Log Of Anomalous Items, Vol II
rating: +197+x

Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future. – Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site-██

This is the second volume of the log. Access to the first volume of the log can be found here.

Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.

Item Description: A long-egg reversal machine, resembling a table-top sausage grinder. When a long egg is introduced in the hopper at the top of the device and the crank is turned, the long egg is consumed and a series of normal raw chicken eggs, complete with shell, emerge from the lower chute.
Date of Recovery: 10-9-2017
Location of Recovery: Royal Wootton Bassett, Wiltshire, England
Current Status: In the Site-17 culinary experimentation kitchens.

Item Description: A common raven (Corvus corax) when viewed for prolonged periods causes subjects to temporarily perceive text as passages from the poem "The Raven" by American writer Edgar Allan Poe. The effect roughly lasts between 15 minutes to 1 hour. Several researchers have reported hearing the raven call them "Edgar", though none have the name Edgar.
Date of Recovery: 05-23-2016
Location of Recovery: Boston, Massachusetts
Current Status: In Site-66's aviary.

Item Description: A VHS tape with an adhesive sticker that reads "OH FIVE FOOLS" written in black marker containing an hour and twenty minutes of footage. The contents of the tape depict former and current members of the O5 Council tied, and being tortured by robed figures wearing masks demanding to know "Where is our god?" before fading into static. The tape ends with a final still of the disemboweled corpses of the Council members and the message "Soon." Members of the Council report no unusual activity.
Date of Recovery: 12-7-1981
Location of Recovery: At Site-01
Current Status: In the possession of Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 ("Red Right Hand") to aid in an investigation ordered by the O5 Council.

Item Description: A 152mm Soviet howitzer round in mint condition. Round fires normally, however when ejected and left to itself after five minutes appears to be brand new with a new projectile and powder. Currently has the affects of a normal 152mm round when making contact after being fired.
Date of Recovery: 4-16-2004
Location of Recovery: Illuka, Estonia
Current Status: Awaiting approval by O5-█ for use in battery training for security teams at Site-██. In low-containment storage at Site-██.

Item Description: The corpse of a 57 year old man named Pedro █████. Subject spontaneously grew large amounts of teeth within the frontal lobe of their brain with some protruding from their head. The teeth resembled that of a shark (Selachi). The cause is unknown and the incident was caught on CCTV footage inside a gas station.
Date of Recovery: 4-18-2007
Location of Recovery: █████, Puerto Rico
Current Status: In cryogenic storage.

Item Description: A collection of 216 fountain pens. Each pen, when used to write, will deploy the user's blood in the place of ink.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Grave, The Netherlands
Current Status: Each pen has been clearly labelled, and is pending approval for use by the Foundation's Demonology Division.

Item Description: A folded love letter addressed to a unknown female name S█████. The top of the letter has a drawing of a depressed cartoon character greeting and it is stained with tears. Making contact with it causes a subject to begin shedding a tear. Subjects then describe a deep feeling of regret or a feeling of pity for the writer of the letter.
Date of Recovery: 8-11-2015
Location of Recovery: Los Angeles, California
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A heavily burned corpse of a nearly hairless primate with a highly developed brain and nervous system. No RHIt marker of any encryption or RAND-tech label was found within the creature's DNA suggesting that it was either owned by and if sapient living as a Sticker Man and/or a pilot. The skull is fractures in a way not consistent with energy or siphon weaponry and thus any further research was halted.
Date of Recovery: 33 by 17 A/H (null cycle)
Location of Recovery: An above-ground heated mineral disposal device in sector-████/██ of New India.
Current Status: Determined to contain illegal implications and thud was transported to the ███████'s on-site incinerator. All in-depth and detailed records were secured in L-KON-4 level harmful media storage.

Item Description: An external hard drive that, when plugged into any computer not housed within a Lenovo brand shell, contains only a collection of random photos of cats, and it is impossible to add files to the drive, or move, rename, copy, edit, or delete the photos. The pictures are different every time the hard drive is unplugged and plugged back in. When used with a computer housed within a Lenovo brand shell, it works like a normal external hard drive and shows no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: 02/06/2005.
Location of Recovery: A house in San Diego, California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A preserved rat carcass (Rattus norvegicus), wrapped in black adhesive tape and pierced by several dozen cocktail sticks. When held, grants the holder complete and perfect knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the recent death of one Arthur Long.
Date of Recovery: 13/04/1956.
Location of Recovery: The residence of Maria Carney, fiancee of Mr. Long, also recently deceased.
Current Status: In storage at Dr Torrs office.

Item Description: A wooden barrel that, when opened, manifests a mummified capuchin monkey (Cebinae) in a clown outfit. The cadaver rapidly decomposes into dust and ash when the barrel is closed.
Date of Recovery: 09/12/2006
Location of Recovery: ██████, Missouri
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A large NASA t-shirt. The stars depicted on the shirt emit very small amounts of solar radiation and light via an anomalous manner.
Date of Recovery: 14/2/2012.
Location of Recovery: ████████, Virginia
Current Status: Framed in Researcher Caroll's office.

