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First off, if English is your second language then seriously well done. There are only a handful of grammatical errors here and your clinical tone is very good, which can be difficult even for native speakers to achieve - in terms of writing style, it's better than some first attempts I've seen by people who speak English as a first language.

If you want me to point out the grammar issues now then I can, but the main thing you need to work on is developing the idea. You've got the very beginning of an item, but at the moment there's nothing very interesting about it - there needs to be some kind of story, or at least a reason why we should care about it. Have a look at some of the higher-rated Series II and III SCPs (numbers 1000-2999) and think about the techniques they use to create interest or suspense, then think about how you could apply those to your own article.

Re: A Thinking Machine by MondegreenMondegreen, 31 Jan 2015 12:54

First of all, don't post your draft here, if you want to create draft's for this SCP you need to make a sandbox here: http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com

Overall, I see that this SCP need some more work done and should be longer. Make a sandbox page and post your SCP there, I think posting an SCP in the forums is against the rules.

Re: Death Camera by Harry MaysHarry Mays, 31 Jan 2015 12:44

Also, 3rd.


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Re: Staff Post - Deletion Vote by CrayneCrayne, 31 Jan 2015 12:11

Harry Mays, did you read the staff post you are replying to:

If you want to ask for the opportunity to rewrite this article, you may reply to this post. Please do not reply to this post for any other reason if you are not staff.

Please read The Guide to Newbies again, and don't reply to deletion posts or closed staff posts in the future.


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Captain of the Technical Team, member of the Community Outreach Team

Staff Post - Closed by CrayneCrayne, 31 Jan 2015 12:08
Re: Taking Art Requests by SunnyParallaxSunnyParallax, 31 Jan 2015 11:51

This should have a class change, this isn't safe, it's Euclid because it can kill

by Harry MaysHarry Mays, 31 Jan 2015 11:41

To summarise, the idea is an anomalous mobile app that functions like a search engine. But inputting details like birthdate, name etc., the engine reveals detailed archives of all the user's previous incarnations. After viewing profiles of one's past lives, the user gains fragmented memories of those lives.

It also has a "karmic counter" that measures the user's current level of karma (and which realm of existence they will be reincarnated into), and requests donations to increase one's karma (cash, blood rites, lifespan etc.).

How would the concept work out? Is there anything that I should consider before working on a draft?

Reincarnation Checker by MrWrongMrWrong, 31 Jan 2015 11:35

I'm intrigued but think an entry to this contest should be answering questions, not raising more.
No vote but I would love to see this expanded on, both the 'afterlife' part and just what's so threatening about that corpse immolation effect.

by RetianRetian, 31 Jan 2015 09:51

Draft: http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/hallowdance

Its wording may be a bit off, because of my English skills, but I would appreciate it if you gave it a look.

A Thinking Machine by HallowDanceHallowDance, 31 Jan 2015 09:41

There isn't really a way to do that without it taking up a huge load of space, distorting the table, and making it harder to compare the actual numbers. Plus, I think the names of the columns are self-evident enough for a cursory glance.

This is spectacular worldbuilding and storytelling both. Great to have something new from you on the wiki sir, especially of this caliber.

by LumancerLumancer, 31 Jan 2015 09:05

Thank you Drewbear for the advice and the warm welcome.

I will be sure to check out sandbox as soon as I get my ideas in order.

Re: Good Evening/Morning All. by FinndaFinnda, 31 Jan 2015 08:40

You are indeed on the right track.

If anything were to be added to the upgrade log I believe it'd be interesting to expose an animal as opposed to voluntary or injured personnel. I can imagine a marine animal being adapted to be amphibious or something. Another addition to the SCP that I'd enjoy reading would be more interactions between it and SCP-914.

i think you overdid it. debt in excess of value of the earth that payments have literally no effect on? indetectible super fast "collectors"? fast enough spread to wipe out a foundation site before the situation could be ascertained? victims basically going insane at the drop of a hat?

it would have been a lot better if it were less absurdly over the top, as it is it doesn't grab me. a more subtle version could have been good. this is bad.

too much by TollymainTollymain, 31 Jan 2015 07:15

Hmm…I don't really get this. If it's purpose is to supply blood as sacrifice for a malicious deity what's the deal with the temporal field? Also, for a creation of a God it's stupidly easy to negate its effects. Another thing that bothers me - how did one family managed to get away with countless murders for like 200 years?

by HallowDanceHallowDance, 31 Jan 2015 05:41

Well, these are both perfectly logical arguments. The point of this wouldn't be "Skips deserve the same respect as normal human beings," because, if that were the case, fuck it, who needs normalcy? The Foundation's entire modus operandi would be shot. Perhaps "Bill of Rights" is a name too… implicit towards them actually having the same rights as a non-anomalous individuals. Maybe something more bureaucratic sounding, such as "Ethics Committee Policy on the Rights of Sapient Beings." More than that, simply the right to exist might be something the Foundation feels the need to elaborate on in order to distinguish itself from the Global Occult Coalition or more genocidal elements of the (defunct) American Secure Containment Initiative. It wouldn't be as liberal as the documents mentioned in the original post, because, as I said, it would undermine the Foundation's MO. So yes, I agree with the majority of these points, but still see validity in my original argument.

Reminds me a lot of SCP-1646 (the central conceit, of somebody killing one person over and over again, is repeated), but goes in a completely different direction. I enjoyed it.


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