SCP-4340: Interdimensional Polaroid
SCP-4340: Interdimensional Polaroid
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» SCP-4340: Interdimensional Polaroid
Summary:
This is my first SCP article draft, I hope you guys enjoy it. Please, I need the advice.
I really do like this idea but I will just let you know beforehand that the mods contacted me for giving subpar advice so please takes this with a grain of salt.
This is good idea for an SCP. I am not a very experienced writer but I can commend you for sticking to the clinical tone well. You don't have to redact the name of the researcher or the specifics of its origin, but your usage of it seems correct in Test 2.
There are minor grammar mistakes like not capitalizing Dr. or leaving out a comma but it seems correct. Just double check it.
The exact dimensions of the camera and its case are not necessary, but you should keep the part about the container being 10 cm thick.
So I feel that you did a good job, of course I recommend waiting for a veteran to give advice before posting. Happy to help.
This is the first time I'm reviewing something on this site, so keep that in mind with what I say (not that it's entirely invalidated).
I genuinely do enjoy your idea, and I think it has potential. You seem to know exactly what you're going for in terms of the conditions of the camera's use. However, I do find issues at some points.
Regarding the obtainment of the item, there are a few issues in particular. How would small explosions result in an abandoned storage unit going up in flames, especially since I'm pretty sure most storage units are made of concrete and metal (not to mention Alaska is also cold!)? Even assuming the place did go up in flames, how would the camera be determined to be the cause if it only goes off every 6 months? When any authorities searching through rubble find the camera, it will just look like a normal camera to a normal person. The last of my issues during this point lies in the amount of time the camera was there. If it was there for any amount of time over 6 months, there would've had to have been more explosions; in which case, ignoring my first issue, why didn't the storage unit go up in flames then? The camera being there for only six months is just not likely, and if you were to make it that way would make your writing feel forced, or like you're just copping out. I would consider seriously redisigning the obtainment section, or just starting over entirely.
I like the restrictions and conditions that you've set for the camera, but they should be stated possibly a little more clearly. On my first read, I thought the camera only took a picture every 6 months, not a video, so when I read the experiment logs, I was confused as to how he was taking pictures, and that a new concept of tearing the photo to bring the pictured entities into his dimension had appeared.
I believe this will flow way better if you introduced each of its conditions during the description, then refer to experiment logs of how each of its conditions were discovered. Speaking of which, write how each condition was discovered! For example, changing the focus to change the dimension pictured. The experiment involved would be attempting to see what impacted what the camera pictured, and the discovery that the focus is what impacts it. I honestly think it would be cool if you wrote about the various pictures that resulted from the discovery of the feature, they could easily make for their own add-on stories, similarly to the way SCP-507 is written, with the logs of his reported experiences.
Personally, I'm not sure of a Polaroid pumping out a USB. I think there are different precesses and paths you could go on instead, especially if you want to make the obtainment section work. As your idea is a thing that does a thing, it shouldn't deviate too much from being a Polaroid (how would the USB fit out of the slot in the first place?).
As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. Also, nicely done with your review here. εїз ~Zyn
Just as an idea, it could be possible that every 6 months, it takes a photo of both a random dimension and the dimension it's in, and swaps the two. This could make it to where sometimes nothing happens, but sometimes, it replaced the scenery in front of it with roaring flames. It would also remove the need for the small explosions that really seemed to serve no purpose other than to set up the obtainment section. This would, however, make the object much more dangerous due to its randomness and unpredictability, meaning it would probably need to be a Euclid.
I won't bother talking about grammar, nor the containment specifications, since another already said pretty much most of what I had in mind while reading.
/forum/t-9916063/scp-4340:interdimensional-polaroid#post-
page revision: 3, last edited: 22 Sep 2018 03:57