Item Description: The word "██████", a verb which has resisted all attempts at being conjugated or otherwise modified.
Date of Recovery: 3/9/2018
Location of Recovery: A thesis paper written by a student attending ████ State University, arguing the existence of a verb in the English language that is incapable of being modified.
Current Status: As the word is constructed, knowledge of it is minimal. The original paper is in storage.

Item Description: A document describing "spontaneous pattern annihilation," a phenomenon that has not been observed in reality.
Date of Recovery: 2018-06-01
Location of Recovery: Site-02 ████████████ Department.
Current Status: Storage.

Item Description: A worn dish-cloth with an effective mass of 0 grams, which is un-effected by gravitation. The composition of the cloth has been analyzed, and found to be non-anomalous fabric. The cloth can otherwise be manipulated as typical, despite acting as if it were in a microgravity environment.
Date of Recovery: 3/08/2018
Location of Recovery: SpaceX Falcon 9 Booster, post-landing. No such object was included in the flight's manifest.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A severed mummified human foot that causes visual hallucinations at random times when observing it. Individuals will see an emaciated humanoid entity that has a large mouth for a face with multiple tongues licking the foot. Affected subjects report feeling uncomfortable or unease, and that the entity is staring at them despite it reportedly lacking eyes. The effect lasts until the subject turns away or after roughly a minute when observing it.
Date of Recovery: 5/12/1998
Location of Recovery: ██████, Peru
Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A nail used in the left hand of Researcher Yeshua during execution by █████ alliance against the ██████ for ███████ ████ ██ ████ that when used to puncture a human hand will cause no bleeding. The wound retains all other negative health effects.
Date of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Location of Recovery: ██████ mid-transport to ████████████ tomb.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A copy of the book █ ███████ ██ ████ that doesn’t appear on any reflective surface. If a page of this book is taken out, it does not obtain this anomalous behavior.
Date of Recovery: █/██/2015
Location of Recovery: █████, Pennsylvania.
Current Status: Storage.

Item Description: An orange, ███████-brand Phillips-head screwdriver that, when inserted into a screw, will always screw it outwards, regardless of the direction of twisting.
Date of Recovery: 8/6/2016
Location of Recovery: ███████, New Jersey
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A black Sharpie pen that, when used to write, instead hovers toward the nearest wall and draws upon it horizontal marks representing the heights of all humans within a ten-meter radius.
Date of Recovery: 8/9/2016
Location of Recovery: ███████, Oregon
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A recipe for meatloaf which will always result in a meat-free dish, regardless of ingredients used. To date, this has included tofu, salads, and egg-free pastries.
Date of Recovery: 2/15/2007
Location of Discovery: ██████ Family Cookbook in Holmes County, Ohio
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A photosynthetic Red-footed tortoise (Chelonoidis carbonarius).
Date of Recovery: 7/13/2017
Location of Discovery: Newark, New Jersey
Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A golden-mantled ground squirrel genetically identical to an artichoke.
Date of Recovery: 12/12/2012
Location of Discovery: Billings, Montana
Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A digital folder holding exactly 3000 copies of a single JPG of a cartoon skeleton. The folder cannot be copied, deleted, or edited in any way. It can, however, be moved onto a hard drive. Looking at the folder causes large amounts of stress and fear for the user.
Date of Recovery: 9/13/2017
Location of Recovery: Public computer at the ████ Library in █████, Maine.
Current Status: backed up to hard drive in Dr. ██████’s office.

Item Description: An earbud with a missing jack that transmits a message in Morse Code. When deciphered, it specifies to SCP-██'s date and geographical location of recovery. Said SCP object posesses anomalous effects relating to radio waves.
Date of Recovery: 12/01/1999
Location of Recovery: Vancouver, Canada
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: An abnormally notable piece of 2x4 board. When test subjects are asked to randomly select a wood board from a set of wood boards that includes the object, the object will always be chosen. When questioned on their reasoning, subjects report a nonspecific sense of notability.
Date of Recovery: 07/12/2009
Location of Recovery: Springfield, Illinois
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A doll resembling a child, wearing a heavily damaged dark blue dress. Its arms are detached from its body, and its fingers have not been recovered. When either it or its arms are photographed, they emit small amounts of Cherenkov radiation, causing them to glow softly.
Date of Recovery: 13/7/2018
Location of Recovery: Marlowe, Ontario
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: One cow cadaver. Cadaver shows no anomalous properties other than the location of discovery.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: South Pole–Aitken basin, the Moon.
Current Status: Remains in location of discovery.

