All critiques are welcome. Please tell me if i did anything wrong.
http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/doctor-ernst-light-eater
Allow me to preface this by saying that I tend to address the first instance of any recurring errors. To elaborate, if I see something off and it comes up again at a different point, I am less likely to comment on it a second time. Keep this in mind as we go further.
Now, let us begin.
Scp-xxxx is to be kept in a high standard humanoid containment unit at all times.
First, be sure to capitalize each part of the SCP designation, as that is the standard for the wiki. Secondly, "high standard" is a bit awkward. Maybe try "specialized" or "high security".
Containment chamber is to be completely darkened and Scp-xxxx is not to come into contact with light at any time.
I think we could split this into two sentences. Try replacing the "and" with a period.
Good execution of ConProcs, I'd say. Concise, intriguing, and the tone isn't half bad. Let's move on.
Scp-xxxx is a dark figure with a height similar to an average teenager.
This is a nitpick, but I'd specify the height.
Every time Scp-xxxx does this, it [DATA EXPUNGED], allowing it to escape containment with ease.
Can't say I like this censorship. You should at least have an idea of what lies behind the expungement. This reads as a copout, especially since it is a concern in containment.
although personnel have said its voice sounded as if " someone had burned its vocal cords."
Eh. This isn't anything that needs to be included in a scientific document befitting the Foundation. We already know what the entity looks like and is capable of. We don't require much more elaboration like this.
It usually does not talk about things other then the "coming darkness and endless nights", although one interview did manage to gain several answers about Scp-xxxx.
This is a bit "hand-holdy", which is to say that it is more "tell" than "show". You should be able to display these things in your interview rather than mention that it says these things in an interview.
Author, I suggest taking the time to add line breaks in your interview log. How oyu do this is by adding "> " in between bits of text. Rule of thumb: add a line break in between bolded subject headers.
Not particularly feeling the interview and note either. The anomaly is very cooperative and tells us quite a bit of its origin and an oncoming doom, but the way it is presented here leaves a lot to be desired.
Overall, I think the concept could use some work. Consider what you have here: "An alien sent to eat the sun, waiting for its master to finish the job." It's a bit of reductionist way of looking at it, sure, but that's what I'm seeing. It is also all I am getting. The impending doom isn't interesting enough to keep me engaged, much less the kind of edgy dialogue.
I think this concept needs more exploration beyond this surface-level. To do that, I suggest posting a quick summary of your concept in the Ideas & Brainstorming forums. There, you'll find reviewers willing to help you expand on your concept.
Additionally, I think the Clinical Tone Declassified page could help you nail that tone needed for a successful article. Consider it.
Good luck!