Log of Anomalous Items, Vol II
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Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future.
– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██

This is the second volume of the log. Access to the first volume of the log can be found here.

Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.

Item Description: A long-egg reversal machine, resembling a table-top sausage grinder. When a long egg is introduced in the hopper at the top of the device and the crank is turned, the long egg is consumed and a series of normal raw chicken eggs, complete with shell, emerge from the lower chute.
Date of Recovery: 10-9-2017
Location of Recovery: Royal Wootton Bassett, Wiltshire, England
Current Status: In the Site-17 culinary experimentation kitchens.

Item Description: A statue of a mouse that when unobserved will generate scratching sounds similar to an actual mouse scratching against something. N/A
Date of Recovery: 12-04-1987
Location of Recovery: █████, Uganda.
Current Status: Moved to low-security non-anomalous storage. The agent that recovered it was confirmed to be hallucinating its effects from exposure to SCP-████. SCP-████'s containment procedures have been updated to prevent similar incidents in the future.

Item Description: A 0.152 meter marble statue depicting a human male spanking a common chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes). When directly viewed, subjects develop an unusually high sense of disgust towards it. Prolonged exposure to the item leads to a minor increase in hormone production which briefly stimulates a subject's libido for approximately 20 seconds.
Date of Recovery: 09-12-██
Location of Recovery: New York City, Manhattan at an underground anart exhibit.
Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A red composition notebook that is filled out with notes on a variety of mathematical concepts. Directly viewing the contents of the notebook causes the viewer to experience a headache and hear a voice that is requesting help.
Date of Recovery: 03-13-1976
Location of Recovery: ███████ High School, █████
Current Status: In storage at Site-13.

Item Description: A cup of hot chocolate which, while the holder is watching a copy of The Polar Express (2004), does not decrease in temperature and will automatically refill. The cup has no anomalous properties if the holder is not watching a copy of The Polar Express.
Date of Recovery: 10-30-2004
Location of Recovery: Warner Bros. headquarters.
Current Status: In Researcher Snippet's laboratory.

Item Description: A 1.016m*1.778m (40in*70in) plaque reading "Department of Abnormalities" in English. Unknown composition, visually similar to polished granite.
Date of Recovery: N/A, discovered 1-21-19██
Location of Recovery: Photosphere of the Sun.
Current Status: In original location.

Item Description: A pair of ███ █████ brand drumsticks, made of hickory and approximately 0.5 meters in length. When the electronic rock song “Radioactive” is played within a twenty (20) meter radius, the drumsticks become highly radioactive.
Date of Recovery: 06-29-2018
Location of Recovery: Saratoga Springs, New York, at an Imagine Dragons concert.
Current Status: In hazardous material storage.

Item Description: A common raven (Corvus corax) when viewed for prolonged periods cause subjects to temporarily perceive text as passages from the poem "The Raven" by American writer Edgar Allan Poe. The effect roughly lasts between 15 minutes to 1 hour.
Date of Recovery: 05-23-2016
Location of Recovery: Boston, Massachusetts
Current Status: In Site-66's aviary.

Item Description: A VHS tape with an adhesive sticker that reads "OH FIVE FOOLS" written in black marker containing an hour and twenty minutes of footage. The contents of the tape depicts former and current members of the O5 Council tied, and being tortured by robed figures wearing masks demanding to know "Where is our god?" before fading into static. The tape ends with a final still of the disemboweled corpses of the Council members and the message "Soon." Members of the Council report no unusual activity.
Date of Recovery: 12-7-1981
Location of Recovery: At Site-01
Current Status: In the possession of Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 ("Red Right Hand") to aid in an investigation ordered by the O5 Council.

Item Description: A 152mm Soviet howitzer round in mint condition. Round fires normally, however when ejected and left to itself after five minutes appears to be brand new with a new projectile and powder. Currently has the affects of a normal 152mm round when making contact after being fired.
Date of Recovery: 4-16-2004
Location of Recovery: Illuka, Estonia
Current Status: Awaiting approval by O5-█ for use in battery training for security teams at Site-██. In low-containment storage at Site-██.