Item Description: A one gallon jar full of preserved brine shrimp. Each shrimp is entirely composed of human nervous tissue, but apparently structured anatomically accurate to a living instance.
Date of Recovery: 03/20/39
Location of Recovery: ██████, Arizona
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A single double AA battery that possesses an unlimited amount of energy despite of extensive use.
Date of Recovery: 03/12/2018
Location of Recovery: A Prometheus Labs Facility located in Iceland.
Current Status: In storage. NOTE: Retrieved by Mobile Task Force Omega-20 ("Thought Police") as part of Operation Red Thunder.

Item Description: A plain composition notebook that is ordinary in every way, with the exception of the conversation tables in the back. The table contains conversions that are impossible in real life, such as 'Joules' to 'Decibels per Second'. When calculated in the notebook, the calculations work out in a sensible and reliable manner. When transferring to other media, the mathematics abruptly falls apart, making all of the equations false.
Date of Recovery: 09/10/2018
Location of Recovery: The engineering department office of [REDACTED] University.
Current Status: Located in the extra-dimensional research laboratory for use in calculations.

Item Description: A snowglobe that when shaken causes snow to fall within 3 meters of the user for a period of 20-30 minutes. Effects still occur in locations where snow is irregular.
Date of Recovery: 01/18/2016
Location of Recovery: ████████, Pennsylvania
Current Status: Storage. May be used during winter holidays to improve morale with a wintry atmosphere.

Item Description: An unmarked wooden box of 100 steel paperclips. The objects, when bent, return to their proper shape and will automatically link together when placed in clumps.
Date of Recovery: 03/26/2005
Location of Recovery: Abandoned Staples shipping crate in Sacramento, California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A 17th-century iron maiden that plays "Iron Maiden" from Iron Maiden's debut album Iron Maiden at approximately 100 decibels when closed. This sound is only audible within the device itself.
Date of Recovery: 6/9/2017
Location of Recovery: In the cargo compartment of a van discovered in a parking lot of a bar located in █████████, North Carolina. The owner of the bus is unknown; at the time of discovery, an Iron Maiden cover band known as ███████ was scheduled to play in the venue on the following day. No solid link between the vehicle, either band, or the venue can be ascertained at this time.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A washing machine that, upon starting a cycle, becomes transparent for the entirety of the cycle. The laundry remains fully visible.
Date of Recovery: █/█/20██
Location of Recovery: █████████, Virginia
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A compass that always points to the closest human with B-positive blood type
Date of Recovery: 6/5/198█
Location of Recovery: A hospital in ███████, Oklahoma
Current Status: In Site-██ infirmary

Item Description: An AOL free trial CD that constantly emits the sound of a dial-up modem.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████.
Location of Recovery: New York, NY, USA.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard Australian Government Passport. Upon holding, the passport details will automatically be of the holders details.
Date of Recovery: 06/12/2003
Location of Recovery: Sydney Airport, International Terminal, NSW, Australia.
Current Status: In a standard containment locker at Site-45.

Item Description: A chrysanthemum blossom that instantly turns to iron when touched by a human being. Object returns to organic form when released.
Date of Recovery: 09/17/2013
Location of Recovery: An apartment in Los Angeles, California.
Current Status: In a vase at the Site-19 break room.

Item Description: A plant-like organism that does not resemble any known terrestrial species. Does not have any other anomalous properties until fully grown. When fully grown, it asexually produces a seed pod. The seed pod starts as a small ball of dough and grows to bloom into a pizza with a diameter of 30 centimeters. Pizza has no anomalous effects when consumed. Pepperoni is present on the upward side of the pizza. The pepperoni function as seeds.
Date of Recovery: 10/2/2016
Location of Recovery: Lexington, Kentucky.
Current Status: Seeds stored in Class-VI Long-Term Cryogenic Storage. Wild instances confirmed neutralized. Pending SCP designation.

Item Description: A remote control whose mute button can affect anything it's pointed at, turning on or off their ability to make noise for 48 hours.
Date of Recovery: 02/19/2023
Location of Recovery: ████ ████ st, Maryland
Current State: In Armory at Site-33. Permission may be granted for limited use during stealth missions.

Item Description: One (1) Malboro Menthol cigarette carton, of which contains one-hundred ninety-eight (198) cigarettes. Upon using one (1) cigarette, the user will immediately contract severe lung cancer. Upon unfolding the wrapping, they will read "Don't [expletive] smoke cigarettes."
Date of Recovery: 08/24/2001
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], a convenience store in [REDACTED].
Current Status: In medium-threat storage in Site-45.

Item Description: A cube made of a red, metallic substance similar to darmstadtium, one inch on a side. If cut, both pieces will regenerate.
Date of Recovery: 12/17/2018
Location of Recovery: Barrie, ON, Canada
Current Status: 192 in storage, available as requested. Unknown if there are instances still uncontained.

Item Description: A white blanket which causes severe tactile hallucinations when worn by individuals aged 12-29.
Date of Recovery: 22/01/2005
Location of Recovery: Central London, UK.
Current Status: In Storage. Accessible to Level 2 personnel or above.

