Log Of Anomalous Items
rating: +244+x

Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future.
– Doctor █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██

Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.

Item Description: An unbreakable lamp.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, ████
Current Status: Kept in Doctor Rights' office in Site-██.
Notes: This was one of the first items categorized as "Anomalous" and denied full SCP classification, due to lack of value in further research and little need for special containment.

Item Description: A penny which, when flipped, will always land "heads up".
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████, ███████
Current Status: Shipped off to permanent storage.
Notes: Can’t believe that none of the researchers kept this to win bets with.

Item Description: An ordinary brand ███████ number 2 pencil, which will balance easily on its tip for hours at a time.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███████, ████████
Current Status: Incinerated.
Notes: I’m not even sure why this was an anomaly. Maybe it just had a very flat tip.
Notice: Destroying anomalous items without appropriate permission is a major violation of Foundation policy. See that this does not occur again. — Site Director █████ █████.

Item Description: A painting (possibly a landscape, records are unclear) that gave a mild case of diaphragmatic spasms, or hiccups, to anyone who saw it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███████, ███████
Current Status: Incinerated.
Notes: This would obviously be a pain to work with, but shouldn't they at least try to see how it worked?
Notice: Destroying anomalous items without appropriate permission is a major violation of Foundation policy. See that this does not occur again. — Site Director █████ █████.

Item Description: Normal garden slugs, whose trail has the exact same chemical composition and taste as commercial-brand ranch dressing. They also appear to reproduce by binary fission every week.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery:████, ███████
Current Status: In animal containment. Excess entities incinerated.

Item Description: A small rock that emits a bright white light from an unknown source. Otherwise unremarkable.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████, ███████
Record of Destruction: Currently in the possession of Doctor Light.
Notes: No radiation, no life signs, nothing. If nothing else, it's a reminder of the inexplicable nature of the universe.

Item Description: A 1964 Smith & Wesson .41 Magnum Revolver. When any ammunition is fired from the third chamber, an unidentified male voice will shout "Nice shot!"
Date of Recovery: 09-03-████
Location of Recovery: Wichita, Kansas, USA
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Perfectly serviceable and well-maintained aside from the anomaly. Secured in Site 19's vintage weapons depository.
Note: Accuracy or even proficiency with the firearm is not required for the anomaly to function. Voice sounds whether or not the shot is, in fact, "nice".

Item Description: A wire clothes hanger. Only long-sleeve, blue, men's dress shirts with collar sizes between 15.5" and 16.5" can successfully be hung upon it. All other clothing articles simply drop off to the floor when hanger is employed.
Date of Recovery: 09-15-████
Location of Recovery: Halifax, Nova Scotia, CA
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A nuclear snowglobe. When shaken, instead of falling snow, it shows a miniature-scale nuclear explosion. It emits no radiation, sound, or force, and the explosion pattern changes every shake. Aftereffects such as radioactive snow and black rain have been observed. At random intervals, the snowglobe will contain a small shed, car, or truck, which reacts to the explosion.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Sokrovenno, Russia
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A squirrel which constantly moved much slower than normal, even when jumping or falling, similar to "slow-motion" video footage.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███████ Family Campgrounds, ███████
Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A cheap plastic ping-pong ball, that would change from red to green twice daily.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: ██████████, California, US
Current Status: Located under a locker in Storage Room 19-553B. Maintenance team required to extract object.

Item Description: A white cowboy hat. Any person wearing is compelled to whoop and box dance uncontrollably.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: ██ ██████, Texas
Current Status: Kept in a scantly used test chamber and brought out during staff birthday parties.

Item Description: Six-sided dice that can occasionally land on a seven.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██
Location of recovery: ████████ Gaming Society in ████████, Maryland
Current Status: Being used for research by Dr. McCallum.
Research my ass. He's just using the damned thing to cheat on his sneak attack damage. Dr. Morgan

Item Description: C███-C███ branded and stylized cola glass. Any liquid drunk from glass reported to taste like P████ brand cola
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Site-19
Current Status: Destroyed by canteen worker P. ███████, dropped after being washed.

Item Description: A .500 ███ ██████ sidearm that discharges all loaded cartridges as if they were blanks.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████████, ████
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: Glass paperweight which constantly floats exactly seven (7) centimeters above any given surface.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████ Funeral Home in █████████, ██
Current Status: Shattered in bizarre a capella accident. Dr. McCallum is currently being questioned.

