rating: +33+x

AKA: Stuff You Will Never Use, But Wanted To Share

The point of this page is simple. Everyone has pieces of stories, or articles, inside their head. Bits that you yourself may never use, but would still like to share/let someone else use. So, that's what this page is for.

We would like to condense and organize these snippets, so in the future please throw them under an appropriate tab above.

A tale for the Broken Masquerade canon where the Serpent's Hand tries to levitate the US Pentagon like they tried to do in the 1960s- and succeeds. Bonus points if you include these phrases:

"The Serpent's Hand will return the color blue to the visual spectrum once our demands are met!"

"It's over, it's over, the Charade/Masquerade is broken. It's over. It's over. The Serpent's Hand has spoken."

A bellerverse Tale about a bunch of people who tend to SCP-1514-1A as a holy relic of their sky-god and in return anything that attacks them gets smote via xasers from orbit.

A few Jenny Hanivers recovered somehow from the Circus Of The Disquieting. Not fakes made out of ray parts, live ones. In a fishtank.

A creature consisting of basically a brain, a bunch of tentacles some of which have boney "scalpels" on them, spider-like spinnerets, an amazingly powerful immune system and external blood vessels. It works by stealing parts from prey, using the clawed tentacles to remove organs from prey, the spinnerets to stitch the parts Frankenstein-like onto itself, and the immune system to keep itself from falling apart. It lacks any sort of digestive or respiratory systems unless it steals them from another creature and links itself into the bloodstream of the stolen organs. It is highly hostile and frequently attempts to escape and/or assimilate people.

A recovery log/Tale backstory for SCP-771.

SCP-993 and SCP-1592 compete for broadcast time-slots.

A native junkperson in SCP-967 encounters the foundation explorers for the first time.

The sixth tribe in SCP-967, a foundation analog. They work to keep the major junkmonsters and anomalies from wiping out the other tribes, and contain the knowledge of the abnormal by removing the memory-holding tape decks of junkcitizens who find out stuff. Like the outside world, which from their view is sort of a hellish alternate universe which kills anyone who enters it, and is inhabited by monsters unlike anything native to 967. They might not even be made of trash!

Who's to say that SCP-1585 has no effect on humans? Might be a good idea to make having a vasectomy mandatory for foundation personal on it.

A tale about the secret method by which the foundation gets Class-D personal.

Craigslist adds.

Someone on craigslist probably has a statue-watching/cleaning blood/dung mixture fetish. That solves 173 for example.

Needless to say, intended as a parody/crackfic.

A Tale in which SCP-1585 is sapient. Not the rapidly evolving ecosystem on it, the jellyfish itself. And is trying to make it's ecosystem into a death world with the intent of breeding a species of supersoldiers with a warrior race mentality.

SCP-1585 is a single organism, and it wants to reproduce. In layman's terms, it wants to conquer the universe.

In SCP-1296, mention is made of failure to chase it, or set up a roadblock due to it evading pursuit.

Let's see the Tale in which we have an action-movie-ish Llamamobile vs Foundation car chase.

A hoard of tiny, clockwork-looking, automated pieces of construction equipment. If left alone, they will create large buildings out of whatever, easy-to-transport local materials there are. Just lots of stone, or sand, or random junk quarried and placed into huge, ornate cathedral structures, which as far as the foundation can tell, have no abnormal properties. The buildings frequently have problems like lacking any way for the building machines inside to get out, or falling over due to being made entirely of rubbish. The builders are apparently capable of self-replicating as their population remains steady despite the foundation sometimes dissecting a few, or construction accidents, but nobody has seen them do so, or has any idea how they do it.

The SCP where recovered by a deep-sea submarine mission after radar showed an absolutely huge building they had created. Considering how slow they generally are, the foundation calculated it would have taken them ████ years to have completed it to the scale observed.

A parasitic, body-horror inducing SCP which causes bones to split, branch out, and start growing into sort of a "bone fractal" structure. I'm not sure of a good twist for it, I just had a nightmare regarding such a thing.

An SCP that is a pair of telepathic "signals" that randomly attach themselves to people and do two things: the first signal tells everyone within a certain radius to acknowledge the person affected by the signal in some way, and the second one transmits all sorts of information about the subject. (Name, age, address, pet's names, whether or not they've been affected by Chron's disease, the number of living skin cells on their body, length of toenails, what movies they've seen in the past 24 hours, other useless statistics). Originally developed by someone or something as a medical first-alert system, but.. it didn't work out as planned.

Six-hundred and sixty-six sick skippers suddenly start singing songs of sinking ships so that someday they shall stop Saturn from super-colliding with satire.

(I don't know what I was on when I wrote this. I'm thinking it could be incorporated into some kind of AWCY Dada rap or something.)

An SCP based on the concept "Loose Lips Sink Ships". Talking about a ship being sunk by the SCP will result in more ships sinking.

A device consisting of a large cage, a bunch of electronics which the foundation has absolutely no idea what's going on with, a dial, a switch and an electrical socket suitable for charging batteries. If a living animal or class-d is put in the cage, the dial will move to show an amount of voltage, apparently random, and if the switch is pulled, than the socket will proceed to charge any batteries placed in it with that amount of electricity. After being used once, the animal or class-d will, if placed back in the device never cause the dial to move again.

The twist is, it's harmless as far as the foundation can tell. The only effect of being drained is that you can't make the device create more electricity.

The foundation is tearing its hair out trying to find what the device is getting energy from.

