-Dr Benson
Allow me to preface this by saying that I tend to address the first instance of any recurring errors. To elaborate, if I see something off and it comes up again at a different point, I am less likely to comment on it a second time. Keep this in mind as we go further.
Now, let us begin.
Those who resist are to be terminated and a story of a storm explaining their death sent to the families.
Woah, this is intense. While this is a sound way of making sure information isn't leaked by word of mouth, I'm sure it is possible to disprove the presence of a storm. Maybe instead detain and memory condition them? Something less drastic.
Genetic testing has traced SCP-XXXX-1 instances to Eastern China, branching off from the early Tang Dynasty.
So if SCP-XXXX is the designation for the population as a whole, why is there a -1 designation? I may be missing something, but it doesn't seem distinct enough to warrant the -1.
They have unusual crystalline structures growing out from their skulls in different colors (green/blue/violet), patterns, and formations; each crystal color and pattern differing from person to person with no known ties to any observable phenotypes.
The semi-colon is unnecessary. Just use a comma or period.
SCP-XXXX-1 instances are a mild dangerous cognitohazard;
The strikethrough is irrelevant and minor. Since it doesn't come up later, I suggest removing it.
Each SCP-XXXX-1 has a unique personality, typically organized into the three main personality traits associated with each crystal (see Addendum 1) and they all serve a particular purpose within the community or their group.
The tone is a bit loose here. If I could make a suggestion: "Instances of SCP-XXXX share common behaviors and roles correlated with the color of their crystal structures (see Addendum 1)." Additionally, I suggest using bullet points for lists as opposed to hyphens. They automatically format and appear much cleaner, in my opinion.
SCP-XXXX-vio
It is typical to capitalize every letter in a designation. You don't necessarily need to, but it seems strange to have this be an outlier.
Other buildings are the huts in which SCP-XXXX live and work within.
The paragraph this is in feels wholly irrelevant to the anomaly. Consider whether you need it, as it could be a detractor of focus in your article.
Area 78's land is occupied partly by large stone temples labeled as SCP-XXXX-B.
We still don't know what Area 78 is. I can assume it is the island, but it would be beneficial to state what it is in the description somewhere.
I'd like to point two things out with Addendum one.
First, You have some recurring phrases, usually the first sentence. I'm sure there is some way to condense it. You could probably remove "The center pedestal has one occurrence of" for each of those for example. We know they are located on pedestals from the paragraph before the translations log.
Two, the censorship here doesn't really add anything to the article. There isn't really any context for me to discern what these could be or why crystal skulls could be used to contain other anomalies. They don't add any mystery for me, only holes I can't fill. I usually recommend this helpful guide for some tips on redacted information.
All in all, I'm a little wary on this one. The article starts off pretty strong, I'd say. Humans with crystalline cranial structure are pretty neat. However, the tacked on cognitohazardous effect coupled with loads of missing information in the later portion of the article spoils it. I don't have a narrative to latch onto the moment the article starts withholding information from me.
That is all to say that I think your primary issue is a lack of focus. The article continuously tells us things about the creatures, from their social heirarchy, biology, and their practices, but it isn't enough to sustain interest.
I do think this idea is salvageable. Just need a little help with the direction you are taking it. Personally, I suggest taking the concept to the Ideas & Brainstorming, making a thread and leaving a quick summary of your idea. Do not post a draft unless someone asks to see it. Alternatively, you can go to #thecritters IRC chat and ask someone there. Just click on "Chat With Us!" on the sidebar.
That is all I got for you, author.
Good luck!