Item Description: A drinking glass that visually appears to be able to hold a pint (568 ml) of fluid, but overflows when more than 35 ml is poured into it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1998
Location of Recovery: ████████, Illinois
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A series of pornographic VHS tapes that, when rewound, would continually change actors, sets, and methods of coitus. All appear to relate to actual filmed movies, though the quality is low.
Date of Recovery: █-██-1995
Location of Recovery: Hackensack, New Jersey
Current Status: Missing, presumed lost. Recently recovered from the possession of Dr. ██████. In storage.

Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown. In room where it was placed, a giggling sound would be noted whenever lights were turned off.
Date of Recovery: 5-16-200█
Location of Recovery: ██████, Germany
Current Status: Shot approximately 15 times with a 9mm sidearm by Agent ██████. Agent reprimanded. No anomalous properties recorded in the remains.

Item Description: An adult male capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris) several thousand miles away from the natural habitat for its species, with bright blue and green fur.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: ████████, Wisconsin
Current Status: Identified as lost exotic pet with ██████████-brand hair dye. Returned to owner; class-A amnestic administered; recovery agent reprimanded.

Item Description: An HB pencil which cannot be used to write, and only draws photorealistic images of Jimi Hendrix eating various foods.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1979
Location of Recovery: █████, Liechtenstein
Current Status: Accidentally snapped during testing (1993); portions of pencil did not retain anomalous properties, and were subsequently incinerated.

Item Description: A 24000-carat diamond, cut in the size and shape of a common construction brick.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-197█
Location of Recovery: ███████, South Africa
Current Status: In storage pending identification of source.

Item Description: A white cotton-and-polyester t-shirt bearing the words 'SCP: SECURE CONTAIN PROTECT" on the front, and a crude but recognizable cartoon of SCP-173 on the back, with the caption "SCP-173: DON'T BLINK". Aside from the security breach it represents, the item has no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: █████████ Thrift Store, New York City, New York
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A wedding invitation which, every six hours, becomes a different wedding invitation. Thus far, all invitations have been for weddings on dates between 5 and 15 years in the past, and have involved persons not found to exist.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: █████████████ Bookshop, ██████████████████, Wales
Current Status: In use as one-time pad generator.

Item Description: 16-month day planner (September 2009 to December 2010) manufactured by the ██████████ company which will duplicate anything written into it across all other units. This only works for date/time entries that have not yet come to pass.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2010
Location of Recovery: ██████ ███████ Office Supplies, ██████ ████, Florida
Current Status: 17 units in Foundation possession; unknown number remain in circulation (estimated at █). Research personnel are monitoring new entries in an effort to locate remaining copies.

Item Description: An Ikea-brand wall clock which seems to disappear and reappear once every second.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██
Location of Recovery: ███████, Scotland.
Current Status: Disappeared at 1124 hours GMT on ██/██/19██. Item never materialised, presumed irretrievable.

Item Description: A rubber-and-metal flyswatter which, when used to kill an invertebrate, causes the user to burst into tears.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██
Location of Recovery: ███████ Free Clinic, █████, Suriname
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A spear that, when thrown, pierces the heart of the nearest humanoid and extends several spikes from its blade afterward. Agents are to note that "the nearest humanoid" is typically the person who threw it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: █████, Ireland
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Risk set that has a variable number of pieces, appearing and disappearing as needed on the board. Sounds of battle are produced by the dice when rolled on hard surfaces rather than the expected clattering.
Date of Recovery: █-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, Oregon
Current Status: Available in Area 43 break room for recreation.

Item Description: A piece of vine charcoal that causes "Someone help me! I'm trapped in the charcoal!" to be written every several seconds whenever used for writing or drawing.
Date of Recovery: █-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████████, Scotland
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A bottle of bootleg █████ █████████ perfume, which attracts cats in a 1 km radius when used. Discovered after a gathering of over 4,000 cats caused a traffic jam in downtown ███ ███████.
Date of Recovery: █-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███ ███████, ██████████
Current Status: Stored in an airtight container, Low-Value Item Storage, Site-██.