Item Description: A metallic folding chair which slides backwards when a human is trying to sit on it, thus making the victim fall on their rear. There is no detectable means of the chair's movement.
Date of Recovery: 09/15/199█
Location of Recovery: ██████ High school, Columbus, Ohio.
Current Status: In Storage.

Item Description: A diary with no name on the covers or pages, which reveals a seemingly endless amount of pages if attempted to be flipped to the previous page. Each diary entry gets increasingly ambiguous the more the reader flips the pages backwards. Longest recorded run is 7███ pages, where it states "Day ████. I have done it. It shall take us. all of us" Research about the ambiguous messages is currently ongoing.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: A home in ██████, Pennyslvania. The item was found on a desk in the inhabiting family's home. Memories of the recovery purged.
Current Status: In Testing.

Item Description: An opening in a basement wall which connected to an alternate but largely similar version of reality. The homeowner contacted local authorities after witnessing a person from the other reality exit through the wall. Local Foundation agents intercepted the call and dispatched a containment team.
Date of Recovery: 08/27/18
Location of Recovery: A single-family home in Lexington, Kentucky
Current Status: Neutralized

Item Description: A ████ brand soap bar which possesses a corrosive effect when used on human skin. The item has no effect on non-biological objects. The item also has no effect on domesticated animals.
Date of Recovery 23/10/20██
Location of Recovery ██████, UK.
Current Status: In Storage.

Item Description: A wiki containing an exact record of Foundation data and activities. The website is not anomalous except for the security breach it represents.
Date of Recovery: N/A
Location of Recovery: N/A
Current Status: Still online Note: This site may actually help us by providing evidence to disprove rumors. - Professor Tor

Item Description: An anomalous log describing how a wiki contains an exact record of Foundation data and activities. The log is not anomalous as it explains how the website is not anomalous except for the security breach it represents.
Date of Recovery: N/A
Location of Recovery: N/A
Current Status: Still online Note: Do we have a Professor Tor in the Foundation? - Dr. Unread

Item Description: A red fountain that converts ink into cat's blood when used to write.
Date of Recovery: 1/6/2019
Location of Recovery: Tokyo, Japan
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A █████ brand mechanical watch that, when a bipedal animal of any species, has a line of sight of it, will vomit.
Date of Recovery: 04/10/20██.
Location of Recovery: ██████, Canada.
Current Status: A non see-through box in storage, may be used for testing if authorized by level 2+ personnel.

Item Description: A plush doll of an elephant-cat hybrid. Subject will always remark the object is "Nice".
Date of Recovery: 11/06/20██
Location of Recovery: █████, Mexico
Current Status: In Dr. Richards office. Note: Nice. -Dr Richard

Item Description: A wooden stick, when measured in yards shows 2.1 yards of length. When measured in metres, shows 1 metre of length. This is theoretically impossible.
Date of Recovery: 02/25/2011
Location of Recovery: ██████, Germany
Current status: In storage. Note: All measuring equipment has been double-checked. -Dr. █████

Item Description: A Podium which gives the person standing behind it minor anxiety, whether or not anyone else is in the same room as them.
Date of Recovery: 06/28/1999.
Location of Recovery: █████ Center, ███████.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A right handed ██████ brand baseball glove with all construction materials composed of human tissue. DNA tests have concluded that the epidermis which stands in for the leather belongs to ██████████ █████████, ███ ███████, and ███████████ █████, all citizens of ███████ St. Houston, Texas. When a human inserts there hand into the baseball glove it physically connects itself to the subject, becoming part of the body and replacing the hand. Amputation is the only form of removal.
Date of Recovery: 3/15/2018
Location of Recovery: The house of Little League Baseball coach ██████ ████, Houston, Texas.
Current Status: Kept in chilled storage in the medical ward of Site-██.

Item Description: ███████ brand Christmas lights, colored red and green, when in the line of sight of any recording device, the entirety of the devices hue will change to either red and green.
Date of Recovery: 12/25/198█.
Location of Recovery: █████, North America.
Current Status: In a standard storage facility.

Item Description: A metal desk fan whose fan blade is capable of reaching speeds of █████ RPM when on the highest setting. The effect is linear, as the fan blade's speed increases at a constant rate of ████ RPM until reaching the top speed. All other settings have no anomalous properties. This effect allows for the fan to 'fly' around the area it is in.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██
Location of Recovery: ██████, Alabama.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Bosch washing machine which makes clothes dirtier instead of cleaning them.
Date of Recovery: 21/5/2018
Location of Recovery: ██████ Dry Cleaners
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A fully organic apple whose skin is invulnerable
Date of Recovery: 02/05/2015
Location of Recovery: Discovered in the home of Mr. ████ when he was in the hospital for a tooth injury from attempting to bite the apple.
Current Status: Insides rotted. Skin still remains in storage.