A historic Wondertainment toy. Maybe a corn-husk doll, or hoop rolling game equipment. Not sure what the abnormal trait should be, I just think we need some Wondertainment stuff predating mass manufacturing.

A tiny, partially biological spaceprobe sort of like the plans for a starwisp of non-human creation. Apart from the biotechnological parts being impossible with present human technology, it seems to work off known scientific ideas for how a starship could be built. The damage to it seems to have been inflicted by a meteorite impact "stunning" it, then it drifting for a few million years off its intended course ending with it crashing into earth.

Inside, it has a bunch of chambers and equipment intended to work for genetic engineering and growth of living organic tissue, both for self-repair and expansion of biological parts and for the growth of "SCP-xxxx-2" specimens. SCP-xxxx-2 specimens consist of simple "meat robots" creatures which lack digestive/reproductive/respiratory systems instead running off stored fat and oxygen, intended simply to gather biomatter, which then is then stuffed into a "stomach" aboard the main ship for "digestion" and metal which is [DATA EXPUNGED] since recovery the ship has expanded by █ meters.

Presumably the reader would think, this is so it can build up enough biological tissue and machine parts to build a specimen of whatever created it….

The Orientation Tale for the foundation coverup writers. The people who make up cover stories.

The Orientation Tale for the foundation diplomatic workers. The people who would staff the embassy in SCP-1483's world for example.

Von Neumann Golems. In essence, each specimen is an animated sculpture with an [EXPUNGED] displaying some resemblance to Hebrew writing symbol under the carapace of the forehead. Assembly consists of chewing up materials, either the hollow "gut" produces sticky mucus-like material or heats up to melt metal, regurgitating the resulting cement-like substance, shaping it into a new specimen then using [DATA EXPUNGED] extends from the lower jaw to carve the symbol into the forehead of their offspring. The offspring animates, pushes a layer of semi-hardened material over its forehead to seal it, then waits to harden/dry/cool. This idea was one I had in regards to alterations to an existing SCP, I'll take it down from here if the author chooses to use it. Also, a few pictures which could probably make good images for this.
Image One
Image Two
Image Three
Image Four

A Tale in which SCP-106 is proven to be Mister Scary™ from Dr. Wondertainment's Little Misters™. Seems like it could be proven. If true, than "Mr. Scary, from Little Misters ® by Dr. Wondertainment" should be tattooed on SCP-106's left calf. Checking could be difficult however.

Also, SCP-076 could be Mr. Mad.

Wondertainment product/s intended to be marketed to the antarctic empire's world, or the university.

The IIPES report on their end of the dimensional gate and the primary SCP foundation world.

A swarm of tiny Von Neumann machine astrochicken-type spacecrafts. Basically intended to land, set up a small factory and get to work on an industrial plant for creating more "ships." Not human-made, found after meteorite shower or something. Not very fast at replicating, little risk of their grey-gooing the planet. Mostly rely on the fast that something had to have made the first ones for creepiness.

A "living" snowstorm. That is to say; a small, unending snowstorm with the characteristic that any snowmen/snow sculptures at least partiality made from snow it produced will animate and endeavor to self-replicate. They appear to share a hivemind with the snowstorm cloud as the "queen." Highly hostile to foundation agents and citizens, not very effectively as they're snowmen. Presumably would have been found in the arctic or antarctic as otherwise it would melt each season.

Dr. Wondertainment's attempt at a toy spaceship. Looks like a stereotypical pulp science-fiction rocket, about ten feet tall and with a hollow cabin which can be closed with an airtight door. Inside has a child-sized chair and simple, video-game-style joystick controls for moving in three dimensions and acceleration. There is no fuel supply, apparent place to put fuel or need for fuel. Unforgettably for any would-be astronaut, Wondertainment has shown his/her/its normal disregard for safety, the rocket can at maximum acceleration turn its pilot into gory slime on the floor of its cabin, and while its cabin seems to be radiation-proof and somehow maintain a self-renewing supply of air there's no room for food supplies, no bathroom, and steering the thing in space to the extent of getting home alive is exactly as hard as you'd expect.

The foundation got it after it crash landed in ███████ carrying an unidentified child's corpse, starved to death or crushed by acceleration.

A Tale regarding a class-XK event triggered by someone asking SCP-662 to build a superior version of itself, then ask the superior version to build a superior version of itself, ect.

Cue a SCP-based Singularity.

Some kind of creature which has an instinctive ability to control and/or build complex mechanical stuff. For example, it might be sort of squidlike in form and basically mummify the dashboard, steering wheel and pedals of a car in tentacles to allow it to operate it. Clearly not naturally evolved. Not intelligent apart from its technical skills, for example a den it could make would have gas heating and automated sentry guns but it can't communicate or recognize itself in a mirror.

A radio which picks up signals from its equivalent location in different parallel realities depending on how the tuning is set.

A Tale in which foundation researchers in the world reached by SCP-1483 find the Factory or Wondertainment products, sold openly and the resulting issues. Ends with the foundation having to pay SCP-1483-world police bail to get their researchers out of jail, for robbing a small business in an attempt at "containment." Much O-5 facepalming ensues.

A horrific body-horror inducing plague which forces its victims into homicidal rampages against the uninfected. The twist, it doesn't affect humans. Rather, just some randomly selected by the author species of small animal. Think 610, only for squirrels for an example.