Item Description: The corpse of a 57 year old man named Pedro █████. Subject spontaneously grew large amounts of teeth within the frontal lobe of their brain with some protruding from their head. The teeth resembled that of a shark (Selachi). The cause is unknown and the incident was caught on CCTV footage inside a gas station.
Date of Recovery: 4-18-2007
Location of Recovery: █████, Puerto Rico
Current Status: In cryogenic storage.

Item Description: A number of regulation basketballs, the interiors of which contain a compressed network of nervous tissue and undifferentiated stem cells. DNA analysis reveals the tissue in each ball is genetically identical to a current member of the Harlem Globetrotters. Items are otherwise non-anomalous, save for a lack of expected decay of biological material.
Date of Recovery: 12-06-1964
Location of Recovery: A disused warehouse in Atlanta, Georgia
Current Status: In Site-54's non-anomalous item storage.

Item Description: Simple quill pen that renders its owner invulnerable to any sort of cutting, piercing, slicing, stabbing, chopping, slitting, incision or any other form of sharp force damage. Owner is regularly affected by blunt force damage.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, Avon, England
Current Status: Contained in standard storage locker
Notes: Object was found on the body of ███████ ███████████, who was bludgeoned to death. A note reading "not so mightier now, eh?" was found at the scene

Item Description: A 12 cm teddy bear that when in the presence of music and at parties will start to animate. It will dance continuously until the music ceases.
Date of Recovery: 08-16-2015
Location of Recovery: At a rave in the country side of Rhode Island dancing on the stage with the DJ.
Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A .5M by 2M mirror collection of mirror fragments of random shape that will inflict harm done to itself onto the individual who has tried to inflict the damage in the corresponding area. This effect only manifests when the person is in direct contact with the object used to harm it.
Date of Recovery: 1-7-2014
Location of discovery: Site-19 North Wing sublevel 1 Male restroom
Current Status: Destroyed during testing with firearms on █/█/██. Testing with fragments shows the same properties.
Note: Subject AI-12██ did not expire despite shooting his reflection in the forehead. Changes in knowledge have been added to the item's file.

Item Description: A Logitech brand computer mouse that has the anomalous property of turning itself off at the most inconvenient fucking times.
Date of Recovery: 7-7-2018
Location of discovery: Dr. ████'s desk.
Current Status: Stored in Dr. ████'s trashcan.
Note: ████, if you need a new mouse, tell somebody. Writing stupid entries on the LOAI doesn't get you anywhere. - Researcher █████

Item Description: A set of 12 cm wide pink earmuffs. When worn by any member of the Oryctolagus cuniculus (domestic rabbit) species, said rabbit will collapse into an infinitely small point and dissipate.
Date of Recovery: 2-14-2016
Location of Recovery: Junior Researcher █████'s apartment in Inglewood, CA
Current Status: Stored at Site-██
Note: Someone's gotta discover these things I guess… - Junior Researcher █████

Item Description: A popsicle, orange in coloration. The item has been cited to taste like a non-descript citrus fruit. When the item in question is exposed to heat past its melting point, the popsicle's surroundings will begin to liquify regardless of composition. The radius of which objects are melted around the popsicle increases over time, and the speed of which this occurs depends on the intensity of the heat. Item is not melted by heat, regardless of intensity.
Date of Recovery: 9-20-2018
Location of Recovery: A small house in █████, Florida, USA.
Current Status: Stored at Site-485 within a cryogenic freezer.

Item Description: A piece of paper. When written, every alphabet turns like rot13.
Date of Recovery: █-█-20██
Location of Recovery: A cafe in Kichijoji that seemed to collaborate with "end of century comic"
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: Except this. "I would like to fish the foundation with this paper … Is it okay? - Rot" - Ace

Item Description: Taxidermy crow on a wooden pedestal. Item gives people an urge to collect avian themed objects.
Date Of Recovery: 02-1-12
Location Of Recovery: █████████████████
Current Status: Put inside storage locker ███████
Notes: Ok, I think we just found another anomalous property of this strange item. It seems that if you write about it, it links you to many avian anomalies we have in our database. I have no clue why, we will be doing more testing on this soon. - Dr. ithurtsineedrelease

Item Description: A police-issued riot shield that screams loudly when hit, struck, or otherwise damaged.
Date of Recovery: 12-6-2008
Location of discovery: Street corner in central Athens, Greece. Object was found abandoned by police after brief contact with rioters.
Current Status: Stored in a sound-proofed containment locker at Site ██.
Note: I'm blaming researcher Heather ████ for putting a hole in it during testing. Now the damn thing just won't shut up.