Item Description: An upright piano. If a human touched any of the piano keys, the human became irresistibly compelled to play the piano and sing popular Broadway show tunes, for a period of three hours or until the player was incapacitated. It is to be noted that the item did not provide musical talent, knowledge of tunes, knowledge of lyrics, or the ability to sing on-key.
Date of Recovery: 4-28-200█
Location of Recovery: Recreation center at Foundation Site 33. Piano had been at that site for several years but its unusual properties did not manifest until Incident [DATA EXPUNGED].
Current Status: Disassembled by sledgehammer during containment breach; resulting detritus incinerated. Residual ashes evidenced no unusual properties.

Item Description: A #2 pencil that, when used, causes the writer to unknowingly make spelling errors. Spelling errors can be corrected using the pencil.
Date of Recovery: 6-██-20██
Location of Recovery: Site 19 supply cabinet
Current Status: Accidentally destroyed. Materials demonstrated no unusual properties
Note: Are you sure the person who reported this wasn't just really bad at spelling?

Item Description: A white plastic "halo", which will shine and float when above anybody who has not committed any of the 7 deadly sins. Will glow red when placed above anyone else.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███, ████
Current Status: Melted itself down after being placed above Dr ████ ██████s head.

Item Description: Dollar bills-ranging from $1 to $20-that scream loudly when placed next to foreign currency.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██
Location of Recovery: ██████ Bank, ██ ██████, ██
Current Status: shredded in paper shredder; strips showed no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A snow globe containing an 11-second time loop of a snowman murdering a bystander with an axe.
Date of Recovery: 12-25-20██
Location of Recovery: █████ Ski Resort, ██, USA
Current Status: On Research Assistant Goldsheiner's desk, for aesthetic purposes.

Item Description: A ██████-brand bobblehead that, when bobbled, causes the user's head to bobble with it. Can create neck injuries if bobbled too hard.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██
Location of recovery: Seattle, Washington
Current Status: On Dr. Roget's office desk In Dr. Roget's office safe.

Item Description: An early 19th century cannon of Russian manufacture. Cannon will prime, load and fire blanks (with no visible source of powder) if the finale of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture is played within audible range of the artillery piece. The timing of the shots is slightly off and inconsistent with the music.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Napoleonic Wars exhibit, ████████ Museum, ████████.
Current Status: Maintained as a lawn ornament in the staff garden at site 12. Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture added to Site "Blacklist" of restricted materials.

Item Description: A glass dinner plate, 11 inches across. When organic material is placed on the plate, it begins to secrete digestive enzymes (mainly proteases and cellulases) which produce foul-tasting waste products and an unpleasant appearance in food.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: Site 19 cafeteria, discovered by Junior Researcher ███████, who initially believed the kitchen staff were attempting to poison him.
Current Status: Currently under investigation by Dr. █████.

Item Description: A white coffee mug that, at 3:00 AM local time, will replace all fruit juices in its interior with grapefruit juice.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: ███████, Minnesota
Current Status: In the possession of Research Assistant Jacobs.
Note: Effect has consistently failed to manifest after RA Jacobs filled the item with grapefruit juice nineteen days after recovery. In storage.

Item Description: A pair of cordless headphones that constantly play songs by The Beatles despite the lack of a music or energy source.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████ concert, California, United States
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A ballpoint pen. Decimal points in numbers written with the pen will periodically move for the next 314 days.
Date of Recovery: 11-03-20██
Location of Recovery: Accounting department at Site-11.
Current Status: Stored in Low-Value Item Wing of Storage Site-23.

Item Description: A computer file with the name "~DFFF1C.tmp". The file has a negative filesize of -2 bytes; its presence on a storage medium increases the space available. Copies of the file retain this property, but editing the file changes its size to 0 bytes.
Date of Recovery: 05-21-20██
Location of Recovery: Dr. ████'s home computer
Current Status: Stored in Dr. ████'s computer, with several backups on portable media.

Item Description: A three-sided die: no matter how it is observed, subjects will report that it definitely has three sides, despite this being physically impossible.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: A tabletop gaming convention in [REDACTED].
Current Status: Sliced in half, yielded two one-sided dice.