Werewolves as an SCP. Before you shoot me, these are not your typical werewolves. Firstly, this particular type of lycanthropy is a genetic condition that is only carried by females; the presence of a Y chromosome, for some reason, makes it inactive. Secondly, they do not change with the lunar cycle, but with their menstrual cycle, and gradually change from 100% human to 100% lupine over the course of the cycle. Thirdly, they never stop undergoing oogenesis (the act of creating eggs, which is supposed to stop at birth), meaning they never run out of eggs and therefore never go through menopause. They're also fatally allergic to silver, and can more easily be killed with it, but anything fatal to a human will kill them just as easily.

In SCP-111 there's this quote.

By reading this document and incubating your Dragon-Snail™ eggs, you agree to all said terms and forfeit your rights to lawsuits, organized boycotts, protests, honor duels, etc.

This means, at least once someone challenged Dr. Wondertainment to an honor duel over Dragon-Snails burning their house down. And considering the need for a note, apparently won.

That needs to be a Tale.

A first-person-shooter videogame set in the middle of a few kilometer area in Alaska, at least ██ kilometers from civilization. Seems unfinished, the copy the foundation has lacks enemies, most of the sounds are defaults, ect. When turned on, in the part of Alaska where the game is set, a creature resembling the player character will appear. Said creature can be moved by the game controls, and on the game screen the player can see things as they actually are in the real word, although with graphics and health bars like the game. Attempting to move the player character to the edge of the game world will have it vanish and return to spawn point, the same happens when the foundation tries to take the creature out of the equivalent of the game world. Trying to harm the creature just leads to decreasing health for the player character, and a "you died - re-spawn?" message and the body vanishing making dissection and other such studies impossible.

A set of three chemicals developed by a failed project at Prometheus Labs. Chemical A grants superhuman strength, Chemical B grants telepathy and superhuman senses, and chemical C grants flight and superhuman speed. What's so bad about that? For one thing, once the chemicals enter your blood stream, they cannot be turned "off"; you'll always be super humanly strong and have to hear people's thoughts, for example. Secondly, real world physics apply; go too fast and your organs get liquefied, or you just catch on fire. Go too high up in the atmosphere with flight and you freeze to death, or run out of oxygen and fall to your doom. Shake someone's hand too hard with super strength, [DATA EXPUNGED]. The point here is to deconstruct superpowers, and why they would suck in the real world.

A DIY style computer including a human brain as the CPU as well as vital organs for life support. As a result has massive memory storage, effective functions. Does not appear to still be sapient. DNA of brain and organs matches matches ████████ supposedly kidnapped in █████. Apart from being very fast and having a lot of memory storage doesn't really show many abnormal traits for a computer in terms of software. Just a good-working homemade computer which happens to be made out of a kidnapped victim.

Some sort of monster made of high-tech equipment. Maybe sort of a robotic thing which assimilates any other form of electronics it gets its grippers on. In an attempt at stopping it from growing, containment procedures would basically consist of guards armed with longbows, and a few sticks of TNT as an emergency site self-destruct.

A project-crossover Tale. Star Trek is rife with missed opportunities and blindness regarding the application of the technology available. There usually end up being more rationalizations and justifications as to why something doesn't do something useful than techo-babble about how it works in the first place. The original series had an episode involving a plant that could cure any disease, and regrow severed limbs for an example. The plant was conveniently forgotten in all future episodes.

It's almost like some organization is still around, amnesiac-ing people who find it then locking the anomalous stuff up…..

Santa. Not as a -J but as an all-powerful reality bender just sitting around in the arctic, unable to be sneaked up on or captured. Not only that, but he knows what the foundation is, and he knows about the relatively harmless humanoids that hate being here. He knows about 110-Montauk. Guess who's on the naughty list?

A tale in which SCP-962 starts expanding the range it sends former animal "servitors" to work in. To the point where keeping the hoards of animals contorted by mechanical implants into crude mockeries of the human form killing any other animals they comes across and helping people out sort of like the "excessively helpful" humanoids mentioned at the bottom of this page out of public knowledge is impossible.

The back half of a broken plastic squirt-gun. Not abnormal as far as the foundation can tell, just highly radioactive and with….


….printed on it. Found following a [DATA EXPUNGED] disaster of some sort.

A chain letter. Very specifically written, misspelled, the grammar is horrible but believable considering some stupid chain letters people fall for. Tells the person who gets it to copy it out and send it to ten more people or a "monster" will kill them complete with very specific description of the "monster." In event of the letter not being copied, misspellings and all, a creature resembling the "monster" will show up, attack and vanish. The process in event of foundation personal getting infected would be to have them tell ten class-D personal who would then be shot.

Some sort of drug which has two effects.
1. Cannabis-like mental weirdness.
2. Gives the person using it temporary reality-warper powers which last as long as the "trip" does.

Inspired by posts in the chat thread for SCP-1958.

A species of tree which will open small dimensional "oddities" near it causing abnormal things to happen at random. A single tree can't really do anything major but a grove of them is able to "puncture" reality spreading seeds between the many worlds of the foundation universes sort of like SCP-507's power. Also makes a great defense mechanism for the tree having herbivores moved out of the same dimension as it.

A toy car that will act like a real one. That is to say, it will move by itself to drive along roads, stop at gas stations and generally act like a normal car apart from being a toy and not having any driver.

A fragment of organic tissue, apparently part of an animal. DNA tests and simple appearance shows it to be of no known species. Maybe a gigantic severed leg ending in a single claw or a weird, nonhuman skull or something.

