No, you're two weeks late! Welcome to this installment of site news, the only news outlet that cares enough to listen to you drunkenly ramble at 3AM! This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!
- The featured articles for this month are SCP-2985 ("Anart, Author of the Scream") by TyGently, and Exploration Log 2474-1 by minmin! One's about the struggle to maintain artistic integrity in a world that wants you to fail, and the other is about a task force daring to explore a desolate planet. Check them out!
- The featured articles from last month were SCP-1340 ("The Fraternal Order of the Cave Mantas") by LurkD, SCP-245 ("SCP-RPG") by Doctor Cimmerian, SCP-2875 ("The Town That Got Fucked By Bears") by djkaktus, and I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die by Roget. One's about a conglomerate of talking sea animals, the second's about an entity that needs someone to play it, the third is about a goddamn bear-arena, and the fourth is about coming to terms with a relative slowly fading. Check them out if you missed it!
Rest of the News
- March Madness has concluded! It was a long, hard tournament. But eventually SCP-777-J, SCP-2776 and SCP-1569 stood victorious amongst the rabble. Give them a hand! Also give a hand to the real winners, Hercules Rockefeller, and Jacob Conwell!
As always, here's everything that was posted during the month of April, with the best* pithy summaries money can buy.
Week of April 1st
The week of April 1st began tragically when #site19 was involved in a horrible kicking spree. Pray for all who were lost.
- SCP-2435 ("Empty Space") - Don’t touch the box. Nothing will happen, and it’ll hurt like hell. Researched by TheSapientOne.
- SCP-2862 ("Beholder") - This is how Alfred Hitchcock movies start. Cataloged by Faminepulse
- SCP-2806 ("We Have the Technology") - Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology… in a limited stage of pre-development. Product testing by Jacob Conwell.
- SCP-2645 ("Through the Looking Glass") - Sometime the looking glass doesn’t want you to come through. ribby97 gazed long into the abyss.
- SCP-2308 ("Futures Trading") - As it turns out, time travel isn't a safe investment strategy after all. Prime financial advice by GreenWolf.
- Unsaved World - Is that what you think? That this is necessary? That this is just? Does your arrogance have no end? Written and translated by Blackbird5154.
- The Maker and the Beast -
Volume 03.17-L-02 1. The Mother and Maker gazed upon the world.
2. They knew only one could prosper.
3. And the owner would be decided by steel.
- Transcribed by SunnyClockwork
- Home is a Place With Mushrooms - Quick tip - you can cut your containment breach time by 50% if you use a glitch in the elevators to clip through the wall and skip to the bottom level instantly. Run time record set by Agent MacLeod.
- Not a contest entry, but a crackfic about gods anyways - The gods gathered at the Great Abyss like flies attracted to rotten meat, hunting each other down and licking the wounds of the universe. They were also throwing a party, overseen by SunnyClockwork
- SPC-140 - The tale of the Sharkic war is a long and bloody one. It’s up to us to make it longer and bloodier. Pugilistic warfare developed by sirpudding.
- GRANT REQUEST FOR GENETICALLY ENGINEERING LOW-COST ORGANIC AUTOMATONS WITH SOPHISTICATED ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE FOR LABOR - There’s no way this could go wrong, right guys? Right? Abominations unto God created by A Random Day.
- Extended SCP-420-J Experiment Log - Yo man, I have had some really, really nice ████ in my day, but this definitely takes the cake. Huh? Where’d I get it? Talk to Quikngruvn, man.
Week of April 8th
Apparently they're giving out free drinks at the Site 23 break room. You better hurry, Bright's starting to make a mess of things.
- SCP-724-J ("Bad Roach") - WANTED FOR THEFT, ASSAULT, DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE, ARSON, AND WANTON DISREGARD OF TOBACCO ADVOCACY NOTICES. IF SEEN REPORT TO daveyoufool.
- SCP-2696 ("The Haunted Victorian Mansion of Dark Peak") - A father does what he must to preserve all that’s left of his family. Recounted by minmin.
- SCP-2457 ("母を見たい") - Being unable to conceive a child can be a distressing thought. Some people come up with more creative solutions than others. Medical exam performed by MrWrong.
- SCP-2243 ("Peep Peepers") - If a finch could speak, we could not understand him. But Nibarlan gives it a shot.
- SCP-2934 ("The Tower and the Pit") - production will continue until the final product has been developed. production must not be halted. do not fear the results of production. granted at request of djkaktus.
- SCP-2241 ("Cameron The Crusader") - What room for heroes is there in worlds such as these? Tuomey Tombstone tries to answer.
- SCP-2910 ("That Only a Mother") - Congratulations to the possible mother of a healthy affront to God! Delivered by A Random Day.
- Incident Zero - Part 1 & 2 - Reality itself is imploding, catalyzed by the one thing meant to save it. The only other thing that can save it is Pandora's Box. Written by DrClef.
- Application to Form MTF Mu-3 Supplementary Docs - Even the biggest projects need the proper bureaucratic approval. Authorized by Boogey_Man23.
- The Day of the Dragon - What has been done will be undone. What has broken will be reunited. Retold by SunnyClockwork.
- SC-95/347-00/723 - The deal has been successfully concluded with satisfaction from both parties, though the horde expressed disappointment in the idea that there would be no unicorns. Orchestrated by MrWrong.
- Oneiroi Collective Hub - There are many contemporary organizations with members participating in Oneiroi, and a few of them are even aware of it. There are many negative consequences to these and your interactions with the Collective. If you suffer from its grasp, that sounds bad. In 2014, the Oneiroi Collective was nominated for the 121st annual 'GCCX' Award given for absolute fucking pointlessness. Dreamt up by Roget.
