Since you didn't seem to change anything, I'll just post a link from my first critique. If you don't want to listen to critique, people won't want to bother helping you.
Very belatedly thirding. There's no real substance or hook here. It reads like a (admittedly well-executed) prompt from chat. "Hey guys, what if there was this house, see? And all of the objects in it thought that they were gods of whatever they were. And, wait for it… they argued with each other!"
For whatever reason, this rubs me the wrong way, so I'mma downvote.
Well done, Accelerando. This is very, very good.
Sorry man, but this is gonna need a lot more story and context for me to believe that this kid just randomly found the Foundation, and during a breach at that. Right now I don't feel anything; I don't really care about this kid because you haven't developed his character any.
And how could he have heard 513? You have to be the one who rings it to see 513-1, and it doesn't seem like he was.
I love this! It's so creepy. The song reminds me of Mirror's Edge, too.
Creepy and interesting to read, the song made it all the more unsettling to read the incident log.
Some people think I'm crazy. I reply "I met Dr. Clef"
Been wanting this for awhile. Thanks Kaktus!
I still don't get it. To me, it's just a character who's getting an amnestic applied every so often. I have to downvote for now.
This… has me torn. While I love Scooby Doo in almost all its forms and find this to be funny beyond reason, coupled with the fact that it's written well and I honestly believe the idea would be able to stand alone, IE Someone faking an SCP for monetary gain, I can't help but…. but… Wait… There IS no but!
I love -J, I love it with a fevered passion, and this is one of my favorites. +1 for you. Enjoy it.
Prototype is a better game i had expected of something from Activision (except for COD: Finest, Hour, of course. Every other COD sucked.)
This is pretty GOUDA (runs away)
Yup, thanks for finding that.
… creepy. =_=U Have my upvote, Accel. Great job. Edit: And my pleasure.
I would also like to know this.
Whoops, sorry. Glad to see you like it, though. :D
Already exists. In a fashion.
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Drafts and Critiques » Light Tiny Humans on Fire and Inhale The Smoke from Their Charred Bodies
Draft is here, under the fifth tab ("Cheney's Cigars).
Is it too short without the final addendum? Is it just a thing what is/does a thing? Without the final addenda, is it interesting at all?
The addenda is not there on purpose. The twist is fairly easy to figure out even without it, but is that twist too cliche for use here? I want to see what people think before writing the addenda.
Thanks in advance!