When touched by any living animal or person the part of the animal or person which made contact with it will "stick" being peeled off their body and incorporated into the tissue fragment. DNA tests of the part peeled off the victim will reveal it is changing to match tissue from the fragment, replacing bits of it.

Whatever creature the fragment was part of is healing…..

A bunch of eggs, each about a quarter-meter long. Slightly warm indicating they are alive, and made out of something which has resisted all attempts at drilling into it for study. The foundation has no idea what they will hatch into, or when they hatch. Candling and other tests have proven inconclusive.

A Tale in which Lord Blackwood in his present slug form meets SCP-1227. Both proceed to have a very odd conversation, as each of them perceives themselves as normal whereas they are actually a sea slug and a gigantic squicky mass of body horror.

A biological organism that doesn't die. Instead it expires. Literal expiration date like on food products, at which point [REDACTED]

A swarm of tiny flying creatures or micro-robots which look like snowflakes. Can "swarm" people, and the edges of their wings are sharp.

Wondertainment Face-paint - will change the coloration of any biological matter it is applied to, not like tattoos but like birthmarks. Brightly colored birthmarks. Can permanently blind if it gets on eyes by turning the eyes colored. Needless to say has a "keep away from eyes" note in typical wondertainment style.

Creature/s living on a beach which make nests that look like sandcastles. With moats, decorative sticks, ect.

A heartwarming Tale involving a wedding of two of the faithful in church.

"And now two are united in marriage as His Cogwheels and Gears shall reunite when He is made whole…."

A migratory herd of toy trucks.

A horrific monster with the personality of a cute and cuddly puppy. The nightmare fuel comes from both the fact that it really doesn't know its own strength leading to loads of deaths when it tries to play with people, and how the foundation treats it.

Dr. Wondertainment's Mini-Cities™: Just plant the city-seed™, water and be ready to govern your own little city of little people!

Results may vary.

Adventures of Lord Blackwood, explorer and gentleslug.

Lord Blackwood in UnLondon

Lord Blackwood at Sea: A voyage to capture a whale-like monster preying upon shipping. Throw in pirates, storms, a rather odd castaway, other adventures joining the hunt, and his ship itself and this may be more of a threat to His Lordship than it seems….

Lord Blackwood and the Sky-Discs: His Lordship takes to the skies in an airship on the hunt for a flock of strange flying animals, unlike anything ever seen before. Add in the problems of a predatory flying jellyfish pulling people from the airship and swarms of airborne robots eating the airship out from under its crew make this a rather odd trip.

Lord Blackwood on the Dark Continent: A thrilling expedition 'cross Darkest Africa for the rarest of beasts, the eye-pods.

Lord Blackwood and the Tower:

"This is the task you must do…" announced the Wonderful Wizard of Wondertainment. "KILL FOR ME 682!"

"In return, you Pesterbot will be granted the power to carry out your threats. You, Lord Blackwood will have your humanity restored. You, Able shall be granted a heart and the power to love.

Any you Dr. Clef will be allowed to return home to the SCP foundation. And take your pet Dragon-Snail with you."

A Dyson sphere found by non-foundation scientists who where later given amnesiacs. No radio signals coming from it or anything, just the whole fact that something out there exists. And is advanced enough to build a Dyson sphere. The foundation containment process basically consists of giving amnesiacs to anyone who finds out about it, and trying to keep anyone from sending a radio signal powerful enough to be detected near it.

A tale in which Serpent's Hand operatives having broken into a foundation containment site try to convince an apparently intelligent SCP to escape with them. Pity for them that the SCP they found is robo-dude™.
Meant to be humorous, with a mix of Serpent's Hand dramatic speeches about SCP freedom and "robo-dance™."

On an SCP that erases the memories of whatever it is told from everyone but the teller:

Subject D-42 enter the enclosure, and told the SCP 'Two plus Two is Four.' There was no reaction for approximately five minutes, at which point D-42s head exploded.

On an viral SCP that causes people to have sex with random strangers:

If this gets out, we could be looking at a XXXK event!

A business called Tonk and Revelstoke's.

A "tooth fairy" SCP that rips teeth from people's heads and uses it to fuel itself.

Victims of a freeze ray. Their outer molecule in stasis and cannot be damaged in anyway. Their innards have long since rotted away, but without anywhere for the fluids to go, they… slosh…

"As long as I live, the humiliation will color my perception with the tint of his arrogance!" (Now stay out of my head!)

"The lion shines and its roar blinds."

Just a group of a bunch of normal numbers that add up to different totals when you add them in a different order. Like, maybe twenty or so three-digit numbers.

A cold- or flu-like disease that spreads by memetic vectors instead of the normal transfer of microorganisms.

(videotape recording of D-class sick with the Memetic Cold) "Achoo, man this cold is kicking my butt"
(previously healthy agent) "So what the heck is this? You wanted me to watch securidy foodage of some guy with a head code? *phlegmy cough* how did I just ged sick?"

Those ads on the sides of the screen? The ones that have fun, cute little games you can play? They're not really there. No one ever programmed those in. Instead, the second that you click on one of them, you're a tool of an unknown force. Every click, every attempt to get the egg in the bucket or kick the donkey… goes to something. Fuck knows what, but it's going somewhere.

A set of five disguises made out of flesh, each one corresponding to a UN ambassador on the security council: USA, France, Great Britain, Russia, Taiwan (people's republic of china). Found mid-'90s.