Item Description: An adjustable-height stainless steel floor fan of unknown make and manufacture. The fan will only function when exposed to music written by an artist or artists that no persons within hearing range have knowledge of.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/1997
Location of Recovery: Jacksonville, Florida
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A pound cake that emits the sound of a young girl laughing when being cut.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2012
Location of Recovery: █████'s Bakery Shop in Wyoming
Current Status: Kept in cold storage at Site-17

Item Description: A slate sculpture of a human hand and a section of forearm, standing approximately 0.5m tall and weighing 50kg. The object's orientation cannot be changed and acts as a perfect compass - the thumb always points due magnetic north.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2012
Location of Recovery: Raid on a Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd. warehouse in London, UK.
Current Status: Staff gardens at Sector-25.
Note: Accompanying recovered documentation indicates that MC&D was having difficulty finding a buyer for the object.

Item Description: A 235-kg █████ █████-brand moped. When traveling at speeds in excess of 30 km/h, it displays inertial qualities consistent with an object of significantly higher mass, generally between 350 and 600 kg, depending on speed.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1999
Location of Recovery: ████████, Germany
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A large whiteboard. Should a subject write a problem on the white board, it will immediately begin to form a chart organizing the information pertinent to that problem. The object will then form connections between the information and attempt to come up with a solution. However, it will also write comments regarding the subject's intellect and physical appearance. These are almost always derogatory.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: █████████, Texas
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Nokia 1208 cell phone with exactly 2 bars of reception at all times, regardless of location, situation, or condition of the phone. Other functions do not differ from normal cell phones.
Date of Recovery: ██/█/████
Location of Recovery: ████████ village, Astrakhan district, found in possession of [DATA REDACTED]
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A purple stress ball that when squeezed causes the person to become contemplative about their recent successes and failures in life.
Date of Recovery: █/██/████
Location of Recovery: In the office drawer of a psychiatrist by the name of Dr. P████ Laymond.
Current Status: Torn to shreds by a loose pet corgi. Reconstruction is under consideration.
Notes: Is this thing even necessary? Why did we even take it in the first place? Why did Rachel dump me last night? WHY??? – Agent R████████

Item Description: A Basset Hound capable of limited human-like speech - only vocalization is the word "dude", in various accents and tones of voice.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: ████, California
Current Status: Held in Site 33 kennels.

Item Description: A skee-ball arcade game dating to the late 1930s. Whenever 850 or more points are scored in a single frame, the ticket dispenser releases that number of live cockroaches.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/1943
Location of Recovery: ████████ & Sons Games, Coney Island, New York
Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A key that can unlock the door to any empty, unmonitored room, but with the side effect of a skeleton of a random small mammal appearing inside the room and falling out the door as it is opened.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2006
Location of Recovery: ███████, London
Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A treadmill that will suddenly increase the speed to the maximum (15km/h) whenever stopped before the pre-programmed session is over. Unplugging the machine gave the same result.
Date of Recovery: ██/█/2012
Location of Recovery: ██████████████ Health Center, Seoul, Korea
Current Status: On ██/██/2012 object was found to be broken, and it was revealed that many agents used it for exercise since its containment. After the repair, object did not display anomalous properties any longer, and thus relocated to Foundation health center.

Item Description: A generic baseball cap that can only be worn 'properly'. Any attempts to wear it sideways or backwards cause it to forcibly remove itself from the wearer's head.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: ███ ████, New York
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A single copy of the book The Principles of Knitting. When the chapter detailing various problems encountered while knitting is read, the user experiences these problems the next time they attempt to knit. Problems extend to types of knitting not otherwise possible in three dimensions, leading to widespread tangling.
Date of Recovery: ██-█-2012
Location of Recovery: Baltimore, MD, USA
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A shipment of 350 prepackaged loaves of sliced potato bread consisting only of end slices. Viewing the bread causes disorientation and vestibular dysfunction.
Date of Recovery: ██-█-2010
Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Current Status: Shredded during containment breach. Shreds only caused slight ringing in ears in 11% of test subjects. Remains in storage.

Item Description: A VHS recording of the 1992 vice-presidential debates. Vice President Dan Quayle appears to have been replaced with a brown quail (Coturnix ypsilophora), which displays normal avian behavior on the recording. Behavior of the other subjects on the tape is unaltered. Forensic video analysis has not revealed any evidence of editing.
Date of Recovery: 11-17-2012
Location of Recovery: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Current Status: In Dr. Q█████'s office.

