Miss Lohner's Sandbox

Canon Mass Orientation Tool

In Character: New administrative staff with sufficient security clearance may use this tool to more efficiently familiarize themselves with the information in the SCP database. For security and data-integrity purposes, this form of access is read-only.

Out of character: It's a tool that makes it easier to go on an archive binge. You can use the Canon Mass Orientation Tool a lot or you can just be a CMOT Dabbler, it's totally up to you.


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SCP-COOL-J rating: 2
rating: +42+x
SCP-COOL-J-2.jpg

SCP-COOL-J-2. Shortly after this photo was taken SCP-COOL-J-1 broke through a wall while on top of SCP-COOL-J-3 to retrieve SCP-COOL-J-2 claiming “If you losers try to snatch my shades again, you’ll regret it”. No similar actions have been performed.

Item #: SCP-COOL-J

Object Class: Radical

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-COOL-J is currently too cool for the SCP Foundation to contain. Attempt of containment of SCP-COOL-J-1 is strictly forbidden, as our coolness levels will surely decline heavily, thus causing a foundation-wide epidemic. If any personnel other than D-Class makes physical contact with SCP-COOL-J-1, they will need to be immediately sent to the infirmary for frostbite injuries.

Description: SCP-COOL-J-1 is a Caucasian male humanoid, approximately 190.5 cm. (6'3") and weighing 91.17 kg (201 lbs.). No personnel is to make physical contact with SCP-COOL-J-1, as this will cause immediate freezing in the area that made contact with SCP-COOL-J-1, causing frost related damage (e.g frostbite, hypothermia, etc.). Upon speaking with SCP-COOL-J-1 subjects are to subjected to feeling “lesser” than SCP-COOL-J-1 and will attempt to replicate activities that SCP-COOL-J-1 frequents, such as; skateboarding daily, purchasing sunglasses similar to SCP-COOL-J-2, and [DATA EXPUNGED]. After a period of time, subjects that have seen SCP-COOL-J-1 will fall into a state of depression, claiming that they’re “losers” and “not as cool” as SCP-COOL-J-1.

SCP-COOL-J-2 is a pair of █████ Brand Sunglasses, weighing approximately 31 grams (0.07 lbs.) which SCP-COOL-J-1 wears at all times. As of current documentation, SCP-COOL-J-2 has been shown to not emit any anomalous properties, but is still classified as an SCP due to its relation with SCP-COOL-J-1

SCP-COOL-J-3 is a █████████ Skateboard, which weighs 2.26 kg. (5 lbs.). SCP-COOL-J-3 has four wheels which makes SCP-COOL-J-3 used for a means of transportation for SCP-COOL-J-1; each wheel is colored differently1. SCP-COOL-J-3 is capable of traveling at speed up to 854.5 kph (231 mph). Although traveling at such high speeds SCP-COOL-J-3 shows no sign of deteriorating or any signs of ordinary wear-and-tear making SCP-COOL-J-3 seem brand new at all times.

page tags: esoteric-class humanoid joke scp thermal comments: 14
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