Terrestrial life form. Has a thin membrane filled with lighter-than-air gas saturated with natural phosphorescent chemicals. Not particularly carnivorous but have been known to lure and share small prey like young deer. 'Deflate' in the daytime. Reside in Australia. The article's aim is 'interesting/cute', not 'scary'. Yes, it's an SCPification of this.

A containment procedure in search of a chemical SCP:

A song that causes the listener's heart to beat in tune with the music. Speeding/slowing the beat of the song has obvious detrimental effects. No one can quite recall what the tune was or how the song went.

An SCP that rearranges parts of things into other useful things for its own use. Maybe living organisms or something.

An electric mixer with no batteries or power cord: it runs on music.

A magnifying glass works only at night, and which can do with moonlight what any magnifier can do to an ant in sunlight.

A lock that, when locked, would stay stuck in the same place (although still moving with the Earth's rotation, etc.).

A humanoid SCP, with the ability to alter the world simply by speaking. However, he isn't too smart, being in his mid teens. Containment protocol and an incident log:

Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX has been fitted with an electronic voice modulation unit, to prevent him from accidentally using his powers. He is allowed freedom to roam the site at will. He has been set up in a regulation humanoid containment cell, with access to whatever material he might desire to keep him entertained. SCP-XXX is currently in daily training exercises with Dr Bright in order to aide his judgment. Following incident XXX-63, containment procedures have been altered. SCP-XXX is installed in a regulation humanoid containment cell. It is to remain strapped to its bed, and fed intravenously. While the removal of its tongue may have been enough to remove its powers, care is to be taken to ensure its lips remain sewn together. Should subject persist in attempting to speak, removal of vocal chords will be considered.

Log Snippet:
Doctor Bright and SCP-XXX aka Tommy are seated at a table, Tommy's voice modulator behind Dr. Bright. They are speaking amiably, and have been for some time.
Bright: Tommy, you really need to get this through your head. We're not trying to hurt you. We want you to be able to work WITH your powers. You can't just speak your mind. Imagine if you had had said the 'pants on fire' thing to Agent Smith WITHOUT your modulator. It would not have been funny.
Tommy: Might have been. You don't… He pauses, looking for a word choice. You haven't seen that.
Dr. Bright leans back, sighing.
Bright: All right Tommy. That's it for today. Time to get your Modulator back on. Dr. Bright turns away.
Tommy: Muttering. You Foundation guys are literally worse than Hitler.
Dr. Bright stops moving. He turns slowly back towards SCP-XXX, a glint in his eye. A quick movement causes his jacket to cover the camera. Then SCP-XXX begins screaming. This goes on for thirty minutes, the screams becoming less articulate as it goes on, until the tape cuts off.

Something that is immune to bullets and projectiles of all types. Not a shield, some sort of creature. Preferably based off some mythological critter that is, itself, immune to projectiles. Point behind this is that the containment and retrieval stuff requires close combat.

Forever here this door shall sit,
A rift in reason and in rhyme;
A pox on those who would commit
A treason 'gainst the flow of time.

Windmills - something that grinds up stuff creepily (though that would have to work hard to be a not-repeat of other SCPs), or something that would power something the Foundation really, really doesn't want powered. Or windmills - a whole field of windmills that blow in conjunction with some other world's wind? Windmills that draw things to them?

A shopping cart that acts like a dog: bonds with the person who touches it, likes to "play" - run fast, go around in circles, play chase - will bump you affectionately, chase off other things/people/carts it views as a threat to bonded subject, etc.

SCP with the sole gimmick of being literally uncontainable.

SCP - A contract expiry announcement from a PR company. Any non human entity (Company, country, church, store, event) who holds it will be repeatedly subjected to more and more PR and in-entity disasters (Like losing important files, accidents destroying essential property…)

SCP contained within a Timezone.

SCP whose containment involves reading it stories of murder. Fresh ones every time. Published fiction works best.

Humanoid SCP with highly aggressive immune system, able to deal with infections before they enter the body

Children's fairy-tale book that, when read, causes the reader to regress chronologically, to something like six or seven. Reader hears voice of an elderly woman reading aloud, illegible writing on the inside of the book cover - only readable part says "Love, Granny" or something.

A story somehow incorporating SCP-ARCs and SCP-Ds together to restart a universe after an X#-Class Scenario deletes it.

A traffic cone which, when placed on a road, cannot be moved by motor vehicles. IE: Concrete traffic cone.

SCP-169 is stated to be between 2000 and 8000 km long. This is a big descrepancy, so what if there are two of them each around 3000 km long? The Tale would be a diary of a survivor who watched the news of them coming ashore, devastating southern South America, shrugging off military might, breeding, and spreading across the Earth.

A Foundation Tale pertaining to Project Longshot entitled, "The Longest Shot." An alternate history, or perhaps set in the near future, in which the project is completed and the spacecraft launched. In the 104 or so years it takes the craft to reach Alpha Centari and transmit data back to earth, humanity has been wiped from the face of the planet. Somewhere, a radio might crackle to life and begin blaring odd static. A monitor or two may light up at NASA mission control, even though they rightfully shouldn't, gazed upon by many eager eyes, none belonging to anything capable of comprehending the information on the LCD panels before them.

It would contrast the success of the mission with how little it meant, making subtle implications as to why humanity is gone, when the race died out, and what may have changed.

A basis for a story: For a group (or race, planet, person, I don't know) with advanced technology, it would be easy to make something designed to be found by scientists. Just by making an object that's inexplicable enough, and leaving it somewhere, one stands a good chance that it will eventually end up in the hands of researchers. Say, the Foundation.