Item Description: A yellow "rubber ducky" bath toy. When a subject explains in detail a practical problem to the item as though it were a living anthropomorphic duck, they will feel that they have a better understanding of said problem, and are often immediately able to come up with a solution.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/199█
Location of Recovery: ███ ████, CA, USA.
Current Status: In display at Site-17's Office Block, for use by all personnel.

Item Description: A Swan Goose (Anser cygnoides) which extinguishes fires around it in a radius of 32.444 meters. Effect expands to 101 meters on the night of the first quarter moon.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: Altai, Mongolia
Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A hard cover book, that when read makes everything a person touches feel like a certain designated texture, depending on the page read.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: Cartersville, Georgia
Current Status: In the desk of Dr. Raye.
I like the fluffy kitten page. - Dr. Raye

Item Description: Ten (10) glass sculptures of Queen Angelfish (Holacanthus ciliaris) that animate when placed in water. Sculptures require all the needs of a regular fish, except oxygen.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: ██████, Ireland
Current Status: Kept in the aquarium in the 2nd floor break room at Site-17.

Item Description: A china statuette of British cartoon characters Wallace and Gromit that, upon observation, causes the observer to have a mild craving for cheese.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: Recovered with SCP-████ in a raid on a Marshall, Carter and Dark auction.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A set of chess pieces carved from white and pink marble. When used to play a game (rather than normal handling), the pieces transform into humanoid figures in the shapes of individuals important to the players. The king's knight is always in the shape of the player, regardless of gender.
Date of Recovery: 04/26/19██
Location of Recovery: Found abandoned on a public chessboard in Central Park, New York City, NY, USA.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: 32 printed copies of John Cage's 4'33''. When performed by any number of musicians, the sound of a euphonium practicing various atonal music pieces can be heard softly emanating from each copy.
Date of Recovery: █/██/20██
Location of Recovery: Band room of ████████ High School, located in Oahu, HI.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A replica of a human skull made out of gelatin. Item has not been shown to decay as per standard gelatin. Item plays music every October 31st. All music has been confirmed to be identical to that played by the band ███ ███████ ████ at their annual concert at the ████████ ████ Zoo.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/██11
Location of Recovery: ████████ ████ Zoo Amphitheater.
Current Status: On the desk of Doctor ███████.
Notes: I would feel a little bad about this, but the concert is free anyway. -Doctor ███████.

Aitem Deskripshun: A dikshunnarree that alturs ennee tekst deskraibing it to rezembul the langwej's fonetik form, tho nawt in ennee rekognaizd format.
Dayt uv Rekuvurree: ██/██/20██
Lokayshun uv Rekuvurree: Shikago, Illinoy, Yoo-Es-Ay
Kurrent Status: In a standurd kontaynment lokkur at Sait-59.

Item Description: A bronze statue of a mermaid. Causes kleptomaniacal compulsions in mammalian subjects continually exposed to it.
Date of Recovery: 6/30/1967
Location of Recovery: ████████, ██
Current Status: Replaced with a replica. Original in storage.

Item Description: The word [REDACTED], a 9-letter imaginary word which is defined as "the opposite of a sieve." The definition is known as soon as the word is read or heard. Only one written instance of the word exists at any given time; the previous instance is erased when the new instance is written, although the word transfers at roughly 1808km/s. The word reportedly feels natural and fluid to pronounce, and so may potentially be easy for unknown independent parties to create and write down. It is otherwise mundane.
Date of Recovery: ██/█/20██
Location of Recovery: Word Generation And Verification Subroutines, Site-18 Data Banks
Current Status: Written on a piece of paper stored at Site-19. In the event that an unknown independent party writes the word, one of several researchers will be on call to write the word down again.

Item Description: A tiara constructed from living specimens of mushroom and other noninvasive fungus. Placing the tiara on a human subject's head causes the subject to become gyroscopically stabilized from the waist up. No matter the effort, the subject will become unable to move their body from the waist up out of a perfectly vertical position.
Date of Recovery: ██/█/1919
Location of Recovery: Copenhagen, Denmark
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A traditional Brazilian berimbau of typical construction and materials. When held by a human subject, and the stick is raised to strike the string, the subject immediately displays an instinctive knowledge of how to play basic traditional rhythms. Further exposure does not seem to result in further knowledge gain, but the resultant basic knowledge remains with the subject after exposure.
Date of Recovery: ██/█/20██
Location of Recovery: Salto, Brazil
Current Status: In storage.
Note: Until it is determined conclusively that the item has no cognitohazardous capabilities, handling and testing is restricted to D-Class subjects.

