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I really liked this SCP. We have so many SCPs that have supernatural powers and are basically gods… and we have this guy, a man who was blessed with anomalous powers and just wants to live out his fantasies and protect innocent civilians, but can't. He's just not good enough, which usually isn't a theme in SCPs. It's a very nice theme, though, and it invokes a great emotional response, which is always what I look for in a good SCP.
The only thing I disliked was the fact that the cacti experienced increased nutrient absorption and all that when spoken to. I think it'd be better if that was removed from his powers and replaced in the description with something along the lines of, "SCP-2800 has been frequently observed conversing with specimens of Carnigiea gigantea. During these conversations, SCP-2800's metabolism levels increase by __%. Specimens that SCP-2800 converse with do not show signs of attempting communication." In my opinion, rewriting it that way makes Cactusman seem a lot more depressed and lonely. Is he really talking to cacti, or is he just so broken from his failures that he resorts to personifying plants to keep himself sane?
Other than that, it's wonderful.

by ThekilleraxThekillerax, 24 Apr 2014 03:07
KestinKestin 24 Apr 2014 02:43
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » Thread

…And here I've been wasting my years putting up with everyone else's reality…

by KestinKestin, 24 Apr 2014 02:43

Not everybody watches markiplier, poke.

Re: Secret Handshake by Gamerkid2345Gamerkid2345, 24 Apr 2014 02:33
MortteMortte 24 Apr 2014 02:05
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » SCP-791

All set to upvote for the simple, weird and interesting idea, but that ending just ruined it for me.

No vote

by MortteMortte, 24 Apr 2014 02:05

I'm not sure why people don't dig geology SCPs as much as they should. The idea is a great foundation, but sometimes ideas get buried in the minutiae, right under the crust. Then again, these things shift over time. And that rocks!

Is this the new pps (puns per sentence) record? Rated at 1.5 pps right now, with a pps spike of 3…

As for the article… I generally like this one. Yeah, it does need tightening up, though. Surprised it lasted what… four years without anyone noticing the contradictory locations.

Some of what Mount put up in the discussion should be somehow incorporated into the article too. Especially about how the stones were originally used; it gives a greater emphasis on the "wow" factor than we have now.

Oh, and that Researcher's note probably needs to be moved somewhere else, the one in the ( )'s. The current location is jarring to me at the moment.

Re: Call For Review by dankaardankaar, 24 Apr 2014 01:28

It seems as though the composition of the coins matters more than their face value to these lizards. Is there any particular reason the researchers chose to specify "$ in assorted change," as opposed to "___ kg minted silver" or something similar?

That said, I like how the Foundation can literally pour millions of dollars into the -8 experiment without batting an eye.

There's the budget. by TwilitbeingTwilitbeing, 24 Apr 2014 01:25

I roll with Primitivist fifthism - lots of trepanning to commune with hostile star-gods.

Re: A Fifthist Catechism? by DjoricDjoric, 24 Apr 2014 01:23

Made some more edits. Fixed a few continuity errors too.


Re: The Sharpie by Dancin BearDancin Bear, 24 Apr 2014 01:14
CerxiCerxi 24 Apr 2014 01:12
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » SCP-1903

"█████ █████'s female uniform included a pair of novelty animal ears, and a white mask. Both parts would be paired so that the wearer would resemble either a cat, fox, wolf, or rat."

Seems to be missing rabbits.

by CerxiCerxi, 24 Apr 2014 01:12

Well, it was hard for me to find the right terms in order to somewhat fit in with the SCP feel that i so love, i think i attanined something satisfying, at least to me that is, since i never did this kind of thing before. ( I usually just do wordless videos, those are so much more simple to do ). Anyway, i wanted this to be reviewed by the veterans of the SCP foundation here, since i believe they can change me and my article ( and future articles ) for the better. Since the site itself was so kind as to warn me of all the hate i might be getting, including unecessary commentary regarding my own parents, i guess i am kind of nervous. ( i am very nervous actually, you can tell because i almost never write like this ).

Anyway, here it goes, the SCP itself is based on a video i did ( including the cathedral in it, i did that too, except for the music, everything else is pretty much done by me ) so if you are curious, you can check it out here: ( which by the way, would show the SCP in action )

Good bye, and hopefully i don't get murdered.

You've been annoying, yes, but getting a warning does not mean you have to leave. You can come back whenever you like, provided you're willing to listen to the warnings you're given. Public self-flagellation is unnecessary.

