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— Pierre Menard, Director of Pataphysics
| Item #: SCP-4028 | Level 4/4028 |
| Object Class: Keter | Classified |
Fig 1.1: A depiction of SCP-4028 (engraving by Gustave Doré, circa 1863).
Special Containment Procedures: All assets available to the Department of Analytics and Pataphysics Department are to be dedicated to the containment and/or neutralization of SCP-4028. The application of anomalies and paratechnology to this end has been authorized.
A Foundation-operated bot (I/O-SILVER) is to review IntSCPFN servers for references to SCP-4028. Corrupted files are to be isolated and reported to the on-duty server administrator for review and correction.
All proposals for the containment and/or neutralization of SCP-4028 are to be immediately forwarded to the current director of the Pataphysics Department, Dr. Pierre Menard.1
Description: SCP-4028 is Alonso Quixano, the protagonist of Miguel de Cervantes' 17th century Spanish novel, El Ingenioso Hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha (The Ingenious Nobleman Sir Quixote of La Mancha, or Don Quixote). In Don Quixote, Alonso Quixano is a Spanish noble (or hidalgo) who goes mad from reading chivalric romances. He proclaims himself a knight-errant and takes the name Don Quixote de la Mancha, recruiting a simple farmer (Sancho Panza) to act as his loyal squire.2 Don Quixote was published by Cervantes in two parts (the first in 1605, and the second in 1615); it is widely considered to be one of the most influential works in Western literature.
SCP-4028 is a sapient metaphysical construct capable of inhabiting and altering digital or physical documents adjacent to the one it occupies. Adjacency is determined via references to persons, objects, or settings shared between documents. SCP-4028 alters the documents it enters to more closely fit its ideals of romantic chivalry.
As of 2007, SCP-4028 inhabits IntSCPFN servers, where it has continued to alter Foundation documentation.
Addendum 4028.1: Examples of Altered Documentation
| SCP ARTICLE | DEVIATIONS |
|---|---|
| SCP-055 | Alonso Quixano arrives on horseback and charges into SCP-055's containment cell, destroying the exterior wall. SCP-055 is revealed to be a beautiful princess who tells Alonso that because of his courage and virtue, her curse is lifted. She offers him her hand in marriage as compensation for his good deeds. He politely declines, telling her that a good deed is its own reward. Furthermore, his heart is sworn to his lovely Dulcinea.3 She wishes him well on his quest;4 they embrace, then part ways. |
| SCP-076 | As Alonso continues on his quest,5 SCP-076 unexpectedly attacks and knocks him from his horse. Alonso rises, salutes SCP-076 with his sword, and engages him in honorable combat. The battle lasts for the better half of the day, after which both men grow weary. Impressed by Alonso's prowess, SCP-076 admits that they are equally matched in matters of martial skill.6 The two begrudgingly acknowledge their respect for one another and part ways. |
| SCP-140 | The book (A Chronicle of the Daevas) has been replaced with a copy of La Historia de Don Quixote de la Mancha (or History of Don Quixote of La Mancha), a non-existent fictional text mentioned several times throughout Don Quixote (and falsely presented by the author, Cervantes, as the primary source for Don Quixote). The article briefly describes the contents of the book, which detail Alonso Quixano's many romantic adventures, ending with him retiring in glory, spending the rest of his days looking after windmills with his loyal squire.7 |
| SCP-682 | As Alonso Quixano continues on his quest to save his friend from the giants,8 SCP-682 emerges from its containment cell and attacks Alonso by breathing a wall of flame. Alonso bravely charges into the fire, suffering numerous burns. Ultimately, Alonso slays SCP-682 — but at the cost of dear Rocinante's life.9 |
| SCP-1013 | As Alonso Quixano continues on-foot, SCP-1013 emerges from its containment cell and paralyzes him with its gaze. Alonso struggles to break free, but SCP-1013 succeeds in biting through the grooves of his armor before he can strike it down. A process of ossification (transformation of soft tissue into bone) starts at the source of the bite and spreads into surrounding flesh. Weakened but unbowed, Alonso ventures on.10 |
| SCP-2200 | A swordsman with skin like silver and a sword of light steps forth to cut Alonso Quixano down.11 Though he fights with courage and honor, Alonso feels his body weakening beneath each successive blow.12 The swordsman scores several deep cuts. Alonso's blood petrifies even as it seeps from his wounds. With what strength remains in him, Alonso finally strikes the swordsman down.13 He limps forward, using his sword as a crutch.14 Though his wounds are grievous and fatal, he continues on.15 |
| SCP-4028 | Struggling for each breath, Alonso Quixano at last stands before Dr. Pierre Menard. It is only then that Alonso reveals his true identity: Sancho Panza, loyal retainer and proud squire for the bravest, noblest knight who has ever lived. Sancho attempts to return his master's sword. He cannot lift it; his many wounds overwhelm him. He falls. But just before he hits the ground — |
— an old fool catches him, and then...
...and then, I...
I...
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Otherwise, please contact this anomaly's current Containment Director (pmenard@scp.pataphysics) or email your IntSCPFN server administrator for more details.