A pair of MTFs who work together to remove information from either the public eye or within the Foundation when members are promoted to certain positions- the Sin Eaters, who disappear people, and the Silverfish, who disappear information.

An anomalous original copy of the Declaration of Independence (or possibly the Constitution) held at the Foundation's branch in the National Archives.

"You don't understand! I'm trying to help you!"

It is said we are born in the infinite darkness, and to it we will return.
And those that would believe these words often cower behind them, using them to excuse themselves from bringing light to this world.
But should a star not shine simply because it is a difficult task?
Simply because they too must return to the void?
What would become of this world if our brethren, the stars, stopped giving their nurturing light?
The same that comes when we stop giving off ours.

Commercials I hear (U.S. based):
"SCP Johnson - a family company!"

And then I think of Soap From Corpses and it all goes weird.

An SCP thats like a toy dog bone and when a dog buries it, it grows into a tree that has more toy bones coming off of it.
And then those toy bones can grow new trees propagating the cycle.

SCP-963 is a interesting place to mine for tale ideas. As an example, there is one (type of) individual that should be immune to its effects - a Jack Bright that went past the 30 day mark. So if the Foundation wants an expert watching Bright, who better then a Bright to anticipate what he's up to? And they've (sort of) given him what he wants: That version can live out a normal life and finally die.

An -EX SCP; the original lay person explanation about "Many Worlds Quantum" was that every decision, every coin toss generated a new universe. Later, it's "Undetermined until observed, when it collapses the wave and resolves". So now, instead of creating universes we're destroying them. Not sure how/why but what if, like SCP-8900-EX, something changed. Something awful. And now we have to live with it.

A tale about the CotBG winning by reassembling their god, but rather than it taking over the world it simply ascends to a more clockwork plane of existence taking its followers with it. Much Foundation faceplaming results at the realization that an enemy wining just got them permanently out of the Foundation's hair.

A tale in which we see what keeps wild SCP-831 from taking over the world… they find SCP style items of their own and try to use them wiping out their hives as a result

An item which can only be described in insults regarding the item.

A sloth that is capable of passively absorbing nutrients and calories from the surrounding environment. On any other animal, it might not be a big deal, but with a maximum speed of less than 2 km/h, it can destroy large swaths of rainforest in a matter of days.

A SCP which was formerly a foundation Agent who got captured by one of the GOIs and exposed to something. The foundation only found out who their new SCP once was by DNA tests. Not a useful change, more body horror and nightmare fuel that the Agent might still be self-aware under whatever was done to them.

An SCP that consists of a barrel of totem-shaped penises with the shafts being in the shape of various 'baramins' of animals. When touched by a female belonging to said 'baramin', the female will become pregnant.

The offspring will live to around just after reaching sexual maturity. Their birth will cause the mother to ignore all pre-existing offspring and their death will cause the mother to undergo severe depression. Usage of the SCP renders the female infertile except for subsequent uses of the SCP.

A "How To Draw Anime" book, which when in contact with a picture or video that contains humans, will turn all instances of that picture or video into a stylized, 'anime' version of whatever is depicted in the picture or video.

"Have you ever had one of those moments you just wished you could be a fly on the wall?
Wish granted.
Are We Cool Yet?"

An anomalous crime scenario involving a mass murder situation that always leaves only two suspects/witnesses remaining after the event with some sort of connection or relation that could make them accomplices. One or both of the suspects will either claim responsibility for the murders themselves or blame the other suspect, and will give an account of the crime that supports their claim, while the other will assert said account cannot be true, giving their own account of the event that conflicts with or contradicts the first. In any case, evidence recovered at the crime scene will be compatible with both accounts, but may be insufficient to give a clear picture of what happened. If the crime is not correctly "solved", i.e. authorities figured out exactly what happened during the event (who was responsible for which death, which details of either story are true, whose idea was it, etc.), within a certain amount of time, both suspects will self-terminate in a manner consistent between incidents, usually with a murder tactic or implement they or the other supposedly used during the crime, and the event will repeat itself some time later.

Each instance of the crime will have some elements that denote it as an instance of the SCP, i.e. implements used or manner of death of at least one victim, but will otherwise create an entirely new scenario so study of previous instances does not provide any clues to subsequent ones.

Not exactly sure how this would be contained, or even if it is contained, what makes it spread, how it would recognize having been "solved", how the Foundation finds out it needs to be solved, etc.

A small-scale replica/floor plan of [your choice of city here] made of dominoes. Formations collapse of their own accord when corresponding buildings in the real city are damaged or destroyed, and vice versa. Might possibly be connected to AWCY.

An anomalous Halloween decoration that either turns people into black cats or produces black cats with human intelligence at regular intervals.

SCP-J idea: "The [EXPLETIVE] You Button!tm" An "easy button"-esque device that, when pressed, emits the aforementioned phrase (sans censorship) and injures the person that pushed it, usually via a random object thrown from an indeterminate origin point.

A God that disguises itself in the costume of a fake God because it enjoys messing around with mortals.

A tale consisting of entries in a diary the Foundation recovered from the home of a child who had heard or read a description of SCP-1128. Parents probably would think he was just overreacting from reading/hearing too many scary stories until it was too late, or maybe parents began showing symptoms of infection as well.

A scp involving the concept of ceremorphosis where an organism either hatches from a skull like an egg or eats the brain and mutates the body as part of its life cycle like a mind flayer or head crab.

A crashed vessel recovered from the crater in mexico.

A chick tract parody for the CotBG.

