Only Once Away My Son 5

I See a Darkness / Discussion

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  • I See a Darkness
Started by: Wikidot
Date: 20 Nov 2017, 10:09
Number of posts: 26
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page I See a Darkness.

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Author's Post

decibelleaccount.pngDecibelles 20 Nov 2017, 10:09

No.


Updates Mondays and Thursdays.

bohemianrhapsodyaccount.pngBohemian Rhapsody 20 Nov 2017 10:59

Let's see if we can break it down a bit.

Overall there are many good things about this, but I think maybe it felt as if much of it was trying too hard to be like 3999. If the rest of it had been more like the Shea stadium section, I would have enjoyed it much more.

decibelleaccount.pngDecibelles 20 Nov 2017 15:32

I think I'll rest on what to fix from this and what not to fix. A lot of the surreal stuff (and some of the tone stuff you point out) is intentional, but eh, I'll wait and see. Right now it's at -2 so I might consider how much to retool. Thanks!

Critique

dummyaccount4.png16Horsepower 20 Nov 2017 11:21

(THIS IS A STAFF EDIT. USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR TROLLING AND HARASSMENT.)

dummyaccount1.pnglegion 20 Nov 2017 14:38

(THIS IS A STAFF EDIT. USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR TROLLING AND HARASSMENT.)

decibelleaccount.pngDecibelles 20 Nov 2017 15:46

Yeah, I guess it's too weird and sensitive for the site? I dunno. I'll think about what to do for the series and on. Thanks!

dummyaccount0.pngDrShiny 20 Nov 2017 16:33

I dont get it…

dummyaccount2.pngBreakOutTheAirGuitar 20 Nov 2017 16:36

Eh, not feeling this one. It's just whatever.

dummyaccount0.pngItsAllInYourHead 20 Nov 2017 17:01

(THIS IS A STAFF EDIT. USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR TROLLING AND HARASSMENT.)

Staff Post - Closed

perfectdayaccount.pngPerfect Day 20 Nov 2017 17:03

ItsAllInYourHead, this is a vehement post to make and is in violation of the Criticism Policy. I'd advise you reread this in order to understand how you're actually supposed to give critique. Basically; don't be an asshole.

This is a closed staff post. Do not reply to this post for any reason if you are NOT staff.

dummyaccount0.pngA Conscious Decision 20 Nov 2017 17:24

(THIS IS A STAFF EDIT. USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR TROLLING AND HARASSMENT.)

Admin Post - Closed

snowhalationaccount.pngSnow Halation 20 Nov 2017 17:26

A Conscious Decision, don't make posts like these. The Criticism Policy says you don't get to be a shitheel about posting critique that attacks the author. This is an official warning. If you do this again, you will be banned from the site.

This is a closed staff post. Do not reply to this post for any reason if you are NOT staff.

dummyaccount2.pngTammySammy 20 Nov 2017 23:01

i actually enjoyed it! weird but intriguing. i cant wait to see more!

dummyaccount3.pngWhoop Whoop 24 Nov 2017 02:05

Yeah I don't actually know why this is at -6. It seems controversial but it's pretty cool and original. Hopefully it sticks around; the site needs more articles like this one.

dummyaccount1.pngHmmEdibles 22 Nov 2017 13:29

I think most of this is gonna be on the subjective side, for a few reasons.

For one, meta/conceptual stuff is just one of those things where I usually can't digest it straight, it has to be mixed in and blended with something really appealing for me to like it. It's an especially high hurdle for me when works go beyond ordinary meta and directly involve specific physical authors.

Additionally, my reception of the tale is colored by the feelings I have for 3999 itself. Normally I wouldn't think this fair but when both the tale and 3999 have the same core to them in my eyes, I feel it is natural to judge them together.

Gonna go on a 3999 tangent here, for context. I can accept that it's a powerful expression of emotion, and that it stems from something deeply personal. But the crux of the matter is that for my own reading and voting tastes, that in itself is not enough to make me feel like it belongs on the site.

