yes
rating: +218+x

Is he willing to stop me, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then why am I still alive?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?

#FF0000
Six hundred and twenty.
Seven hundred and forty.
Between these lies eternity.
All returns to me.

I don't work the same as other people.
You look inside me and I've got the same blood and guts and so on and so forth.
But there's just something about my brain.

It's been twisted, you understand, twisted by a man who thought it would be fun.
Or perhaps not.
Perhaps he kept me the same and twisted the world.
Or perhaps not.

the teacher asked the student
"why is five"
the student asked the teacher
"where is your face"

A REVELATION
A BENEDICTION
A SUPERSTITION
all false and yet the only truths
a parable for all to witness
take a good hard look
kiddies
hence I deal you some fucking mindworks

The Good Doctor Made Everything
He Made Me And He Filled My Mind With Thinking Parts
But Perhaps The Thinking Was Wrong
perhaps he misplaced the bit that makes me

sometimes i hurt people

then i remember that it's just a dream
so i wake up and take a good hard look in the mirror
and then once i calm down a little
i hurt people

"Children, I don't even know what your names are."
the pair tells me their names and they forget
"Let me bleed you."
i bleed the children and they giggle and laugh and all is well
what fun

Sometimes, doctor, I get these brief moments of lucidity.
It's so strange. Sometimes they just hit me like a wall.
It's as though everything until now just didn't matter.

Sometimes, doctor, I get these brief moments of lucidity.
It's so strange. Sometimes they just hit me like a wall.
It's as though everything until now just didn't matter.

Sometimes, doctor, I get these brief moments of… I don't know how to say.

perhaps I could call it 'apprehension'.
Yes, APPREHENSION works quite well for what I want to say.
sometimes I am hit by APPREHENSION and the world seems like nothing.

I lean back and my eyes see the world not as it is but as it could be
then my heart pumps hard enough that I can feel my wrists
you know
that bit
where you
are currently bleeding out of, yes doctor, those little bits that the sad people cut to make the sadness go away yes sir yes sir YOU ARE WELCOME.

and my wrists throb and it is good.

then the feeling comes to me when I start to breathe.
I don't normally do that so it is a BIT FUCKING OFF and ODD to say the least haha?
anyway
I breathe out with my mouth and in with my nose.

THE SENSE
THE SCENTS
THE SENSE OF SENSING SCENT

I pity you no longer have a nose to understand my meaning here, doctor.
PLEASE USE YOUR
imagination.
I think you could do that pretty well, Mister Doctor God sir.

oh and also
just before you decide to go off and do some other thing
or think this is meaningless ranting
from an incoherent author
my name is mister redd
that's my name
probably
i mean he GAVE me that name
MISTER REDD
he would say and i would say
DADDY NO MORE HITTING PLEASE
but i digress

no wait that was you two fucks wasn't it
"MISTER REDD NO MORE HITTING PLEASE"
"DON'T MAKE US DRINK IT"
"WHEN CAN WE SEE OUR PARENTS"
i dunno, go dig them up if you want

anyway
the name he GAVE me was mister redd
but i'm not a fucking mister anything
i choose my name and i am
EPICURUS
or maybe not since there was already a guy named that
so perhaps you can call me
bob
or steve
or randall
or 'frank'
let me be frank with you

but then it overwrites
IT OVERWRITES AND ALL IS REDD
hello my name is mister redd would you like fries with fuck you bitch

i met my maker once in a dream
he called himself father and we hugged and cried
he said sorry for not being there
and then as i cried sorry to him
within my arms
he died
and i cried over the dead body
and then i died
and his corpse cried over me

Mister Doctor Wondertainment
Dear Mister Doctor Fuckfuckfuckfuck
please unmake me

The Mister Redd Product Was One Of Many
(i am the mister redd product)
((as previously stated))
(((you fucking twat)))

My Brothers and i guess i had a sister but she was a huge bitch let me put it that way
My Siblings And I Were Made By God
And Put On This Planet To
((((and i'm quoting from the fucking handbook here))))
'help'
help?
help.

HELP HELP HELP SEND HELP

one of them taught kids the phases of the moon
one of them taught kids how the body changes as you grow up
one of them taught kids that maybe being on fire is not a super great life decision
one of them was purple?
i dunno he was a weird one

<i think he was adopted>

and then there was me
all bottled up with HATRED AND MOTHERFUCKING ANGER
and God made me to 'help'
what the fuck man
seriously dude though for real what the fuuuuuuck.

so he put me down and he said
OH DEAR AND BELOVED SON
{that's me, shitheads}
OH DEAR AND BELOVED SON
I MADE YOU TOTES FUCKIN' ANGRY AND SHIT
and i was like grrr yeah i'm a bit angry and stuff hehe
OKAY COOL GLAD WE GOT YOU ON THE DOWN LOW
and i was like yeah what were you saying
OH SORRY LET ME KEEP GOING
nah man its cool
WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
what?
ARE YOU KILLING THAT KID?
yeah
DUDE WHAT THE FUCK
you made me like this you fucking fuck
DAMN SON YOU'RE A BIT FUCKED UP
well duhhhhhhhhhhhh
BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I GUESS I PULLED THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE

and everyone just SPAZZED THE FUCK OUT
"On Purpose"
straight from the mouth of god