Item Description: A 129-character string. Entering it on the password field of an online service will allow log-in no matter what the original password was; only known exception is the word "password".
Date of Recovery: ██/██/201█
Location of Recovery: Lagos, Nigeria
Current Status: Archived. Research on encryption and network structures resistant to effect underway.

Item Description: A blue stress ball. When squeezed, holder becomes infuriated, and when thrown, will bounce back and hit the thrower's head.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██
Location of Recovery: ████ Psychiatrics, ████
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard ███████ brand deck of cards that, when used to play any card game, appear 'backwards', showing all other players the card's face, while only showing the card's holder the back of said card.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: ███ █████, Nevada, United States.
Current Status: In storage at Site ██ Recreation Lounge.

Item Description: A credit card of an unknown black material. Purchases made with the card via magnetic stripe readers are retroactively debited from Banco de Mexico's account number ██████.██, in October of 1993.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: Secret chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza, Cairo, Egypt
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A red 1994 Toyota Camry whose radio could only play Men Without Hats' "Safety Dance" regardless of station, whether a cassette tape had been inserted, and even after the radio itself had been replaced 3 times.
Date of Recovery: ██/█/200█
Location of Recovery: Atlanta, Georgia
Current Status: Crushed and melted down during an unusual containment breach. Residual slag showed no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A high-tech typewriter that produces a cognitohazardous effect on every person trying to formulate a description for said object. Despite being a typewriter, it is always described as a typewriter, with various properties, containment places and such are replaced with analogous typewriter-related properties. The verb "to shoot" and its cognates are not affected, which is a property of the object as well. Attempts to photograph the object are hindered by mental influence, and any attempts to draw or paint the object result in a drawing of a typewriter.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: An abandoned printing device research base that belonged to a defunct group of interest called [REDACTED].
Current Status: In storage in Site ███ printing devices room. An effort to produce copies of the typewriter is underway.
Note: This typewriter is great! Easy to shoot, very accurate, good shooting distance, lightweight, supports different key sets and has a 60 cartridge tray. The typing mechanism is detachable, .45ACP and 5.56 versions are available. Most likely, the anomalous effect was developed in order to hinder intelligence efforts. - Agent Cora.

Item Description: A wooden toy rifle designed to shoot rubber bands using a gear. Rubber bands accelerate to 1/540 the speed of light upon leaving the barrel of the rifle.
Date of Recovery: 10/15/2010
Location of Recovery: Mount Vernon, Virginia
Current Status: In anomalous weapons containment.

Item Description: A computer that cannot connect to any network when networking is enabled, but can attain a connection to the internet of exactly 161.24 kbps anywhere, regardless of the speed of light and other physical limitations.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2011
Location of Recovery: ██████, Portugal
Current Status: Currently used to maintain communications with ████████.

Item Description: Glass fragments of a statue, originally composing a Non-Euclidian Structure.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2013
Location of Recovery: ████, ███████
Current Status: In storage
Note: It was broken when I found it. — Agent Green

Item Description: A drawing of a dog that, when viewed by an illiterate, teaches them how to read and write Latvian.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of recovery: ██████████, ██
Current Status: In Level 1 Document Storage at Site-██.

Item Description: A Christmas tree that is impossible to disassemble
Date of Recovery: 25/12/2013
Location of Recovery: Original location unknown, secondary location is near the entrance tunnel to Site-14.
Current Status: In Site-14 break room as a decoration for Christmas.

Item Description: One coaster. When placed on any horizontal surface, it leaves a circular water stain 6.3 cm in diameter. Stains left by this object have proven to be extremely difficult to remove.
Date of Recovery: 09/18/1995
Location of Recovery: ██████ ████████ Brewery, Gatlinburg, TN
Current Status: Accidentally destroyed under unknown circumstances.