Coming back to your tale, I feel like it's a lot of raw emotion but no substance that I can grab onto. I tend to notice emotional (and other) undertones and messages far more rarely than a lot of readers, so I can't really see what exactly is going on here or what it all means.

At the very least, 3999 had some kind of explanation for what the file signified in-universe, if not for the meta stuff. This one doesn't give me any starting point at all, besides the information that it's about you and maybe your psyche somehow. It honestly feels like I'm reading an addendum of 3999, with its disjointed imagery and apparently nonsensical strikethroughs.

I don't want this to sound harsh. But I don't know how this connects to the Foundationverse. I don't know what justification it has to stay on this particular site. I don't know what's happening at all. And if I don't even have a clue, I won't upvote.

Objectively, I can't offer much in the way of feedback/crit because 1) prose is definitely not my strong suit, and you know what you're doing and 2) I can't point at anything that strengthens/weakens/highlights/obscures your overall core because I don't know what said core is.

author?

dummyaccount0.pngmycontactlensesachesometimes 09 Dec 2017 20:45

Were there gonna bea ny more updated to the story? Its been a few weeks since this got posted and the series hasnt been updated.. Any news? I was looking forward to this and I'm wanting it to continue.

Hey I just found something

dummyaccount0.pngEvesDreamWorld 13 Dec 2017 01:22

Sensitive information edited out upon staff discussion. ~ Snow Halation

RE: Hey I just found something

dummyaccount0.pngFauxChickenPox 13 Dec 2017 01:25

Sensitive information edited out upon staff discussion. ~ Snow Halation

RE: Hey I just found something

dummyaccount5.pngganjaArson 13 Dec 2017 01:34

Sensitive information edited out upon staff discussion. ~ Snow Halation

RE: Hey I just found something

bohemianrhapsodyaccount.pngBohemian Rhapsody 13 Dec 2017 01:39

Sensitive information edited out upon staff discussion. ~ Snow Halation

RE: Hey I just found something

dummyaccount2.pngTammySammy 13 Dec 2017 02:07

Sensitive information edited out upon staff discussion. ~ Snow Halation

Admin Post - Closed

snowhalationaccount.pngSnow Halation 13 Dec 2017 02:13

Staff have had a snap discussion, and we're temporarily editing out these posts due to sensitive content and information. We'll be thinking about how to handle this in the future; don't keep posting about this in the discussion thread. Keep all posts on this discussion thread relevant to the tale. Any posts bringing up the content edited out here will result in an automatic temporary ban. Please be respectful as we try to figure out what to do.

This is a closed staff post. Do not reply to this post for any reason.

dummyaccount0.pngResearcher Talloran 15 Dec 2017 12:00

Hello? Can anyone see this? I'm undergoing some uh, some shit. Listen, just keep reading. Oh, right, right, navigation, yeah. Here's some navigation:




« The Moon Is a Dead World | Only Once Away My Son | Th Vmpr f Tm nd Mmr »
Hub


Just get to the next part. I just, I dunno, I need some time. That's all.

Staff Post - Open

perfectdayaccount.pngPerfect Day 15 Dec 2017 14:06

Researcher Talloran, roleplaying on the site is not allowed. All posts on this site must be out-of-character. The SCP Foundation is not a real site; it's a creative writing website. Thank you.

Staff Post - Deletion Vote

perfectdayaccount.pngPerfect Day 15 Dec 2017 12:00

Beginning deletion vote at -10. Article will be deleted 24 hours after the third deletion vote is cast.

If you are not the author and you want to rewrite this article, you may reply to this post asking for the opportunity to do so. Please obtain permission from the author (or the Rewrite Team if this article is older than 6 months) and make sure you copy the page source to your sandbox. Please do not reply to this post for any other reason unless you are staff.

dummyaccount0.pngbigmonstersrsupercool 15 Dec 2017 12:03

anyone kno why this hasnt updated yet im super confused

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