NO SERIOUSLY I DID IT ON PURPOSE
i fucking doubt it
NO IT'S LIKE YOU'VE GOTTA TEACH KIDS A LESSON OR WHATEVER
a lesson
YEAH
you're seeing me now right
DUDE STOP THE LOWER INTESTINES ARE NOT CLEAN DON'T MAKE A TIE OUT OF THEM JESUS CHRIST
alright whatever man
OKAY BUT YOU'VE GOTTA TEACH KIDS HOW TO CONTROL THEIR

and this is the best fucking bit

ANGER ISSUES
well shit
I KNOW RIGHT

also in case this wasn't clear, this bit was a bit metaphorical or whatever
or maybe not i dunno
i wasn't there

SO YEAH HELP KIDS WITH ANGER ISSUES
dude how do i do that
WELL YOU OVERCOME YOUR OWN ANGER ISSUES
but i don't have anger issues
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
well i'm pretty happy actually
WHAT
yeah i mean i just got a brand new tie
OKAY SERIOUSLY TAKE THAT OFF
fiiiiiiiiine
SO YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO ANGRY
but i really don't have any anger
OH NOW I'M GONNA CALL BULLSHIT THERE
really i don't
WHY ARE YOU DOING ANY OF THIS
because
i guess
i can?

This was the part where I had a big ol' wonderfuckingriffic tattoo stamped on my back
[FAULTY]
and then i tore my back off
[FAULTY]
and then i tore my back off
[FAULTY]
and then i tore my back off
[FAULTY]
and then i tore my back off
[FAULTY]
and then i backed off
and ran
but now
I'M BACK
AND I'M THE ONE TALKING IN ALL CAPS NOW MOTHERFUCKER

Oh, wait. Here's that lucidity again. That's nice.
What was I talking about before?
Oh, yes. The moments of apprehension.

Sometimes, I start to breathe in with my nose and out with my mouth.
I begin to have 'olfactory hallucinations'.
What it is that I am actually smelling?
I couldn't say, I always forget.

The nose sensations sort of knock me out a bit, you know?
It's as though everything until now just didn't matter.
You know how when a deer just gets stunned by headlights?
What's that saying?
A deer in the headlights?
wow that's fucking stupid
anyway lucidiocy or whatever

I Am Caught Like A Dear In The Spotlights
And All Is Just Like An Internal
'Point Of Revelation'

is this how jesus felt
when he was burning in hell?

Anyway, sometimes I just get those revelations.
They'd only last… hmmmm. Actually, I don't know.
In actual, real-world time, I'd say they last like a minute or two?

around this point you go
like "ugh when is this ending"
shut the fuck up i'm telling a story
no kids i don't know where the shovels are
where was i
something about
jesus?

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT
wait are we still doing this
YEAH MAN I JUST STEPPED OUT TO GET A BITE TO EAT AND I COME BACK TO THIS BULLSHIT
yeah i dunno let's see where he's going with it

In subjective time, I'd say they last from hours to days to years.
It's like, within that very instant, I live an entire lifetime.
And all the happiness and sadness and all that comes with it just bursts into my retroactive memory.
And then by the very next moment it vanishes.

Have I left you speechless?

hahahahaha
HAHAHAHAHA
wow dude you got some fuckin' problems
YEAH I KNOW SERIOUSLY

Whatever, you guys are assholes. I'm going back to stewing Ruiz and Pico's blood.

who the fuck is pico
WHO THE FUCK IS RUIZ

Damn, you guys aren't even paying any attention to sensory input.
Well, I gave my part. Have fun for the rest of it.

wow what a fucking asshole
I KNOW RIGHT

This Is The Part Where We Point Out
The Internal Dialogue
It Never Ends
Even When We Sleep
It Continues
Please Unknit Us
From
This

Hell

wait you
you fuckwads actually dug up your dead parents
holy shit that's fucking gold
yeah i did that

stop crying you pussy
be like your cool little bro
he's fuckin' loving it
hi-five little man

Where the fuck do you think you're going?
Where The Fuck Do You Think You're Going?
where the fuck do you think you're going?
WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

well fuck they're gone
SHOULD WE GO AFTER THEM?
nah i can't be fucked
WELL I GUESS IT SHOULD BE QUIETER NOW AT LEAST
yeah

SON YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP CHILDREN
dad i couldn't i can't stop myself
PLEASE, SON, I DO LOVE YOU. PLEASE TRY HARDER.
i couldn't stop myself i wanted to know what they were like inside
but not in the bullshit kiddie way what you're like inside
like i literally wanted to see what they were made of
What They Were Made Of
What they were made of.
i wanted to see what they were made of
perhaps if i keep taking them apart
one day i will know what i am made of
and then i can take apart myself

since i know you aren't going to do it for me you fuckwad


oh shit how did we get down here
Wait How Did You Get Down Here
DAMN HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THIS BIT
Hey guys, what's going on?
Fuck Guys Get Out Seriously
I've Been Here On A Timeshare For A While
It Costs Way More Than It's Worth
awww come on man just let us sit here for the next act at least
Fine Then Whatever
Don't Touch Anything
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