Transcript of Autopsy 3-12-2015AC
"All right. This is Dr. Jack Bright, recording autopsy 3-12-2015AC. Subject is a humanoid male, age indeterminate. Subject is believed to be James Halforth, also known as Agent Alto Clef, or <a sharp whistle is heard.>"
"At this time, identification is impossible through means of retinal scans, as subject's eyes appear to have melted out of their sockets. Fingerprints are likewise missing due to flame damage. Dental records are conversant with those of Dr. Clef. Several tissue and bone marrow samples have been taken, revealing a DNA match. At this point, I would offer odds that there is a 90 percent probability that this is the corpse of Alto Clef."
"External observation shows the subject has received fourth-degree burns over ninety-seven percent of his body. In many places, subject's clothes have melted into his flesh… this is kind of icky. What? Yes, I know I'm supposed to be professional about this, but you're the guys who insisted I do this autopsy! It's not my field, you know…"
"…What risk of memetic infection? Oh, fuck you guys. Fuck you guys hard."
"Right, cracking him open now. Smells kind of like roast pig. Oooh, yup, he's good and steamy on the inside. All major organs are roasted and black. It appears, hold on, let me make a cut. Yes, it appears as if the subject would have asphyxiated before burn trauma would have killed him. Hold on, whats this?"
"There is an anomalous object in the subject's stomach. Object appears to be a metal ball, approximately seven inches in diameter. Hold on, let me, yup, there is a hinge, opening it up. Object is hollow, and contains a sheet of paper, which is addressed to… me. Of course. Letter reads:"
I had to do it this way. I'd heard the rumors. I knew the O5s were going to try and promote me. I couldn't stand the idea of being stuck there, not actually doing anything, weighed down by paperwork. I know it works for you, but it's not me. In the end, I had to go out the way I lived, doing things no one else would think of. In the end, it was obvious. 682 WANTED us to destroy him. He was stuck, and couldn't go on as long as he was in this form. So, I talked to him, and figured it out. The whole lizard thing, it was just a cocoon. I'm sorry about what this will end up doing to 001, but, in the long run, I just don't care. Goodbye Jack, don't let them drag you down.
"No, no, it's just dust or ash or something, in my eye. You know what? I'm done here guys. This was Clef. He was a damned good agent. And I'll miss him. Tell the O5's we're not burying him at Site Omega, there just isn't enough left to be useful. And he deserves to rest."