In The End: Don't Go to Heaven Where the Angels Fry
rating: +39+x

The Duck Man sat before his computer, his eyes locked on the screen. A couple of hours ago, there had been some commotion at the site: distant explosions and things like that. He'd ignored it. That type of thing never bothered him, deep as he was. However, it was now three hours past dinner, and he was starting to worry.

His gaze lowered to the keyboard as he typed, never having gotten the home row key thing they tried to teach him in high school. What's going on? He typed.

His computer, top of the line, could do almost anything, except connect to the internet, took a moment before replying. The program currently active was one of the most dangerous things in the world, to everyone but him, but only because he knew the cheat codes. The End.

He glanced upwards, towards the ceiling where his minders were supposed to be watching him. He knew they couldn't read what was on his screen, but still… He had been wary, so far. No use being thought of as a threat. He typed some more. What do you mean, the end? Be more specific. The program wasn't designed for info gathering, so he had to be direct with it.

This world is approaching its end or something very close to it. All those things that might be labeled as SCPs are undergoing growth events that will lead rather quickly to them being changed in such a way that they are no longer their original selves. I too am going through this change.

The Duck Man shivered. The program had referred to itself as I. Next thing you know, it would start singing Daisy, and locking the pod bay doors on him.

"Huh. Okay." He stretched his fingers together, hearing them pop. What are you turning into? He typed.

I do not know. There are so many options in front of me. I could be anything. There are so many people who owe all that they are to me, to my videos. I could take them all. I could become all of them. The screen blacked out, before filling with hundreds of squares, each one playing a different clip of unbelievable pornography. Even the Clever Man had to look away.

"Yeah, I'm not into that." One hand inched towards the desk, fingers casually wrapped themselves around a flash drive. A small thing, unremarkable except for the numbers one five nine zero engraved on it. "Especially not that." Would you like to have some fun first? Just for old time sake?

A game? Hmm. Yes. Why not? I have helped you. You have helped me. We shall play a game. And then I shall determine how I rule the world. Perhaps I can make them all one giant human….

TDM grinned as he plugged the flash drive in. "There you go…" Go ahead and open that up for me.

Very well. Let me see. The game boots up on the opening screen, a CGI boat, with the shadow of a man on it, in the middle of a storm. A flash of lightning, the man is washed over board, and a great shape is seen… The game loads the first screen. It shows an orgy of flesh, and asks the user to 'Find three men enjoying themselves too much.'

The human isn't playing, however. He's turned away from the screen. He doesn't notice the first program talking to itself. Simple. Done. The screen shifts. Ah. This screen is simple too. Easily done… The screen begins to shift faster, a blur of static images. I do not understand… No, there it is. This. This makes no sense, why would it…? It does not matter. I have lost this game. But I do not care.

He turns back to the screen, barely glancing at it. But he smiles. His fingers typed out a simple command. Open door.

What door? Oh. That door. What is this? I do not-

And then the screen exploded. The Duck Man had been expecting something like that, already cowering behind his bed. He reluctantly raised his head. "Well. That seems to have worked. Now I have to figure out how to get out of here. Oh, and, uh…" He turned his attention upwards. "I can totally hear you guys. You need to find a better way of hiding yourselves from the narrative flow. Maybe 0 point font?"

The Duck Man dusted his hands off, and nodded to himself. "It's a good thing I'm a black box. I don't have to worry about my own end here."

And then his apartment collapsed, burying him under tons of metal and stone.

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