I'm locking this thread.

SCP Wiki Administrator | Earth: We're all in this together.

Re: I am sorry by PhotosyntheticPhotosynthetic, 24 Apr 2014 01:07

This Week's Review Article Is:

SCP-888 - Memory Stones

Oscillate on over to the call for review and make sure you don't take this one for granite.

This is a call for review on this article, which has been selected as needing more attention.1

I'm not sure why people don't dig geology SCPs as much as they should. The idea is a great foundation, but sometimes ideas get buried in the minutiae, right under the crust. Then again, these things shift over time. And that rocks!

The idea behind this SCP, portable memory storage, isn't one I dislike. Done before on the wiki, yes, but this is a Series I article, and as thedeadlymoose says,

An above-average execution of a highly mediocre idea.

Unfortunately, there are some odd tonal issues, esoteric containment procedures, and vague descriptive statements. The containment procedures detail a library constructed of SCP-888, which is only found in Russia? The entire containment procedures are muddled, referencing granite vaults and a "Father ████ ████████". A couple of atonal notes, droning, and abundant reactions push this close to the edge.


SCP-888 is currently used as the basis for a library located in ████, Italy. The portions of the building constructed of SCP-888 are designated as "rare-book" storage, and are locked away from the general public.

And this:

The current storage site contained roughly 1 cubic meter of 'empty' stone, which was previously housed in a sealed vault of ordinary granite.

Directly contradict each other, and are simply confusing to the reader. The doctor's comment, and the analogy to describe the process,

like losing a tooth — you know there used to be something there but all that's left is a squishy hole.

Ends up sounding sillier than intended.

That's not to say it's all bad though. I think it could be much more interesting. Why is there an old library made of this stone? In Italy, no less. There's definitely a story in the history of that building. Is it tied to the Father? Is there a religion using these stones? As Wandergirl108 questions,

Can a person who stored their memory in a stone get the memory back if they put the stone down and then pick it up again?

According to the author, Mount,

It wouldn't restore the memory fully; it would be more like something about which you had a very vivid dream.

Elaboration on this, too, would help the article. Would repeated transfer of the memory cause degradation? Would the memories change gradually? Where would that go? Elucidation on the uses of these stones could make the article so much more unforgettable.2

In and of itself, the idea is more of a platform for interest, rather than inherently interesting. With a little love and creativity, this rocky start could polish up to be something good.

Call For Review by RiemannRiemann, 24 Apr 2014 00:55

There does seem to be a story in here, albeit one that's extremely convoluted and weird for the sake of weird. It's difficult to get at it, though, through the extraneous stuff in here.

There's a low-hanging fruit critique of a fairly niche internet subculture, with all the charm of a fiftysomething midwesterner bellowing about kids wearing sagging pants. For some reason. There's footnotes that serve no purpose except to add some sort of weird "unseen and condescending author" narrative device that does absolutely nothing for anything. For some other unknown reason. There's a bunch of characters that show up and do absolutely nothing to move anything forward (Mr. Merit, the old lady, random Nobody guy).

I get that longer narratives need to be broken up around here. That doesn't excuse the individual parts from having to include basic elements of storytelling and communication in general.

by KalininKalinin, 24 Apr 2014 00:53

That got me to upvote it as well.

by Vladimir MikhailovVladimir Mikhailov, 24 Apr 2014 00:48
I am sorry
ameertgameertg 24 Apr 2014 00:41
in discussion Forum Discussion / General » I am sorry

I know that I've probably annoyed, offended or upset some of you in the chat room and have therefore decided not to enter it anymore to avoid causing more trouble. I hope you all accept my apology and hope that none of you bear any resentment (which is probably well deserved) towards me.

I am sorry by ameertgameertg, 24 Apr 2014 00:41
CerxiCerxi 24 Apr 2014 00:28
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » SCP-2677

I was waffling on this one, but the outright mention of "collapsibles", which ostensibly don't exist in-universe (even here they're used for related documents of various clearance levels), tipped it over to -1.

by CerxiCerxi, 24 Apr 2014 00:28

Sounds a lot like Nikola Tesla.

@Dr Nikolaus by DeadmanDoctorDeadmanDoctor, 24 Apr 2014 00:13

What? Two souls? 02 Souls?

@ZeroTwoSoul by ThunderBoomThunderBoom, 24 Apr 2014 00:06
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