Item Description: 20 1 meter long glue gun refills. Objects regenerate while being used, consistent with how fast it's being used.
Date of Recovery: 25/1/2018
Location of Recovery: Room 318 in ██████ ████ K-8 school.
Current Status: In storage. Note: Anyone who needs hot glue is welcome to use these, there's a glue gun by the box they’re in. Just put them back. -Researcher Lime

Item Description: The object appears to be a standard United States fire extinguisher, though in place of the text "Fire Extinguisher" is "Fire Distinguisher." When pointed at any item and the trigger mechanism is activated, the object will release a male voice which is described as "Condescending" and determine what the item is.
Date of Recovery: 03/28/20██
Location of Recovery: ████████ High School located in Ohio.
Current Status: In secure storage at Site-██.

Item Description: A wooden leg prosthetic that would kick a subject when their backs are turned to it.
Date of Recovery: 2/6/1978
Location of Recovery: Stockholm, Sweden
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: 13 12 goldfish that can "swim" and breathe outside of water and sink and drown when put inside of water.
Date of Recovery: 1/08/2019
Location of Recovery: ███████ fair, Los Angeles, California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A toilet seat that lifts itself whenever it is unobserved.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: Woman's restroom at Site 11.
Current Status: Swapped with a non-anomalous seat in the men's room.

Item Description: A 60's era CRT television that plays "lost episodes" of television programmes aired prior to 1965. Several series are featured, with programmes airing as they appeared when they were first broadcast. The episodes are played on a never ending loop from oldest to newest. At this point in time, none of the staff at the site in which the television is stored have found a way to turn it off. Attempts to destroy the object remain unsuccessful.
Date of Recovery: 17/08/2009
Location of Recovery: ███████, England
Current Status: In storage at site-█ (next to Dr. Spoon's office, for research. Note: Several episodes known to be "lost" are missing from the loop. This implies that these still exist in a recorded form somewhere. - Dr. Spoon

Item Description A DVD of the 1994 film Pulp Fiction. When the scene in which Uma Thurman's character overdoses on heroin is reached, viewers will experience symptoms in line with a heroin overdose, resulting in death.
Date of Recovery 2/9/10
Location of Recovery Los Angeles, California.
Current Status In storage.

Item Description: A globe that, when spun makes subjects feel as though they're currently on a rocking boat. Subjects often lose their balance because of this feeling. It is recommended that those who often experience sea sickness do not interact with this item. Feeling dissipates after 2-13 minutes. Where America is has been replaced by the text "I hate botes" [sic].
Date of Recovery: 3/20/2019
Location of Recovery: Earth, Texas.
Current Status: Contained at Storage Site-██.

Item Description: A redwood tree that is unharmed by any methods. The branches and pines tie in knots when line of sight is broken completely. Method is currently unknown.
Date of Recovery: Unknown.
Location of Recovery: ███████ █████████, Sacramento, California
Current Status: Remaining in ███████ █████████, monitored by camera.

Item Description: A small cloth "sling bag" full of clothes which, when swung at a person's head, will hit them with a force equal to a thrown rock.
Date of Recovery: 3/22/2019
Location of Recovery: ██████████ School, ██████ City, Cavite, Philippines
Current Status: Contained at Site-25

Item Description: A yellow graphite pencil that constantly levitates 0.9 meters off the ground. Additionally, it always points towards 54.5028° N, 3.1486° W, which is the town of Borrowdale, England.
Date of Recovery: 7/11/2005
Location of Recovery: Thomas Robinson High School in Tampa, Florida.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A male giant anteater (Myrmecophaga tridactyla). Periodically, various species of the family Formicidae will appear in and emerge from any cracks and holes in a 1.5 m radius from it.
Date of Recovery: 03/02/2014
Location of Recovery: Reid Park Zoo, Tucson, Arizona
Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A set of 8 Matryoshka dolls with distorted internal geometries; the doll with the largest external dimensions features the smallest internal dimensions, while the doll with the smallest external dimensions features the largest external dimensions. Objects were recovered placed inside one another in order of decreasing internal dimensions.
Date of Recovery: 6/4/2002
Location of Recovery: Leeds, United Kingdom
Current Status: Objects were separated and placed into individual storage at Site 25.

Item Description: 12 paper straws of unknown make, which cause whatever fluid they are inserted into to become identical to ████'█ brand sweet tea.
Date of recovery: 4/11/2005
Location of recovery: A small 750 square feet apartment in ███████████, FL.
Current status: In storage.

Item Description: A scale model of the human skeleton made of a nontoxic amalgam of chromium. When it comes into contact with a human being, it becomes gaseous, and enters their body and coats their skeleton in itself.
Date of recovery: 4/11/19
Location of recovery: Output chamber of SCP-914, after a test with ████████.
Current Status: Coating the skeleton of Dr. ████. Note: Dr. Mann really wants to get his hands on this thing - Dr. ████.

