in discussion Writing Help / Help: Drafts and Critiques » An Elevator with Mirrors.
Wait, I thought you wrote the FAQ? Why downvote for something you say is okay in the required reading?
Or was that sarcastic?
Wait, I thought you wrote the FAQ? Why downvote for something you say is okay in the required reading?
Or was that sarcastic?
This is the only line with nine syllables instead of eight; I dunno if that was intentional, but it read awkwardly.
I mentally parsed it as "war-yer"… maybe it's an accent thing. I'll change it though.
This one kinda felt forced to me; I dunno why. It's a perfectly reasonable line in its own regard, but I just didn't like how it sounded personally. It didn't feel natural.
That'd be the emphasis on "by" working its magic… I don't promise anything, but I'll see if I can't wrangle something up for that.
Because of the internal rhyme, I mentally am putting emphasis on the "to," which feels… weird.
That's the intent, yeah. I couldn't think of a workaround.
I really just don't know about this line, it just bothers me somehow.
Huh. Seems fine to me.
E: Fixed the first two. Sorry the content doesn't do much for you, though.
EE: Dude internal rhyme is the shit ill fite u m8
Just a note, I also tend to dislike internal rhyme so this might be some of my bias but regardless, I'll point out a few places that just jarred me personally.
Also, I'm really bad at poetry stuff so please take all of my (probably very bad, vague, and/or incorrect) criticism with a grain of salt.
The warrior sleeps before it leaps,
This is the only line with nine syllables instead of eight; I dunno if that was intentional, but it read awkwardly.
It takes its form nearby the norm.
This one kinda felt forced to me; I dunno why. It's a perfectly reasonable line in its own regard, but I just didn't like how it sounded personally. It didn't feel natural.
Now, anchored to the stars they do
Because of the internal rhyme, I mentally am putting emphasis on the "to," which feels… weird.
They think that land and sea and sand
I really just don't know about this line, it just bothers me somehow.
I just wonder if former humanoid SCP simply got terminated along with remaining D-class, or they were release (under the same condition of 103 before pre-recontain)?
Somehow the first thing I imagine in later case is Claudia ask Iris to take a picture of her. Life still suck for Iris, she would never clear her name of that murder case, and must live with new identity. Claudia however would enjoy normal life very well.
053 would ask her foster parents where "Mister Lizard" is for sometime, but eventually forget it as she grow up and has friends.
I downvote for amnestic. I like amnesiac.
Huh. Pretty sure I had the meter nailed at least… mind pointing out any spots?
Eh. The rhymes and meter felt weird in a lot of places, and it didn't overall bring anything particularly interesting or new to the article in my opinion.
It appears I was misinformed. Thank you for letting me know; I'll be sure to take your recommendation into consideration when I put together my second draft.
My phone typing software seems automatically add a space before question marks and can't be cancelled or deleted. Sorry for that, I gonna try with a different one.
Ready, Willing is a poem about why I think SCP-076 is one of the site's better articles.
Welcome to Scantron's coldpost theater.
So, guys, lately, I've been reflecting on exactly what scares or creeps me out personally and writing little tidbits and snippets describing them.
What personally scared you when reading/watching/thinking about stuff and (bonus challenge) could you write a snippet based on that thing?
I consciously chose not to in this case. It felt more like being too deliberately detailed than anything else. I felt it would have been like describing an white oak chest, by describing it as a chest composed of Quercus alba. That said, I probably would have done better just to say it composed of an 'unidentified species of yew'.
Also, SPC-1490-1 was never the owner of SPC-1490, just abnormally changed by it.
We should probably focus on the article before the staff come and tell us to…focus on the article.
I completely agree, Aelanna.
Well… that's horrifyingly embarrassing.
Also, we're not Real Scientists. This is a fiction site, so it's acceptable to make certain minor breaks (like this one) from proper procedure in the interests of narrative structure. Ultimately, that's what it's all about. Everything, including the SCP format itself is just a tool to that end.
Yew is not a scientific name and should not be used
This is not entirely correct. Even in peer-reviewed scientific publications, it's entirely normal to see "Taxus canadensis (Canadian Yew)", with the scientific name (which is always italicized) and the common name in parentheses after it. Even Real Scientists don't like having to Google scientific names.
The admins have repeatedly stood their ground against this issue. The beauty of the democratic process, however, is that you can force change with your vote. There are people who will downvote if you use "amnesiac", but no one downvotes instances of "amnestic". Thus, regardless of what the required reading says, the decision is pretty clear-cut to me.