SCP idea: A mummified corpse resembling a deformed human recovered from an MC&D auction. Included with it were several "tags" bearing writing in an ancient Chinese script. Corpse becomes animate when one or more of these tags is applied to the body, with each tag causing it to exhibit different behaviors, e.g. "serve", "attack", "guard", etc. Based somewhat on popular depictions of the Jiang-shi, a Chinese zombie-like creature.

A Project crossover Tale in which the foundation deploys Mobile Task Force Omega-Seven back when it had Able in it, in an attempt to contain a small town in which a bunch of animals had been turning up drained of blood.

A small town called Forks….

Also referred to as:

Able and Dr. Clef working together to kick sparkly butt!

A tale in which the leader of the Serpent's Hand (or a faction thereof) reaches out to a college student and has said student found AWCY? as a counterpart to the Serpent's Hand.

An SCP object made by AWCY… but what catches the Foundation's interest isn't the object itself so much as the vandalism done to it in response. Said vandalism is clearly done by someone other than AWCY, yet it seems to be creating its own anomalous effects which appear to be a mockery of/a response to/interfering with the intent of the original object. Over the "Are We Cool Yet?" logo would be graffiti reading something along the lines of "YES, UR F@(KING C00L NAO! 3NUF OF TH15 BU11$H17!" ("leetspeak" obfuscation not necessary)

A product/drug (possibly smoked) developed by MC&D-employed scientists. Modeled after something made and used by the Fifth Church that they stole that they heard about from a converted club member.

Someone or something that makes people do musical numbers. I don't mean like that -J curtain that made people do showtunes, I mean something that causes mass quantities of people to break out in choreographed song-and-dance routines, disregarding their safety or present situation.

Brain worms that lay eggs which look exactly like Q-tips. An unsuspecting victim decides to start cleaning his ears and suddenly realizes that what he was using disappeared from his hand. Months later, their barely breathing body trudges through drugstores, pulling pristine Q-tips out of its nose and inserting them into the appropriate packaging. Depending on the angle, could be either a real article or a -J.

A humanoid SCP whose containment procedures require it to be inebriated at all times.

The Toynbee Tiles turning out to be an SCP; due to the relatively widespread knowledge of them and their public appearances, containment would focus on suppressing knowledge of its anomalous effects.

Due to a shortage of Amnesiacs of all classes (not just Class A) following a raid on a production plant by a GoI (CI, ORIA, Serpents Hand, or GOC), The Foundation is forced to ration amnesiacs until further notice, leading to several suicides and deaths thanks to things that cannot be unseen or memes getting out of control.

A "Who's on first?"-esque skit about a Nobody sighting.

"It's not like we're keeping we're keeping Hilter's brain in a jar. Okay, yea - we actually are but it's in formaldehyde! Well, of course it's dead, don't be an idiot!"

A tour of a Wondertainment factory a la Roald Dahl.

Titles for The Collected Works of The Foundation

  • The Works of Dr. Gears
  • Notes from Dr. Alto Clef
  • Professor Kain Tales

(Damnit - I had ones for Bright…)

An SCP comprised of a large quantity of "excessively helpful" humanoid beings that follow a "target" around and provide him or her with courteous assistance in anything they attempt to do. And they are everywhere. Approaching a door? They open it for you from the other side. Shoe untied? One's already on it. Hungry? One of them already made you dinner somehow while hiding inside your fridge. Out of toilet paper? One comes out of the medicine cabinet with a fresh roll. They'll do anything for you to the best of their ability whether you want them to or not, and they don't take "no" for an answer.

A tale involving explicit details on how to execute Procedure 110-Montauk mistakenly being sent via E-mail to a small town.

A (very) junior researcher failing to explain Procedure 110-Montauk.
Also, a very dramatic and serious tale about SCP-789-J.

A tale where some researchers and scips play DnD/Pathfinder/insert tabletop RPG here.

Able and the Lizard optional, 181 recommended.

If you can somehow make 173 play, you have my seal of approval.

"Your mom" as a joke SCP. Alternatively, the "she" in "that's what she said".

A joke SCP about some horrible vile creation that turns out to be a vacuum, the joke being that it was written by Kain Pathos Crow. Of course I would recommend getting his permission first.

An oil rig that has a seemingly infinite oil supply. Due to the interest of companies and outside groups, the SCP would need some lengthy containment procedures.

A piano that plays the musician.

"Please, come back," the half-formed creature rasped. "I need you."

096 discovers Instagram.

And MTF dealing with a cheese-based SCP called the "Gouda Grenadiers".

An object that only exists in a certain hour/minute/secondof the day. Either every single day, or once a week, month, year, ect. Whenever the time it exists in it runs out, it ceases to exist with no signs as to it ever being there.

A group of normal people stuck in a house in some implausible location, no memory of how they got there. Every so often, creepy candid-camera type videos of them get posted to the internet. Nobody in the house has reported any sort of cameraperson.

A guy that is afflicted by the condition that no matter where he goes he becomes wanted by the authorities, with wanted posters changing to show his face or even appearing out of thin air. As he got older the effect began to increase, with his face appearing in newspapers and even on TV and radio, as well as the charges increasing from small offenses like theft to large offenses like murder and/or terrorism. Eventually he showed up as a person of interest with ties to a GoI on one of the Foundations databases who sent out an MTF for him.

An SCP centered around a political party that is entirely made up of cannibals. Should be called The Donner Party.

