zyn

STAFF NOTICE: According to the Draft Forum Guidelines, please do not post your entire draft in the forums. Make a sandbox page, put your draft there, and link it from the current thread (do not make a new thread). An example of a basic draft forum post can be found in the Guidelines. More instructions on how to format an SCP page can be found in the How to Write an SCP Guide.

If the only copy of your draft is in this post, you can recover the text by clicking the 'Last edited on [dd/mm/yyyy], [time] by [username] Show more' section found in lower right corner of this post. Then click 'Show revision' to find the full draft from before. Copy that full draft and paste it into your sandbox page. Please note that 'Show revision' does not change the post back.

Author, you have a lot of simple writing mistakes here, including failing to put spaces after punctuation, extra words ("ancient ancient artisans"), non-metric measurements (meters only, no feet), overly casual phrasing, and excessively specific and unnecessary containment procedures.

Out of curiosity, what grade are you currently in at school? Most successful SCP authors have at least some college-level writing experience, since clinical tone is typically covered in college. If you haven’t encountered clinical tone or writing analytical essays in school yet, it can be hard to write an article that possesses the unique "flash fiction as written by a professional scientist" tone the site audience is looking for. If you tell us where you are academically, we can recommend some materials you can study up on, such as these college resources for clinical tone:
http://www.aje.com/en/arc/editing-tip-maintaining-formal-tone-scientific-writing/
http://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/tone
https://healthcare.utah.edu/brand-and-style-guide/writing-guide.php

At any rate, what you have here is pretty shaky conceptually as well. I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you make the idea more interesting and give you some advice on structuring the eventual article for smoothness of reading and narrative.