rating: +91+x

SCP-1013-J-94588702 (“Miffy”), believed to be the world’s foremost authority of nuclear acorn technology. Note the modified solar collectors in the foreground.

Item #: SCP-1013-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Because of the sheer size and global distribution of SCP-1013-J, containment in the strictest sense is impossible. As such, containment of SCP-1013-J consists of constant monitoring of SCP-1013-J’s activities and suppressing information about the true nature of SCP-1013-J.

Any official contact with SCP-1013-J must be performed by members of Mobile Task Force Zeta-00 (“Fuzzbutts”); all other Foundation personnel are strongly advised to avoid interaction with members of SCP-1013-J. Current and former rosters of Zeta-00 are restricted to personnel with O5 clearance or equivalent.

Personnel who find that they have accidentally run over a member of SCP-1013-J with their vehicle should vacate the area as quickly as possible. Personnel are strongly advised to not attempt to run over members of SCP-1013-J on purpose, as the consequences may be catastrophic to the individual in question (see also Incident 1013-44).

Description: SCP-1013-J is composed of most (if not all) members of several species of genus Sciuris, mainly the eastern gray squirrel (S. carolinensis), the fox squirrel (S. niger), the red squirrel (S. vulgaris), and the western gray squirrel (S. griseus). Members of SCP-1013-J are significantly more intelligent than are widely believed, and are suspected to be carrying out a plan to take over the world from a vast underground/arboreal complex. Most details of this plan have yet to be uncovered; however, reconnaissance agents have reported widespread combat training with a variety of weaponry and martial arts.


Agents C███, S█████, and B█████ from MTF Zeta-00 performing field observations of SCP-1013-J from a secure location.

Because of the ubiquitous presence of SCP-1013-J around human habitation, a dedicated Mobile Task Force, Zeta-00 (“Fuzzbutts”), has been established to provide reconnaissance of and, when necessary, a conduit for communication with SCP-1013-J. Membership in Zeta-00 is currently restricted to members of Canis lupus familiaris and Felis catus; proposals to expand membership of Zeta-00 to other species friendly to humans are currently under consideration.

Incident 1013-44, 03/15/1992: Billy Hoffman, 19, from Athens, GA, was found dead in his bedroom, bound with vines, with his mouth stuffed full of BBs. Cause of death was determined to be blood loss from hundreds of scratches and bites on his person. Neighbors told authorities that Hoffman’s favorite pastime was shooting at squirrels with his BB gun. The Foundation was alerted to the unusual method of Hoffman’s passing, and quickly established a link to SCP-1013-J.

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