Item Description: A stainless steel spoon that only reflects the face of individuals whose names contain anagrams of the word "spoon".
Date of Recovery: 02/01/2019
Location of Recovery: The Home of Dr. Spoon.
Current Status: Storage. Documentation contains photographs of the object dressed in a doll's lab coat with paper bow tie, with images taken at such an angle to show Dr Spoon's face reflected in the object.

Item Description: A plastic decorative skull that, when thrown, will change trajectory towards another person's face.
Date of Recovery: 09/19/1998
Location of Recovery: Civilian hotdog stand, ████, New Mexico
Current Status: Storage.

Item Description: A blue horseshoe magnet that is only attracted to non-magnetic materials.
Date of Recovery: 4/20/2019
Location of Recovery: Found in a dumpster behind a department store in Des Moines, Iowa.
Current Status: In Dr. █████'s office.
Note: Can we do more research with this? It’s attracted to air and won’t stop floating. -Dr. █████

Item Description: Windows.System.OntologicalException.
Date of Recovery: 2016-11-03
Location of Recovery: Microsoft Corporation Headquarters in Redmond, Washington.
Current Status: Bug closed. Could not reproduce.

Item Description: Two 10 x 6.5 x 5 cm wooden jewelry boxes that, when both lids are closed, swap contents between the boxes.
Date of Recovery: 1-6-2019
Location of Recovery: One of the boxes was found in a thrift store in █████, Illinois. Its anomalous properties were observed when Researcher ███████ noticed that whatever he put in the box would vanish when closed, and reappear when closed and opened again. A GPS device was used to find the location of the other box in a nearby home.
Current Status: Storage, pending investigation for SCP status. At Site-██.

Item Description: A toothbrush with a compulsory effect. People using it to brush their teeth will invariably hold the brush steady and instead intensely shake their heads.
Date of Recovery: 17/5/1997
Location of Recovery: At a residential home in Lidköping, Sweden.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A graphite pencil, when used to write, instead forces the holder to produce a photorealistic drawing of a █████ brand audio speaker.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/████
Location of Recovery: ██████,██
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A coffee table that stubs a subject's right toe when not in direct line of sight.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2015
Location of Recovery: █████████████, Oak Creek, Wisconsin
Current Status: Stored at Site-██. If access is needed, contact Dr. ████████████ Note: This anomalous item will not be intended for purposes of entertainment, experimentation, or consumption. —I'm looking at you ██████. —Dr. ████████████

Item Description: A notebook in which all drawings made on it appear to be governed by 2D physics. Drawings locomote as if they are in a liquid medium.
Date of Recovery: 10/05/2019
Location of Discovery: ████ ██████ college at ███████, █████
Current Status: In storage.

DATE OF RECOVERY: 17/05/2019

Item Description: A 1950's music box that plays a different melody each time it’s cranked. Notable things are it plays backwards every 25 times cranked, and on rare occasions asks you to dance.
Date of Recovery: 04/08/2019
Location of Discovery: Foreclosed property in California.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A 7" vinyl copy of MC Hammer's 1990 album Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em that generates an impenetrable, invisible force-field around it, roughly 3 cm in radius from all points on the record. Replicas of the record based off of visual scans reveal that it contains the song "U Can't Touch This" looped 13 times.
Date of Recovery: 12/02/2019
Location of Discovery: A dumpster in ████, Ohio.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: An opaque, light blue liquid that, when drunk by any human, causes them to stop seeing all shades of blue.
Date of Recovery: 05/█/2007
Location of Discovery: Abandoned chemistry lab, ██████, Wyoming.
Current Status: In storage pending further research.

Item Description: A Sony 1979 Walkman portable media player that only plays Earth, Wind, & Fire's September on loop. Any human who hears the song within 5 meters will believe the date is September 21, 1978 until out of range.
Date of Recovery:21/██/2000
Location of Discovery: A flea market in Chicago, Illinois.
Current Status: In storage at Site-15

Item Description: A small set of wooden Russian nesting dolls, the largest marked "1.99" at the bottom. When putting the nesting dolls back inside one another another smaller nesting doll appears in the smallest nesting doll.
Date of Recovery: 05/09/2008
Location of Discovery: In the "Miscellaneous Object" section of a Good Will.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A 1968 Pontiac Ventura painted in an off-white color, which only has three wheels. Despite this, it remains evenly balanced, as if it has four wheels. Attempts to put a fourth wheel on result in the tire with the most wear to simply "fall off" if the car is moved, regardless if the lug nuts are tightened. Anomalous feature had gone unnoticed until Agent ████████ attempted to drive the car off the lot, at which point the right-rear wheel fell off.
Date of Recovery: 04/14/1995
Location of Discovery: "Mad Sam's Used Cars", Detroit, Michigan
Current Status: Stored in Site-77 Sector-B Parking Garage.