A video game. At first, it seems to be a AI who modifies the game in its favor, but it's really a reality bender trapped within the video game. He begs the foundation to let him go.

Plaque/sign above an ice cream vending machine reads: "Paul M. Ehrweiler, the oldest man alive, also has some of the world's strangest eating habits. He only eats when, at irregular intervals, he purchases a treat from this very machine. He is 153 years old — so old that scientists say he may not even age. Paul cannot see what you purchase."

A demon of some sort that moves around in a location (such as a house, or a hospital) at an extremely high speed. It appears to follow some sort of routine, and does so X number of times a day. Variances include manifestations of humans, also moving at this speed, that the demon interacts with in ways well just use your imagination. We cannot physically interact with it, and it is not inherently dangerous. Hooks… the presence of D-Class subjects during iterations. Ideas… we're peaking through at another dimension, possibly a partition of some kind of Hell, and we see things move there at a much faster rate. What is this thing's purpose? Can it see us? What happens if we destroy the environment where it manifests? When it interacts with the manifested humans, does anything get left behind?

A collection of notes regarding television programming from widely known media sources that seem to hint at some higher force influencing the nature of television programs. Probably not good as a skip, probably better as a skip-as-tale.

Someone saw a face near the sun. It peaks out from behind the sun occasionally. Can everyone see it? Is it threatening?

On a mountain in X you can see four white humanoid figures at the peak, motionless. You have the feeling that you're making eye contact when you look up at them. They're not always there, and when you go up to find them they're the same distance away from you. They also seem to be present in a few photographs you have lying around. They look like they might be moving closer.

Project crossover idea: Commander Shepard (Mass Effect) discovers abandoned Foundation space containment facility with uncontained SCPs. Foundation may or may not have worked with Cerberus. Sometime before Mass Effect 3.

A tale about 239's infant years. I always had an idea that she created 597 after she inadvertently destroyed her hospital.

An SCP about a faucet that pours acid instead water, no matter where it is installed. The acid comes from another dimensions and is highly corrosive, capable of destroying absolutely anything - including diamonds. Keter-class?

PRAGUE is an old city. It has been falling apart at the seams for centuries. It is not long before PRAGUE dissolves into the logical subterranean chaos that is the foundation of our consensus reality.

That's not to say you can't have a little fun first. Utilizing the lastest advancements in computer science, our team of Underminers has fathomed into the unknowable, risking the destruction of two dimensions to discover these 218 amazing ways that YOU can HACK PRAGUE.

A story that SCP-106's pocket dimension controls 106, and that more 106's could be created by the pocket dimension

Puppy dog eyes as an anomalous event that is a cognito hazard, where puppy dog eyes force whoever sees them to either forget any wrong a dog has done, or give them food or let them out.

Metaphors are traditionally understood as figurative constructs that link otherwise unrelated things together. This is arrogance. Our world is simply the set of things that serve to link metaphors together.

"In lieu of recent events" - it's thought to be a miswording in Dr. Bright's bio. But what if it's not? What if history was rewritten to stop an XK event, with Jack saving the world by being trapped for all eternity?

When Dr. Bright was initially killed and imprisoned in SCP-963, it was during a containment breach of SCP-076-2. What if ORIGINALLY he dropped it a half second before dying and ABLE became trapped in the amulet instead?

Skip Idea: A beaver that was reincarnated as a chainsaw. But it still remembers the dirty catholics that ate it as a hangover cure after Mardi-Gras (look it up), and seeks revenge to this day. Only then can it rest. Only then.

Something with a Texas take on it:

"The name's Dark. Carter N. Dark. MARSHALL Carter N. Dark" (Pulls out six shooter and fires at the camera.)

A wild west themed SCP.

A memetic contagion that is an internet meme.

Write a tale where a conspiracy theory magazine learns of the Foundation's existence.

A pharaoh with the head of a turtle. Maybe have the turtle head be detachable?

A skip based on the Roland TB-303 synthesizer and the 80's 'acid rave' culture it revolved around. Why was it so underground? Did people really get shitfaced on drugs? Why were the media and police so against it? And more importantly: Is the movement really dead?

Don't forget the yellow smiley faces.

SCP #### is a China doll of some sort. Whenever anyone touches SCP ####, scp reforms into the person who touched it but when they were a kid. This can be useful for finding the origin of various scps.

A man with multiple personality syndrome that when he switches personality his body reforms into that figure.

A "beware of dog" sign that turns dogs into hellish creatures.

Do some skip involving platypuses with human faces on their backs. It's a mated pair and two litters of baby platypuses. The runt of the second litter died. It had a gulper eel's face on its back. Gross.

icy, glacial settlement
people live in it
they seem normal
is illusion
they dont look like people; faces distorted
real fuckin creepy an shit
pretend to be people
get sinister when you know what they look like

some guy who's so boring it friggin' hurts. Gives off an aura that makes people so unbelievably bored that they can't stand it anymore. Thinks he's some accountant or some shit. Holy hell, this guy is dull. If his routine is broken the boredom aura expands super fast and it sucks major balls. If you can make this better, then major props, bro

These are ideas I was thinking about. If any of you guys wanna put your spin on it I don't care! You don't even have to credit me!

1. Food that turn into corpses when they expire.
2. Cliche green goo that has a crisis when contained.
3. A dimension where everything is alive and it all screams.
4. Dr. Wondertainement's BOOK OF LEARNING! [DISCONTINUED]
5. A theme park that is growing bigger and bigger and will not stop making rides out of other houses and structures.

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