Best. Termination. EVER.
Thanks for commenting, I was thinking of developing that part of the description, but I got a bit caught up in the interview logs.
This is fun, amusing and surprisingly well-written, though a little fluffy. +1 from me.
I misunderstood, then, sorry.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I've written a tale upvoted by Djoric, Bright, Echo, Yoric, Moose, VAE and Voct, fite me irl if you don't respect
Thanks! I was worried it might be a bit overpowered. I'll have to think about how to tone it down.
I'm pretty new to everything here, just so you know.
I personally think your SCP is exeptionally well written. I like the concept of an alternate, reversed universe. It's very Fringe-like, if you've seen the show.
In ways of tonation, I guess there is not much to wish for. Everything seems to be in order.
Finally there are some grammatical and spelling errors, but nothing a good readthrough by several persons won't fix. Though I highly reccomend on getting them done, because they dissrupt the flow of the text quite some times.
Anyway thats all from me, have a great one :)
It's a phone and earbuds what makes noises? This is my first attempt to see if I can nail the writing style. Any criticism would be appreciated.
Well, I'm in 100% agreement with you about making it about narrative necessity and not any sort of personal predilection otherwise… Which is why I got into it once or twice with another forum member, once because they seemed dead-set on pushing the "well why wasn't this SCP tested with trans people" thing, when the answer was "because the SCP makes people escape forever from the Foundation, so it was only tested on two people".
It would have literally made the article worse/nonsensical to include more people of any sexual or gender persuasion at all. I'm glad that you haven't noticed a couple people frequently commenting about inclusion of gay/trans/etc. issues into articles, because I feel like I've been seeing it pop up a lot recently, and it's good to get an outside perspective.
As for the six quote-marks around "alt", I take it that that's not your preferred term? I seriously couldn't care less than I already do about what people's gender identities and sexual preferences are (in a non-judgmental, just-don't-give-a-damn-as-long-as-you're-happy-and-not-hurting-someone-nonconsentually way), but a lot of people are pretty sensitive about the terminology; is there a less bothersome or offensive term you would prefer when discussing this in the future?
This looks pretty unfinished to me, it doesn't contain a lot of containment procedures nor description details. I don't really know what you are trying to say in the addendum, it's so vague and your entire work seems unrelated.
Downvote for now; here are a few recommendations for making a new SCP in the future;
- You might read the How to write an SCP guide.
- Make a draft on the Main SCP sandbox site.
- Show your draft in our Chat and ask for a review.
- Or you can post your draft/brainstorm for a well idea at the Critique forum, Ideas and brainstorming, or at the general advice forum…
- Don't immediately post your SCP because that appears to be spammy and it's coldposting.
I really hope your 2nd SCP would be better, lots of luck with that, it's a hard challenge. :)
Bork bork bork…
I just found an article talking about the idea of hikikomori, a disorder where people respond to high pressure or failure by shutting themselves in and cutting off all contact with the world around them. To be true hikikomori the self-induced shunning has to last for at least six months; there are some instances of hikikomori where there has been little or no non-digital interaction with the world for 20 years. Japanese experts are calling it the Year 2030 Problem; that's when they anticipate that the parents who are supporting a lot of these folks will start dying off.
I think this could be really cool to turn into a SCP, but I'm stuck with the nagging sensation that something like this exists already. Any feedback is hugely appreciated!
Alright, i will do that. In fact that gives me an idea. Can i put an incident report about a Chaos Insurgency Raid type situation? Im thinking maybe they want their own instant source of healing (due to the insta-heeling snow) so you know, would that be viable? And thank you for the compliment on the picture, found it on the visual records site.
since you took the time to comment on my draft and I just happened to stumble accross yours. I thought I'd leave my opinion.
I understand, that this is the raw version of your SCP, so it is bound to have some errors. So I'll start from the top.
From your description I don't think your SCP is Keter-class but rather Euclid, because first, it can be effectively contained if the containmet procedures are followed correctly and second, because it does not pose a threat to humanity at large.
I also think the style you write in is a bit repetative. Try to reffer to your SCP as "the object" or "the specimen" once in a while instead of just "it" or "SCP-XXXX".
Finally it feels like there are some, well let me call them "holes", in your draft. It's like little bits of unclear or missing information here and there. For example: what if there is no fitting host in close enough proximity? Or: How long is the active state of your SCP precisely?
There also are some minor errors in tonation but I think that's subjective
If you would allow it I would take the time to make some changes here and there and fix some errors without completely taking appart your concept, which btw I think has a whole lot of potential. I'd say consider it.
Anyway, have a nice one :)
Most of all, I really like the concept about the way this thing spreads. Introducing it at the start was a great way to hook me . And you used my div!
I should probably get to using it myself
I think a literally 'nightmare' or 'old hag' creature that causes sleep paralysis would be too cliche, but I'm thinking maybe some kind of interdimensional parasite or something… leeching concepts/imaginary landscapes from dreams to maintain its reality, and the Foundation has a deal with it, to allow it to feed in return for not revealing their nature to the populace? Or something.
Dude… you didn't give enough time to get responses to your draft thread before posting. The forums move a lot slower- just because there's no posts in 30 minutes doesn't mean that it's good to go.
preferably, tin foil
Sorry, but containment procedures should be specific. If it should be tin foil, then it's tin foil, full stop.
Also, there are better containment devices at similar cost than tin foil.
The biology is completely wrong. Anomalies are one thing. But when we presuppose that baseline reality doesn't work as scientifically demonstrated, that right there is worthy of containment. Like the whole "unlock more brain power" which is a verifiable falsehood.
(Seriously, a ton of our energy is already used in running our brains. If we're lugging around more brain than we use, then someone who is equally smart but has less brain would be able to do so much more with the extra freed-up energy.)
Also worth noting that one of the ways they made use of what they already had was making dozens of variants of the AK-47 and its descendants rather than designing an entirely new gun every time. Traded some optimization for being able to fix a gun made in the 90's with parts you found in the back of the warehouse next to a stack of WWII pinup magazines, basically.
True. But it's not like it's Australia. Everything isn't venomous and trying to kill you. Just most things.
Safe just means that it won't really do anything if you keep it "locked in a box". There's a great deal of really lethal safe-class skips, but due to properties which allow them to be contained and stored without much issue, they're given the designation.