Week of April 15th
The middle of the month doesn't slow down! There's tons of tales to take a look at, and a big canon has finally resurrected…
- SCP-2743 ("Nadia") - A girl danced her way into a prestigious school, which caught on fire, burnt down, and was abandoned. The ballerina lost her legs, her father begs, and then her dance grew deadly. One heart, one mind, forever to dance, may one day be together. Written by Moenennbys.
- SCP-847 ("The Mannequin") - She'll do anything you want… just please don't leave her. Originally written by an unknown author, rewritten by WrongJohnSilver.
- SCP-2704 ("Ancient Petrospheres") - Shh… do you hear that? When the planets align, these stones come together to produce the music of the spheres. Composed by onetruegentleman.
- Ties That Bind - After reflecting on its tumultuous past, Anderson Robotics' co-founder decides to retire - but this is easier said than done. Built by Jacob Conwell.
- Too Slow - Dr. Clef goes toe-to-toe with a member of the Broken Church - but they're both going to have to step it up. Written by daveyoufool.
- Ball Gags and Scrambled Eggs - In the latest installment of the Resurrection canon, Dietrich Lurk and Django Bridge make some new friends - and so does Lurk's not-so-imaginary friend. Written by LurkD and DrClef.
- In Harm's Way - Not everybody is a fan of Alpha-9. So when petitions don't cut it, you've got to cut right to the source - and then cut a hole in them. Put back together by Sophia Light, DrClef, thedeadlymoose, and Doctor Cimmerian.
- Adventurous Archival! Hub - "BEING, in its form, a record of a certain Archival Department's ad—(or, as it may be, mis—)adventures occurring over a certain, if not undefined, period of time… Archived by Jekeled. Also, Parts Three, Four, and Five.
Week of April 22nd - 30th
This week, there's plenty of SCPs to wade through. In tales this week, artificial intelligence clashes with artificial stupidity while some of us say adios.
- SCP-2392 ("Human Daisy Train") - There's something a bit spooky about this patch of land… something's got to be underneath it all. Dug up by Jack Ike.
- SCP-2130-J ("But seriously, folks…") - This is no laughing matter. Now, Kimmy's stand-up? That's something to laugh about. Written by psul.
- SCP-2918 ("A Post-Traumatic Predator") - Sometimes your conscience won't let you take a life - even if you're a natural born predator. Written by Eads.
- SCP-2923 ("X-Men Syndrome") - As thanks for your patronage, you get first dibs on Dr. Wondertainment's Protein POWER-UP BarsTM. Packaged by Shaggydredlocks.
- SCP-231-J ("0.453592 Kilograms of Flesh") - "At this time, you currently owe us about a jillion dollars, a jillion souls, and a jillion ponies. We're kidding! Now it's two jillion ponies. Pay to the order of daveyoufool.
- SCP-2714 ("Billions of Blue Blistering") - Ten thousand thundering typhoons and tentacles torment until artistic thought is dead. Written by LordStonefish.
- SCP-2765 ("Caveat Dei") - Sometimes even a god needs to buy something - or trade. Traveled by Steeltitan.
- SCP-2478 ("Ordinary Japanese People") - An eta is worth 1/7 of a person. Therefore, seven etas divide into person. Do seven people divide into one eta? Metaphysical mathematics by MrWrong.
- SCP-2563 ("Bones of Contention") - If it died in here, then it's got a bone to pick with you. Written by Dr Solo.
- The Bard of Ambrose - After years of work, Prometheus Labs has finally built an artificial intelligence - a machine smart enough to truly think like a man. The only problem is that it's also smart enough to think it doesn't. Programmed by GreenWolf.
- Realignment - The Foundation thinks that Anderson's not worth pursuing - so infiltrating Congress with their androids will be a hell of a wake-up call. Assembled by Kalinin.
- To Settle All Accounts of the Heart - We don't all get happy endings. But at the very least, we need to say goodbye. Settled by Djoric.
- To Settle All Accounts of the Butt - We don't all get parodies. But at the very least, we need to say raspberry noises. Lampooned by Randomini.
- The Last Good Man in the Foundation - Whoever judges what's for the greater good, they're clearly wrong; otherwise we wouldn't be in this mess. Written by djkaktus.
- What's Real? - It's not a werewolf. It's a hybrid of Homo sapiens and Canis lupus that happens to be allergic to the atomic structure of silver. Written by Ian is Me.
- The Harold Maine Fan Club; Autocorrect; Paris, Texas; 7 Degrees of Separation; Webs - Entries two through six in Wils ongoing series about a bad guy who has a phone that does bad things, and his victims, who have to do what he says else risk being turned into God knows what.
What's been going on in the community aside from our site? Well…
- In Glasgow, the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland performed a concert partially inspired by the music of the SCP Foundation
- Three Days, an SCP fangame by GorePixelGames.
- Peep this awesome drawing of 076 by Tumblr user Kaoru222.
- In which Chicken0215 actually makes 999 cute enough for me to like.
- Surumerume presents: The Day of Liars!
- Kibadori makes 666-J way more fucking badass than I ever imagined it could be. They also drew this awesome drawing of SCP-811 by Pig Catapult!
That's a wrap for this month folks! Again, apologies for the lateness, and expect to see Decibelle back in her normal position next month. I hope you all have a great month, and wish you the best of luck with your endeavors.