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No, no, no. You don't understand. 682 can't be killed yet because it's destined to breach the containment when 2317 emerge to this world. Then 053, who's its guidance fairy all along, will induce the final evolution and make 682 GIGATIC and battle 2317.

Then all the noise will wake 169 up, and it will chomp on them both.

That's my head canon, and you can't change it.

Quick note that I'll be posting feedback since I got a request in PMs, but I need to finish some errands first.

What about a band: Oingo Boeingo?

by Aiden EldritchAiden Eldritch, 25 Jul 2016 03:37

Love the SCP/SH format blend, and the constant ribbing the Foundation receives.

Seriously, how many times is Boeing's corpse going to screw with normality? Next thing you know, we're gonna have a Weekend at Boeings…

by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks, 25 Jul 2016 03:33

Could you clarify this concept a bit: by "forging", do you mean actually crafting with a hammer and an anvil like a blacksmith, or just crafting something in general? Also, is the crafted item abnormal in some way/possess some special properties/have some kind of utility value, or is it purely ritualistic?

I think your second idea sounds most promising, provided that you can make the ritual itself look interesting and tie in nicely with the whole CotBG mythos.

Lastly, consider this alternative:
- A former/retired smith of the CotBG, who abandoned his craft a long time ago due to some past event, is visited by a Church member and is asked to craft one last item.

Good luck!

Re: Cotbg tale by FountainFountain, 25 Jul 2016 03:08

I for one find the idea of summoning 2/3 of a legendary sea monster using a piece of paper and some teenage angst highly amusing.

by Scorpion451Scorpion451, 25 Jul 2016 03:03

Hello! I'm reviewing this to see if there's anything more we can tighten up.

SCP-xxxx emits a telepathic field to a radius of 0.75 km from the center of the herd in which it communicates to wild or feral horses, which are then influenced by its control. Initial contact with this field of influence promptly, within five minutes, causes wild horses to exhibit behavioral anomalies such as running in tight circles, jumping in place, and laying on their backs with their legs up and moving as if running. These behaviors are not always present, however, as horses exposed to the telepathic field for longer than one hour will return to normal behavior but will not be willing to leave the area of influence.

I would remove "from the center of the herd in which it communicates to wild or feral horses, which are then influenced by its control." You don't really need it, it's a bit awkward, and the next sentences explain what you mean by that, anyway.

Horses who remain under the area of influence for longer than one month will begin to exhibit different anomalous properties, despite not being anomalous themselves, and will continue to develop these anomalous properties for a period of up to six months during prolonged exposure.

Um… nope. Horses with anomalous behaviors are anomalous. Unless you're trying to do some infohazard thing here (which there is no indication anywhere else that you are), just call them -1 instances and anomalous.

It's still kind of odd. I don't know how well it will go over that you've got this herd that affects wild horses for no apparent reason. But then again, this is about horses for horses; this isn't about people. Maybe that's all there needs to be.

Introducing 682 to sentient fire sounds like a good way to destroy a whole bunch of things which are not 682.

Alright then. I did post in the forums, but I figured more people would see it if it was posted in both places.

As for the narrative, It was my first time, and I was expecting to fail. it was mostly just an experiment to get my bearings. This will most likely get deleted soon, and I'm fine with that because it took maybe 3 hours to write and it wasn't a big deal. Thanks for the feedback.

by ChinChillidawgChinChillidawg, 25 Jul 2016 02:48

A huge issue here is the lack of clarity. Think of the SCP format as a summary report and simultaneously a story. In the description, it should provide readers with the anomalous object and what makes they anomalous (and worth the Foundation's time). Therefore, you should have focused on the anomaly in the description instead of how it was found.

And I fail to see why the battery is classified as an anomaly. If anything, only the camcorder is anomalous.

The anomaly portrayed here does not feel too anomalous. If anything, it feels more like a camera trick than something worth the Foundation's time. As such, I think it is necessary to rethink what is this anomaly about. Why is it inside that camera? Under what circumstances can it be seen? Express those details in the Description, as though it were a report of your findings (as is the case from the POV of a Foundation researcher writing on the article).

Forums and chat are where you go for feedback.
Short version here though: Vaguely ominous phrases in bold italics and people sustaining injuries are not a substitute for interesting ideas and engaging narrative.

by Scorpion451Scorpion451, 25 Jul 2016 02:28

That settles it. Cause of death changed.

by daveyoufooldaveyoufool, 25 Jul 2016 02:27

Hmmm… let me think about it.

by daveyoufooldaveyoufool, 25 Jul 2016 02:19
Losing Control by ZachtheKeterZachtheKeter, 25 Jul 2016 02:07

Thank you for the help! I tried my best to clear up what I could, though I personally stuck with the double numbers as I personally prefer it. I also stated in the experiment log, that any direct observation of the processes described in the following paragraph was impossible; whether or not that was the right way to change that is up to you. And yes, the majority of jewelry you purchase would have a brand name and probably a serial number engraved somewhere on it. I also couldn't really think of an alternative to saying "bodily systems", most professional or medical documents I have seen used the same wording, though I might just be a total idiot.

Thank you for the help!

Re: gigyas6 by Skye BeatSkye Beat, 25 Jul 2016 01:55

The SCP-788 reference is good, and it's decently enjoyable. Where it really falls off is when the backstory is given; it makes the object feel like an afterthought or the punchline. Doubly so since you're writing about

and it boils down to a very short but unsatisfying background of "a girl summoned it and she's not anomalous, things just went haywire". It feels so disparate to the rest of the article.

by DecibellesDecibelles, 25 Jul 2016 01:52

Allow me to extend appreciation from various parties such as Zyn and LadyKatie (who saw the original version and motivated me to change it), Flappyblob, Tuomey, SoundChaser among others (who saw the current version we see today).

This article features:

  • SCP-788 (Magma Carp) by Aelanna

This is the next half to the semi-homage to Love Live Sunshine, that I started in SCP-2720, although the homage elements here are even more superficial (and extrapolated from an one-off line).

And…

Thanks for catching my grammar errors, I doubt I would have found them myself.

The idea is that the bones can't be accelerated past a certain point, if you try, they rapidly heat. The liquid (which I deliberately didn't specify as viscosity and ensuring sufficient liquid is present seemed more important to me than picking a specific liquid) is to try to stop it from accelerating greatly if the container is moved or shaken violently and is inflammable so that if someone manages to accelerate the container enough, the liquid does not catch fire and damage the container.

I added the heat resistant properties, I had intended to do that from the start but, clearly forgot. The index finger that fell merely lit a small area of the forest on fire, which spread to the rest of the forest, I couldn't think of an elegant way to explain this so I left it the way it was.

Thanks for your feedback, sorry about the near four-week delay, I've been on holiday and studying for an exam resit

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