Item Description: A Mark XIX (19) Israel Military Industries Desert Eagle on 50. Action Express with Picatinny rail. When held, it would display an ammo counter in the bottom right corner of the wielder's peripheral vision, and, when fired, would display a point value based on the target hit, in base 5 numeration.
Date of Recovery ██/██/██
Location of Recovery: ███████, Florida, U.S.A.
Current Status: Stored in Site-19 Low value storage unit.
Notes: It sounds cool, but the ammo counter is hard to focus on, which distracts you when you're trying to fire it, and it's nearly useless since you can barely make out the numbers. The scoring system has to be worked out on paper, and there's no easy way of recording the numbers when you have to decode your score every time you shoot. Keep this thing far away from the usable weapons. -Agent Harrelson

Item Description: A pack of ███████ brand chewing gum containing six (6) pieces of chewed gum. When chewed, they will revert to "unchewed" form. Re-chewed pieces do not possess this property.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of recovery: ████ ██████ , Canada
Current Status: In storage in Site-██.
How did we figure out it did that?- Dr. ██████

Item Description: A tambourine that, when shaken, produces the sounds of a guitar. Staff claim to greatly enjoy it.
Date of recovery: ██/█/████
Location of Recovery: ██████, England
Current Status: Held in the Site-19 break room.

Item Description: A pair of baby blue boxing gloves. If the boxing gloves are used to punch an infant in the jaw, the newborn will grow all of its adult teeth within the following 24 hours.
Date of Recovery: 08/10/20██
Location Recovery: Glasgow, Scotland
Current Status: Stored in containment locker in office of Dr. Bright.

Item Description: A Roman mosaic assembled in the 4th century CE depicting a creature resembling a Stegosaurus. Outside its anachronism, it is not otherwise anomalous.
Date of Recovery: ████/██/██
Location of Recovery: Villa Romana del Casale, Sicily, Italy.
Current Stats: In display at Site-77's Historical Anomalies Wing.

Item Description: A wooden Pan flute. When played, an unidentified male voice will tell music-related puns in the player's first language.
Date of Recovery: 1991/██/██
Location of Recovery: ████ Music Shop, Salonica, Greece.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A red ███████ brand automobile. The automobile was reported to leave a trail of flames in areas it passed. It is also able to speed up to ████ kilometers per hour.
Date of Recovery: █/█/████
Location of Recovery: █████ family's garage
Current Status: Unknown. Last seen driven by Dr. Gerald.

Item Description: A black top hat. When worn, any sounds made by the person wearing it is replaced by an unidentified male voice saying an onomatopoeic word based on the sound (for instance, the sound of sneezing will be replaced by the word "sneeze").
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: ███████, ███████
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A tin can labeled "WORMS" in white paint. Opening the lid reveals another lid directly underneath. Analysis has resulted in the conclusion that there may be a theoretically infinite sequence of lids.
Date of Recovery: ████-██-██
Location of Recovery: ███████, West Virginia
Current Status: In anomalous item containment locker.

Item Description: A carton of ████████-brand cigarettes. Upon smoking, subjects can only communicate through operatic vocals, with an effect lasting from 8 to 15 minutes.
Date of Recovery: ██-█-2004
Location of Recovery: Phoenix, Arizona
Current Status: A number were consumed a month after recovery by the Site-22 staff. Remainder in storage.
Note: These were a lot of fun. Someone should put them in the break room vending machines if the Foundation comes across a reliable resource.
-Agent ██████

Item Description: A red 2011 Alfa Romeo 159. Upon sitting in the driver's seat, the driver spontaneously forgets how to use a stick-shift transmission. They regain this knowledge upon stepping out of the car. (It should also be noted that this car has a stick-shift transmission.)
Date of Recovery: █-██-20██
Location of Recovery: █████████, Poland
Current Status: In storage, awaiting repairs due to a burnt-out clutch.

Item Description: A black-and-white picture of a flock of sheep that causes any human within a five (5)-meter radius to feel as if they are being watched.
Date of Recovery: █-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███ ██████
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Triumph Adler TA-1600 brand computer. When activated all peripherals are turned into aged Abbaye de Belloc cheese
Date of Recovery: 11-██-2012
Location of Recovery: Algonquin College Canada
Current Status: Stored in Site-██ break room

Item Description: A finger painting of a 7 centimeter square inside of a 3 centimeter circle.
Date of Recovery: 12-2-20██
Location of Recovery: Christian Addler Elementary School
Current Status: Undergoing testing
Note: I know the ruler doesn't lie, but my brain just doesn't want to believe it. Guess we're doing something right. -Agent Morris

Item Description: A white mask, made of stone. The appearance of the mask is dependent on the observer: Most common perceptions are: a circa-80s hockey mask, a skull mask, a demonic face, or an Aztec priest mask.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████, ███████
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A severed Crocodylus porosus (saltwater crocodile) head, which doesn't experience decomposition or corrosion. When touched or handled physically, the head gains life signs and bites its handler, then going back into its inactive state. Object also regenerates almost instantaneously when damaged.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2014
Location of Recovery: Las Vegas, Nevada
Current Status: Frozen.