Item Description: A 30 cm long, 15 cm wide, leather-bound book that has "lexicon" written on the cover in the language the subject holding it desires to learn the most. Once a subject reads the entire book they will become completely fluent in the language they desired to learn.
Date of Recovery: 19-12-2004
Location of Discovery: In a Serpent's Hand library located in Greece.
Current Status: In Site-907s ALL (Anomalous Literature Library) block. It is readily available to any personnel requesting research of sentient SCP objects speaking a language unfamiliar to them.

Item Description: A collection of 216 fountain pens. Each pen, when used to write, will deploy the user's blood in the place of ink.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Grave, The Netherlands
Current Status: Each pen has been clearly labelled, and is currently in use by the Foundation's Demonology Division.

Item Description: A folded love letter addressed to a unknown female name S█████. The top of the letter has a drawing of a depressed cartoon character greeting and it is stained with tears. Making contact with it causes a subject to begin shedding a tear. Subjects then describe a deep feeling of regret or a feeling of pity for the writer of the letter.
Date of Recovery: 8-11-2015
Location of Recovery: Los Angeles, California
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A 5kg plastic tub of ice cream labeled "Rocky Road". Bag maintains a constant internal temperature of 97 degrees Celsius, maintaining this in environments of any temperature. Ice cream removed from the bag does not show any anomalous qualities, and will quickly melt.
Date of Recovery: 4-7-1986
Location of Recovery: Pocatello, Idaho
Current Status: In storage, with caution label warning of high temperature.

Item Description: A golden German Cross, a military decoration from Nazi Germany, that will occasionally teleport itself onto any nearby individual. It will then alter their clothing to Nazi attire until removed. On every 20th of April, individuals will have a hair style and mustache resembling Adolf Hitler when it spawns.
Date of Recovery: 5-20-1999
Location of Recovery: ██████, Argentina among a cache of Nazi memorabilia.
Current Status: In containment.
Note: Can we just get rid of this thing? This is the third time it changed my clothing without me noticing and I was going to a meeting. I want to avoid a misunderstanding around here and others can agree with me. - Dr. Hadian

Item Description: A generic cafeteria mug. Whenever anyone attempts to drink from or to damage it the item teleports away to a secure location, leaving behind whatever it was filled with. The secondary property of the item makes it uncontainable, as it places itself in insuspicious locations, such as the cafeteria's cupboard, when left untouched for a prolonged period of time.
Date of Recovery: 10-15-2017
Location of Recovery: Staff break room of Site-54. Anomalous properties became appearent when its finder, Junior Researcher Summers, tried to drink coffee out of it.
Current Status: Uncontained, seemingly bound to Site-54.
Note: Just because there's the tiny chance of ending up using this darn thing, it doesn't mean that you should test the durability of every single damn mug you come across! - Frank Gardner, Resource Management

Item Description: A 50 centimeter empty space that is capable of being manipulated. Conceptually, anything within the space is considered within the borders of a non-existent country called "The Republic of Theoi Trary." Currently, Theoi Trary has one citizen, and it is a 3 month old baby named █████████ ████████████ of Pakistani descent.
Date of Recovery: 7-9-2014
Location of Recovery: Médecins Sans Frontières Medical Center, Pakistan.
Current Status: Within a low-security containment chamber in Site-551.

Item Description: A toilet with cognitohazardous properties. Individuals will uniformly be reluctant to flush the toilet, as exposed individuals have a significant suspicion that a malevolent entity of some kind might use the sound of the flush to conceal the sound of its own approach before attacking. This effect is weak enough that most individuals will dismiss it as irrational and flush the toilet. No evidence supporting the existence of any malevolent entities connected to the toilet has been found. In light of a recent experiment, the Foundation's understanding of this object is being re-evaluated.
Date of Recovery: 04-11-2017
Location of Recovery: Greenbelt, Maryland, United States.
Current Status: In storage at Anomalous Item Repository 3.