Item Description: A General Electric U25B Locomotive (Numbered 20█), wearing the paint scheme for the (defunct) Rock Island Line. The engine is capable of movement at low speeds (~10 mph/16 kph or less) without the need to start the engine. Was sold to the Foundation as it required an overhaul which RIL could not afford to do as a result of financial troubles. Overhaul was performed within six months of purchase by Foundation.
Date of Recovery: 02/██/1966
Location of Discovery: Chicago, Illinois
Current Status: Used for shunting duties at Site-45 Rail Depot
Note: It is unknown if 20█ had this anomalous property before or after it was rebuilt. Interviews with former owners/operators are inconclusive. 20█ underwent a second rebuild in 2009, and it retained the anomalous property after the overhaul was completed.

Item Description: An M60 Machine Gun that will act as if jammed after firing exactly twelve (12) consecutive shots. The only way to clear the jam is to open the magazine cover and observe that there is no obstruction. Upon closing the magazine cover, the gun will fire again, provided there is nothing else fouling the firing sequence. If a burst of eleven (11) shots or less is fired, the gun will not jam, provided no dirt or debris enters the system.
Date of Recovery: 8/14/1979
Location of Recovery: ████████, South Africa
Current Status: Jammed In Site 06 Weapon Storage. Any testing must be approved by Dr. Baker IV

Item Description: An hourglass of unknown make or brand which has Martian Soil in it instead of typical sand despite access to Martian Soil impossible at time of recovery.
Date of Recovery: 4/19/1987
Location of Recovery: ███████████, Singapore
Current Status: Kept in researcher Johansson's office for decorative purposes.

Item Description: A metallic spinning wheel about a meter in diameter, attached to a pedestal. The wheel spins with the power provided by the motor, which gets fuel from the spin of the wheel, violating the first and the second law of thermodynamics.
Date of Recovery: 27-2-2011
Location of Recovery: A laboratory located in Washington, USA
Current Status: In display at the foundation physics research branch.

Item Description: A tape measure with a seemingly infinite amount of measuring tape, numbered at every inch of length. At multiples of 5280 inches, the numbers restart from 1.
Date of Recovery: 5/28/2000
Location of Recovery: A Home Depot store in the UK.
Current Status: In storage at Site-77.

Item Description: A bottle of ███ █████ ██████ Lager that contains a liquid chemically similar to human sweat. Any amount emptied from the bottle is spontaneously refilled when the cap is replaced. Only one bottle out of a six-pack displayed this anomalous property.
Date of Recovery: 11-10-2015
Location of Recovery: █████ ████ ███████████ convenience store, Newton, MA
Current Status: In storage. Missing, presumably stolen.
Note: I bet that's Tom fucking Brady's sweat. Some asshole could make a damn fortune with that.

Item Description: A CD copy of metalcore band A Day To Remember's "What Separates Me From You" which when the listener listens to one of the songs from the album, it replaces the man in the cover art and the other art with the listener.
Date of Recovery: 6/21/2012
Location of Recovery: Birmingham, England.
Current Status: General media storage.

Item Description: A double-barreled shotgun with an over/under configuration, with the furniture made of pine wood. The gun lacks any markings, aside from a name scratched onto the upper-barrel near the break-action. The anomaly is that the name scratched into the side of the gun changes almost daily, and only does so when it is not observed directly. While there does not appear to be a pattern behind the name it selects, the gun has frequently chosen the names "Shelby", "Tony", "Arik" (sic), and "Bobby".
Date of Recovery: 10/19/1918
Location of Recovery: Abandoned trench near the French/Belgium border
Current Status: Site-85 Firing Range

Item Description: A stack of copy paper that folds into whatever is illustrated onto a sheet of the paper. Branded Georgia Pacific, and recovered from a Home Depot in California. If animals and living things are illustrated, the drawing is sentient. Note that all illustrations fold into small versions of big things, into 3d shapes. It does not seem to animate black holes, wormholes, and other "impossible" items.
Date of Recovery: 9/14/2008
Location of Recovery: Los Angeles, CA
Current Status: In a wooden box at Site-19, stored in Dr. █████'s desk cabinet. Dr. █████ is trustworthy and has not misused any of the paper made himself many lunches and snacks, he has not, however, used any paper with intent to harm.

Item Description: A cabinet in New York that simultaneously changes to any kind of closed object when object is not in direct line of sight. Objects of transformation since it's finding is cupboard, drawer, a pot, etc.
Date of Recovery: 8/20/2010
Location of Recovery: New York City, USA
Current Status: In the 2nd floor office in Site-85, next to Dr. Hadley's desk. It is used as a file or document storage along with 20 other cabinets at the office.