Item Description: A blue M&M's candy, which, when set on a flat surface, begins to spin, accelerating in speed until it reaches a rate of approximately 65 rev/s, at which point it instantly freezes in place, until being picked up and set back down.
Date of Recovery: 2-24-2014
Location of Recovery: Boulder, Colorado
Current Status: Missing.

Item Description: A newly opened, 14-ounce glass bottle of ███████ brand ketchup. Contents of bottle deemed impossible to extract, despite vigorous smacking and shaking.
Date of Recovery: 04-15-20██
Location of Recovery: San Juan, Mexico
Current Status: Shattered during an unauthorized extraction attempt in Site-22 cafeteria. Despite severe fragmentation, contents remained irretrievable from bottle. Broken shards and remains moved to standard storage locker at Site-59.

Item Description: A glass mirror that reflects images across its surface approximately 3.86 seconds more slowly than conventional mirrors, resulting in a significant 'lag' in the observed reflection.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████████, Ukraine
Current Status: Undergoing testing at Site-73. Studies indicate that there is no observable change in the rate at which photons are reflected by the mirror.

Item Description: A toy rocket made out of an unknown polymer which can exceed speeds needed to escape the earth's gravity. It caught the interest of the Foundation and was tested.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of recovery: ████/█████ Border
Current Status: Currently located in the thermosphere in Earth's Orbit.

Item Description: Bootleg VHS copy of Swedish movie "████ ██████ of █████████" (19██). All characters change gender and ethnicity randomly on each viewing.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, Guam
Current Status: Site-19 break room. "Bad acting, boring plot." Currently in storage.

Item Description: A small █████ brand FM radio, estimated to be ██ years old. When powered and set to any frequency, the radio will play a random song popular among teenagers during the activator's pubescent years. This song will always involve romantic relations and is described as remarkably apposite to the activator's current relationship status in 95% of cases. When activated by somebody not in a romantic relationship, the radio will play an inexpertly recorded cover of Harry Nilsson single "One," sung dramatically off-key by an unidentified pubescent male accompanied by a series of atonal electric piano notes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1986
Location of Recovery: ███ ██ High School, ███████, Illinois
Current Status: Lost following testing by Researcher ████

Item Description: A ████ brand SD card, which, when placed in a any computer, will heat the internal hard drive to the point of destruction.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery:███████,███████,Canada
Current Status: Agent ███████ snapped it after it broke the internal hard drive of his computer.
Note: Seriously? What if it was just made wrong? Why is this listed as a anomalous item?

Item Description: A bag of ███-████ brand marshmallows. When a marshmallow is consumed by an individual, their head becomes engulfed in blue flames. Subjects always report a lack of noticeable change in spite of heat readings exceeding 100°C.
Date of Recovery: █/█/2014
Location of Recovery: ███████, Scotland
Current Status: Remaining samples were placed in storage.

Item Description: A pair of ravens (Corvus Corax) who will sing the folk song known as twa corbies on some but not all occasions when someone dies within an approximately one kilometre radius.
Date of Recovery: 6/27/1989
Location of Recovery: ████████, British Isles
Current Status: Held in a standard aviary.

Item Description: Two hundred twenty-five (225) navel oranges. Although the outside of the orange is ordinary, when peeled, the flesh is of a different edible fruit, such as pomegranate, apple, durian, or dragon fruit. No two oranges have contained the flesh of the same fruit.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, Brazil
Current Status: One hundred forty-six (146) oranges currently remain in the storage fridges in the Site-73 cafeteria.

Item Description: One pair of ███ brand headphones that can only be described as the opposite of what they are.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location of Recovery: █████, Canada
Current Status: In storage at Site-██.
Note: Don't think into it too much. -Dr. ███████

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