Item Description: A Renault FT light tank that when driven would automatically aim for targets and fire an infinite number of large paintballs.
Date of Recovery: 9-11-2008
Location of Recovery: ██████ Paintball and Airsoft Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Current Status: Within the Anomalous Vehicle Hangar of Area-78.
Note: The item was found with the following message which was written on a Post-it note in red pen. -Dr. Hadian

Damn cheating, Daniel.

Item Description: 37 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios that when poured into milk turns into live honey bees (Apis).
Date of Recovery: 10-15-2008
Location of Recovery: Fresno, California
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A Sony-brand CFD-S70 Boombox with a CD copy of "Like a G6" by the group Far East Movement anonymously stuck within its compartment. When the CD is played, gravity within ten meters of the radio instantaneously increases by six magnitudes until the song concludes. The boombox remains unaffected during this occurrence.
Date of Recovery: 6-8-2011
Location of Recovery: A demolished radio equipment store located in Los Angeles, California.
Current Status: Contained in Site-18's Low-Threat Anomalous Item Storage Vault.

Item Description: A standard Spalding-brand basketball. Any human in contact with the object is capable of consistently "dunking" it into basketball hoops up to 3.05 meters off the ground, regardless of overall physical capability.
Date of Recovery: 12-21-2012
Location of Recovery: Nursing home in Dubuque, Iowa.
Current Status: Site-21 recreation area.

Item Description: A small ornament box containing aluminum figurines depicting several animals including a Chicken, Cow, and Pig. At random intervals, the animal figurines will emanate a sound corresponding to its species. The source of the sound is unknown.
Date of Recovery: 5-17-2010
Location of Recovery: Antiques shop in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Current Status: Stored within Site-64's C Wing.

Item Description: A plastic ruler appearing 18 inches long. When used to measure any object, the user will immediately believe that they know the exact length of the object, down to the micron level. Testing has shown the object's effects to manifest even when used by the blind. Subsequent measurement of objects measured shows no correlation between the actual length of the object and the length claimed by the user.
Date of Recovery: 8-29-2014
Location of Recovery: ████ ███████ State University
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: An apple tree that experiences the four seasons in reverse. The leaves are all green and the fruit is ripe in the winter, the leaves and fruit shrink and disappear in the spring, the tree is bare in the summer, and leaves rise up from the ground and turn green in the fall. Apples also rise up in the fall and become ripe, and they become non-ripe in the spring.
Date of Recovery: 2/1/2018.
Location of Recovery: █████ ███████ █████, an orchard in ████████, ██.
Current Status: Remains in ████████, ██. Seeds have been extracted and are currently growing at Site-19. Anomaly covered up as something done by the employees at █████ ███████ █████.

Item Description: A heavily burned corpse of a nearly hairless primate with a highly developed brain and nervous system. No RHIt marker of any encryption or RAND-tech label was found within the creature's DNA suggesting that it was either owned by and if sapient living as a Sticker Man and/or a pilot. The skull is fractures in a way not consistent with energy or siphon weaponry and thus any further research was halted.
Date of Recovery: 33 by 17 A/H (null cycle)
Location of Recovery: An above-ground heated mineral disposal device in sector-████/██ of New India.
Current Status: Determined to contain illegal implications and thud was transported to the ███████'s on-site incinerator. All in-depth and detailed records were secured in L-KON-4 level harmful media storage.

Item Description: A printed copy of SCP-682's containment procedures that when picked up produces a loud roar.
Date of Recovery: 6/17/2012
Location of Recovery: At Site-19.
Current Status: The item had been torn in half by Researcher Thompson by accident. No further anomalous activity has been produced and has been disposed of.