Item Description: An abandoned Soviet thermonuclear warhead, except that its contents contain unknown Uranium/Plutonium isotopes not found on Earth, and was theorized to be of extra-terrestrial origin. It also emits a low-frequency humming noise whenever any living being is within 10 meters of proximity. It is thought to have a yield of roughly 34 MT, although when it was first forged it was said to have a yield of a mind-blowing 95 MT. The date of its creation is thought to be around the 1950-60s.
Date of Recovery: 25/07/200█
Location of Recovery: Found in a rusty transportation van submerged in long grass near the town of Serov, Sverdlovsk, Siberia, Russia.
Current Status: As of 16/11/20██, it is confined in Area-[REDACTED] which is located under the southern Pacific ocean somewhere near Point Nemo away from human activity as only 1 of its 3 fail-safes remain intact. Work is underway to repair the warhead and to examine the properties of its contents.

Item Description: A 49-year-old Hispanic man. He can speak any language, even made up ones, but cannot read or write.
Date of Recovery: 9-10-2003
Location of Recovery: San Jose, California
Current Status: Living at family home, but must stay in contact with The Foundation at all times.

Item Description: An ████████ brand black microwave, which heats the center plate at a perfectly even rate, while not heating any area outside of this plate.
Date of Recovery: 3-21-20██
Location of Recovery: "Peculiar Pieces" store in Denver, Colorado
Current Status: Kept in Site-██ cafeteria for personnel usage.

Item Description: A nineteen-ninety-nine Window's Ninety-Eight computer that prohibits the user from using numbers. Pressing any of the number keys result in the number being spelled out. The computer will adjust wording to reflect on the addition of more "numbers". Device lacks a serial number.
Date of Recovery: July Twenty-First, Nineteen-Ninety-Nine
Location of Recovery: "Best Buy" located in Warner, New Hampshire
Current Status: Located in Site-Eighty-Four Break Room Relocated to library. Not to be accessed unless requested directly.

Item Description: A brown coffee mug of the ████ brand. Drinking from the mug's left (as of the handle) side causes any liquid to taste much warmer than usually, and drinking from its right side causes liquids to taste colder. This effect applies to all drinkable liquids, but it won't apply to liquids that are not meant to be put in a coffee mug, such as magma, snow, etc. However, the mug won't be damaged in any way by such liquids.
Date of Recovery: 27-6-20██
Location of Recovery: "Hoshe's Store", Washington DC.
Current status: On Site-0█ cafeteria, for site director use only.

Item Eggscription: An egg carton containing 8 eggs, when talking or writing about the egg carton, the subjeggct will continuously make poor taste egg puns. The anomalous eggect does not take place while eggs are outside of the carton.
Date of Eggcovery: 11-8-2012
Location of Eggcovery: "FoodChute", Columbia, South Carolina.
Current status: In Site-303's cafeggteria.

Item Description: A white, quilted, coil mattress, measuring 135 cm by 190 cm. All tags meant for instruction or identification have an absence of text or symbols. All attempts to fit a fitted sheet onto the bed, regardless of dimensions of the sheet or number of personnel participating, will result in at least one corner failing to fit.
Date of Recovery: 01-19-2013
Location of Recovery: London, Ontario, Canada
Current Status: Permanent storage at Site-19.

Item description: A wooden box with the drawing of the sun on it. All subjects exposed to the box, as in standing closer than 3 meters to it, touching it or looking at it for more than 5 continuous minutes, will report the feeling that they are watching the sun itself. They report feeling unusual heat, generating from the box, and the drawing looking exactly as a colored picture of the real sun. The box lacks any other unusual, anomalous effects.
Date of Recovery: 7-6-2012
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], USA
Current status: Used as decoration on Dr. ███'s office, Site-██

Item Description: An pink colored DVD with no visible markings to identify any previous owner. When viewed the DVD appears unwritten. When played on a DVD player an image of English actor Benedict Cumberbatch spinning on a pink background with the song Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy playing. The video will play on repeat until DVD is removed.
Date of Recovery: 14/2/20██
Location of Recovery:A dumpster behind a record store in ███ █████████, CA
Current Status: Shredded on 14/2/20██
Note: I ordered it to be destroyed after the first three hours - Dr. Landon

Item Description: A rogue US Military reconnaissance satellite with the designation RD-███ █. On the 30/██/200█ at 20:21 UTC the AFSC (Air Force Space Command) lost contact with RD-███ █, though its position was still being monitored by ground satellites. AFSC scientists attempted to re-establish radio contact and regain control of the satellite, but failed. 3 hours later at 23:25 UTC the satellite began sending coded signals back to ground control. These were then deciphered to reveal the message "Hippity Hoppity this satellite is our property". The US Military immediately suspected an expertly preformed hacking, and the Foundation were contacted to help with further investigations.
Date of Recovery: 30/██/200█ at 23:25 UTC
Location of Recovery: Some 450 Km somewhere above the southern pacific ocean.
Current Status: As of 5/██/200█, the satellite completely deviated from its current orbit. It now resides at 526 Km above Earth, with an orbital inclination of 25° relative to Earth's equatorial plane. Currently being monitored and tracked by ground satellites at Site-[REDACTED]. The hacker(s) have not been identified, though signal tracing determines that the hacking originated from somewhere in the state of South Australia, Australia.

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