Item description: A standard rectangular library card, 5CM in length and 2CM in height. Its anomalous properties manifest when the card is out of date and someone tries to check a book out after its expiration date, in which it will automatically renew.
Date of recovery: 3/4/2020
Location of recovery: ████████ county public library
Current status: In low value containment locker at Site-██

Item Description: An external hard drive that, when plugged into any computer other than an IBM ThinkPad, contains only a collection of random photos of cats, and it is impossible to add files to the drive, or move, rename, copy, edit, or delete the photos. The pictures are different every time the hard drive is unplugged and plugged back in. When used with a ThinkPad, it works like a normal external hard drive and shows no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 02/06/2005.
Location of Recovery: A house in San Diego, California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A preserved rat carcass (Rattus norvegicus), wrapped in black adhesive tape and pierced by what appear to be several dozen cocktail sticks. When held, grants the holder complete and perfect knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the recent death of one Arthur Long.
Date of Recovery: 13/04/1956.
Location of Recovery: The residence of Maria Carney, fiancee of Mr. Long, also recently deceased.
Current Status: Missing.

Item Description: A wooden barrel that, when opened, manifests a capuchin monkey (Cebinae) in a clown outfit.
Date of Recovery: 09/12/2006
Location of Recovery: ██████, Missouri
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A large NASA t-shirt. The stars depicted on the shirt emit very small amounts of solar radiation and light via an anomalous manner.
Date of Recovery: 14/2/2012.
Location of Recovery: ████████, Virginia
Current Status: Researcher Caroll's office.

Item Description: A hand grenade suspended in temporal stasis, in the process of exploding at a rate of approximately .005km/year. Anomaly is movable through manipulation of the shrapnel; manipulating one piece causes the entire item to move.
Date of Recovery: 26/3/1945
Location of Recovery: Japan
Current Status: In a containment room for ballistic anomalies.
Notes: Anomaly is expected to finish exploding some time in the early 2200s.

Item Description: The word "██████", a verb which has resisted all attempts at being conjugated or otherwise modified.
Date of Recovery: 3/9/2018
Location of Recovery: A thesis paper written by a student attending ████ State University, arguing the existence of a verb in the English language that is incapable of being modified.
Current Status: As the word is constructed, knowledge of it is minimal. The original paper is in storage.

Item Description: a blue ballpoint pen, when dropped from 0.5m or above will teleport to a random area within 50m of its original placement.
Date of Recovery: 11/07/2011
Location of Recovery: ███████████ Perth WA
Current Status: Missing. Last seen on Researcher Stroud's desk.

Item Description: A block of very mature cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese with a circumference of 188.5 cm. When referred to in person, the speaker will not be able to stop saying the middle syllable of "cheese" and will say "cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…" for an infinite amount of time until hit with some form of head trauma. The anomaly will also affect text documents, where referring to the anomalous cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese causes the middle syllable to repeat for a random amount of times.
Date of Recovery: 16/07/2018
Location Of Recovery: Cheddar Gorge Caves, England
Current Status: In storage at Site-111.
Note: A hammer is available near the container of the anomaly if you accidentally say that it is an anomalous cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese. -Junior Researcher Daniel

Item Description: A drinking glass that, when held, will have any fluid within it to be transmuted into urine. A urinalysis test of the urine collected from the glass revealed that the urine within will always match that of the current wielder of the anomaly.
Date of Recovery: 23/12/2018
Location Of Recovery: Site-04's cafeteria.
Current Status: Destroyed by Agent Lang after mistaking the liquid within for lemonade
Note: Fucking disgusting. - Vanessa Lang, Senior Field Agent

Item Description: A round brilliant cut gem 3 millimeter thick and 5 millimeter in diameter. Composed of perfectly transparent material with no spectral absorption lines. Hardness and strength identical to normal borosilicate glass.
Date of Recovery: 10/10/2008
Location Of Recovery: Attached to Site-45 Director's marriage ring. The ring itself, as well as its pair, has been determined to be completely non-anomalous.
Current Status: In Site-45 low-value storage locker. Replacement glass gem has been attached to the ring.

Item Description: A 39.37in x  39.37in x 11.81in box that can only be measured with Imperial units.
Date of Recovery: 1/30/2018
Location Of Recovery: An elementary school in Boulder, Colorado, USA.
Current Status: Stored at Site-19, any further measurements are to be carried out by persons without a scientific background.

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